Cenon
by freakyanimegal
Summary: He panted, holding the area over his heart where a gaping hole had just been, stunned, then jolted as the four-armed figure grabbed him by the collar and lifted him off his feet. "It's time to wake" The fiery feeling erupted into an inferno.   cover pic by Symphoniafan
1. Chapter 1

**I got to the point I just post whatever I write. That way you can read SOMETHING while I procrastinate with the other stories.**

**M'kay well, I realize this idea is not wholly original, that and I used this basic idea once before in another fic, sadly there was so much IN that fic that it kinda got pushed aside anyway (You know the one .') but I found the idea interesting to get into from this angle and well…whatever, here it is. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Brown irises widened dangerously, even the rich chocolate color seeming to strain into a dull ruddy shade as a look of horror appeared to penetrate right into the very cores of his eyes. Someone screamed his name, but he was already falling to the ground, blood gushing from the hole in his chest. The brunette collapsed into the dirt face-first, a pool of red slowly seeping out from his body and staining the grass around him. However, the fight continued, the monsters would not halt to give his companions time to mourn him, and fight they must to keep from dying themselves. His companions saw him fall, all of them reacted in horror but none made it in time to aide their now fallen leader. Their healer didn't even bother to get to him, they all knew that he had been dead before he hit the ground.

At least…he had been dead…

* * *

It felt like he was floating in water. His body lay horizontal and he drifted up and down slowly, his hair rising and falling gently against his face. With a twitch he felt his eyelids attempt to open, and a slow surge of air flood into his throat. Slowly his eyes opened, his eyes misted and blank, unresponsive as he was. He couldn't see anything….it was just empty white space….was it? No…there was something else…but….but.. His body jerked and his chest heaved, his breathing ragged as his eyes closed shut again. Then…he was falling, at least, he felt like he was falling. Headfirst, slipping through the air, faster and- and then it just stopped. Though he hadn't felt his body turn he felt his feet touch something and he managed to open his eyes to find himself standing….on something, though there still appeared to be nothing. He blinked and slowly moved his head to look around, finding nothing… He lifted his foot and droplets fell from his boot, ripples dancing across the ground when he did so. With a short gasp he put his foot back down, finding the ripples began to spread further across the surface. Was this water? …Yes, it was water- it moved like water, anyway, but it didn't…look like water. It was- nothing, like it wasn't clear, yet he could see it move…he couldn't seem to wrap his mind around it.

The he noticed the streaks of red beginning to stretch into the 'watery' surface, like frayed roots snaking around the ground. He blinked and looked down, noticing with a short intake of breath what it was and where it came from. Blood was seeping slowly down his body, from a very deep hole in his chest. Instinctively his hands went up to it but he jerked them away a second later, a surge of pain from the touch. No…what was this? What was going on? …he wasn't dead, right? If he was dead then he shouldn't be able to feel that, right-? …But…he didn't feel that. When he touched it, he did, but he didn't feel the hole in his chest…

He looked back at the surface on which he stood, watching the blood crawl along it in all directions- when suddenly it stopped. Just stopped. The little streams of blood stopped and just as suddenly as they had done so, began to move again, but they began to move…to each other. The streams of blood channeled themselves back to his feet, actually streaming upwards, back into his chest. He gasped in horror and shock as his lost blood flowed right back into his body, disappearing from the ground as his torso jerked and the wound over his heart sealed itself with a sound akin to ripping cloth.

"W- what the-?" he choked, holding his hands over the now non-existent wound.

Then….

"Agh-!" he jerked, stumbling back as he clutched his heart.

There was this…throbbing in his chest, not exactly like his heart, but…it pounded, it pulsed and he felt warmth beginning to build inside him, like fire…and yet not painful. He gasped for breath, alarmed, frightened as his eyes began to blur. He was scared, but- but…at the same time something about this felt…great. This pulsing in his body, this building warmth, it was…

Everything went dark.

Darkness and then…..there was another hand over his heart.

His eyes snapped back into focus and he saw a figure before him, one with narrowed blue eyes and golden hair…and- if he could trust his eyes at the moment…four arms?

_It's time to wake. _

He couldn't respond, couldn't move, could only stare and breath as the- being's, hand…grasped into his chest over the wound. He let out a scream of pain, the being's fingers literally clawed into his torso. His screaming did not last long, however, as a second after that another hand's palm met his forehead and he froze in mid screech, his entire body refusing to move, refusing to scream, refusing to even breath. The fingers in his torso slid out of his body and he felt the wound close up exactly as it had before with that same itching, stretching feeling. The blond figure frowned at him, as if angered, but then released his head as well, disappearing into nothing. He fell onto the ground, gasping, staring dumbly into the surface that began to ripple when he knelt on his knees…then from the ripples…a reflection formed. Or was it a reflection-? No, that wasn't a reflection, it wasn't him, but it was a person. Smooth, rich dark crimson hair that fell to the shoulder where it flayed inward toward the neck, a rather imposing man donning a long white coat with intricate red designs, a breastplate on the torso seemingly made from obsidian, as well as the armored gauntlets on his arms. Though he appeared intimidating as a human being would, what instilled the most awe were the eyes. The inner eye consisted of a ring of rich brown separating it from the outer eye…but the inner eye didn't seem to have a color, or have a set…appearance. They had no pupils, and the 'color' itself didn't seem to sit still. It was like looking into a slow, shifting, whirring pool of water; it looked milky almost, but…like…well, water, churning and shifting like the sea itself…and the feel of the eyes regardless was one of being watched by…something….

The gaze was powerful, calm, piercing, like if you stared too long into them you could lose yourself completely, like you would simply evaporate into thin air.

He stared down at the figured that mimicked his posture, but not his expression, he was sure his horrified face didn't match that calm, divine demeanor. He stumbled forward a bit, putting out a hand to catch himself, the image's hand meeting his. The red-clad fingers gripped into the surface and the bare fingers of the reflection in turn came out of the surface and gripped onto his. The boy gasped in horror when he felt his arm being pulled down, the rest of his body in turn pulled into the surface and his body pulled down perfectly into the image.

The fiery feeling in his body erupted into a white hot inferno.

* * *

The group had to bring up their arms to shield themselves, digging their feet into the ground as the torrential wall of wind erupted from seemingly nowhere. Even the monsters they fought stopped their advances and gripped onto the ground, bracing themselves against the typhoon. The wind roared around them and the ground shook below, roots bursting up from the nearby trees into the open air, bringing up rocks and dirt with them, cracking the earth. Jolts of electricity cracked through the air, giving a tingling charge to the entire area as a bright light drew their attention. A mass of light was in the eye of the winds that had begun to blow out around the area, electricity cracking around the mass, which cleared as the winds died down and the earth ceased its shaking. Where Lloyd's body had been stood a tall man with his eyes closed, the red locks settling against his face as the white cloak billowed out and then settled. Needless to say all present, even the monsters stopped, staring at the strange…occurrence. The figure stood there for a second or two in which nothing moved and no one breathed, its eyes slowly beginning to open before snapping his gaze onto all of them, freezing them all in their tracks with the otherworldly gaze. Once more the earth shook and the roots from the trees jerked out of the dirt, lashing out like whips and ensnaring the monsters, which shrieked and flailed as the roots held them tight.

"…"

The figure held his hand out, eyes locked on the beasts.

Then snapped his fingers; the creatures bursting into flames with screeches of agony.

A second later their screams were silenced, the roots slinking back into the ground as ashes remained of their victims. The assembled group, the Chosen of Mana, a half-elven teacher and her brother, a ninja from another world and a mercenary, gaped in awed silence of the figure who was drawing back his hand- then his body jerked and he swayed, falling forward. By the time he hit the dirt his body was once again a brown haired seventeen year old, clad in red, laying exhausted on the ground, breathing heavily. The first one to move was the mercenary, Kratos, who ran to the boy's side and carefully lifted him up into a sitting position, supporting the boy as he did so. The rest of the group ran to him a second later, all of them wearing looks of shock and awe.

"Lloyd, Lloyd can you hear me?' Kratos asked slowly, unable to take his eyes off the boy who had healthy skin over where a hole had just been torn in his chest.

The eyes fluttered open after a second, his chest heaving as he sought breath.

"K…Kratos…?" he managed to choke, his brown eyes meeting the man's.

Unable to find any words, he merely nodded. The teen managed to tilt his head to gaze at the remnants of his friends, who could only manage to stare at him. There was a long moment of silence before anyone spoke. Lloyd let out a choking sound as he attempted to form words…

"…W…" he swallowed, fortifying his voice, "What the hell just happened?"

**I imagine everyone has the same exact thought, Lloydie, don't worry about it :P**

**Review if you want. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing D8**

**Enjoy.**

What was happening to him?

His entire body shook as his eyes stared blankly ahead, unsure of what had just happened or if it had even happened at all.

"Lloyd…you…you just- you were-" Genis stammered, just as dazed as his friend.

"Lloyd, do you remember what happened?" Raine frowned, her eyes narrowed. "Do you remember what you did?"

Lloyd looked at her and then shook his head violently, grimacing, biting his lip as his face scrunched up. What he did? What-? He did, yet he didn't, it wasn't something he could really explain. He knew what had just happened yet whenever he tried to find it in himself to explain it, his brain just scrambled.

"I…" he closed his eyes, wincing a bit, "I killed the-"

He cut off, his eyes jerking open wide. With a quick jolt he attempted to get to his feet but staggered, his friends going to support him as they set him back on the ground, trying to calm him.

"I- I turned into-!" he stammered, his face going pale. "I turned into- that- person! The person I saw when-! …W- wait…"

He hesitated here, slowly shaking his head.

"Lloyd-?" Colette began.

"I- I died…" he whispered with barely a sound.

The assembled group froze, which did nothing to help his nerves. Lloyd flinched and frantically surveyed his wound, finding not a trace of the injury aside from the hole in his shirt and the blood-stains.

"I- I did, didn't I?" he blurted, his voice cracking with his chaotic emotions. "I- I died! I was dead! Wasn't I? I- but then I- wh- what happened! What happened to me? Why am I alive? I shouldn't be alive! What happened, what happened-?"

"Lloyd!" Kratos snapped loudly, cutting off the teen's horrified cries. "Calm down! Getting overexcited like that will not help any of us!"

They all stared. Kratos had shouted. That alone seemed almost as bizarre and terrifying as what had just happened a minute before. Lloyd stared at Kratos and then swallowed, nodding his head, quiet, his body shaking. The mercenary scanned him rapidly, frowning, his expression unreadable. Raine was already examining him, his wound, his body, trying to make sense of the intense mana that had surged from her student, to make sense of the transformation he had undergone…

The fact was though, they had no answers. They speculated and suggested, but they had nothing. Of course they began to question Lloyd again, asking what he remembered, if he knew what had happened.

"I- I-" Lloyd looked between all of them, swallowing, pale. "I –"

Suddenly a wave of exhaustion hit him. He cut off in mid-word, his eyes glazing, swaying and then falling backwards, out cold by the time Kratos caught him.

* * *

His eyes flicked up again to a dark sky above, the stars twinkling gently through the abyss, the moon shining brightly, making the night sky appear as if despite the darkness it was abuzz with light and life. He groaned and scrunched his face up, trying to ignore the throbbing in his head and the sore feeling in his chest. One of his hands came up and rubbed the sore area tenderly, wincing a bit at his raw skin. Where were they?

He managed to sit up and he looked around, the blanket that had been placed on top of him falling gently into a pile on his lap. This area didn't look familiar, but at least the others were here. Genis and Raine were sleeping near the fire, Sheena was out cold as well, Colette-

"Lloyd! You're awake!"

He nearly had a heart-attack but then turned toward her as she trotted over, smiling weakly at her.

"Oh…hey Colette," he said, tired, "Where are we?"

"Uh- well we made it to Lake Ulmacy," she smiled weakly, looking off to the side, "See? It's the lake, isn't it pretty?"

Lloyd looked off as well, seeing the dark water shifting with the blurred starlight dancing around over its surface. It was pretty, and the trees around here made it look pretty too, especially in the starlight. They had been coming here too look for that unicorn they had heard about, the one that might be able to heal Colette…he didn't bother asking why she was up. They all knew she couldn't sleep anymore.

Lloyd looked at it and frowned, a strange feeling coming over him as he looked at the water, like the churning, shifting surface was dancing inside of him-

"Are you all right, Lloyd?" Colette asked quietly.

"Wh-? Oh- y…yeah, I'm fine," He frowned, nodding, "it doesn't hurt anymore really…"

He wasn't looking at her. How could he? He knew this was all wrong, he knew this was impossible, he knew this was all- just wrong. What else could he call it except wrong? He should be dead. He should be dead…but he was alive. How-?

That man. That man in the water…the man that he had-

Become…

He shuddered violently, looking at the ground, his head hanging.

"So- …what did- did the Professor find out – anything?" he asked weakly.

"…" she shook her head, frowning, "No but..you kept muttering in your sleep. Something about…four arms."

He flinched, the memory rushing back to his mind. Lloyd looked up at her, eyes widened, then frowned and looked away, thinking about it.

"Yeah," he muttered, "….When- When everyone's up in the morning…I'll…explain that. I can explain that part at least- I think…"

Silence fell between them, the chirping of insects and the churning of the lake filling the void. Lloyd frowned and stood up suddenly, Colette flinching and looking up at him.

"I- I'm just going to go for a walk Colette," he said, frowning, then looked at her, "I- I need to clear my head- I won't go far…just around the lake a little- okay?"

Colette looked him over and then nodded, silent. What could she say, after all? Lloyd gave her a weak smile and then walked off toward the edge of the lake, a frown falling back on his face. What he was feeling…he wasn't quite sure. What was he supposed to feel? Nothing made sense. He should be dead, he should be….and that- that dream, that vision, whatever it was…

A shiver went down his spine.

What was it? What did it mean? Who was that four-armed figure…what did he mean it was time to wake up? And the man in his reflection…the man he had…become…

Swallowing he quickened his pace to the lakeside, stopping at the bank, looking down at the churning water. What was he even doing? Trying to see his reflection? Feh, it was too dark for him to do that…stupid…stupid of him to do this. He should have just gone back to sleep, let the lull of the water drift him to sleep-

….The water…no not just the water….the sounds…insects, small animals, nocturnal fish poking at the surface to catch bugs…suddenly he was aware of all of it. Like he'd had his fingers in his ears and then just decided to take them out. It wasn't as if it was loud…it was just…there. Just there. He became aware of his heart racing, and why he wasn't sure. Was there some kind of danger-? No that wasn't it….there was no danger. Then what was going on? What was happening to him- no just take a deep breath….calm down…

Lloyd closed his eyes and did so, taking several deep breathes. The air…the air smelled so sweet, so clean, so…refreshing, it made every cell in his body seem to jitter, made him feel awake, alert-

"Agh-!" he choked, eyes widening, shaking his head.

What…what was going on? Why was he shaking like this….

This feeling…this beautiful feeling- no. No snap out of it!

"Grr…" he growled under his breath, shaking his head again, "this is stupid…"

He went to turn and walk back to camp, already out of sight of it except for the fire, when his foot decided not to cooperate. He slipped and let out a yelp, backpedalling in an attempt to gain his balance, then let out a sigh of relief before he realized he was standing on….the lake.

Meaning the water.

He was standing on top of water.

"Wh- what the-?" he choked, his face paling, staring down at the shifting surface that seemed to slink under and around his feet, leaving him perfectly dry. "What the hell-!"

He let out another cry a moment later, when quite suddenly he sunk again, going up to his ankles in the lake and accompanying an audible splash. Lloyd let out a cry and scrambled back onto the land, panting, staring at his now-wet feet and then the water, stunned.

Did- did that just happen? Was he losing it? There was no way that had happened- right?

He nervously glanced back at the water, as if expecting it to rear up and start tap-dancing (how that would work admittedly he wasn't quite sure), it looked normal enough…and his feet were wet. So yeah…he had to have just imagined it. Had to have just…then again…there was a way to find out right?

Lloyd swallowed, looking at the water a moment before taking a deep breath and then running into the water a bit, expecting his feet to touch the sand and to be up to his knees in water.

Instead he found himself standing on the water a few feet from the shore. He froze in place and stared, barely letting out a 'what the-?' before suddenly he sank again, his legs buckling and effectively sending him under water before he could get his feet under him again.

Again…it…he had done it again. No…no way…but- but even when he had, he'd sunk right after…what was-? Hey wait, he'd taken more steps that time though and he didn't' sink until he stood still. He mused the thought a moment and then looked around, frowning. Shaking his head he walked back to shore, slightly cold from the water, looking into it.

…But now his curiosity was peaked.

"All right…just one more time," he muttered.

He ran out again, and again his feet stayed above the water, allowing him to jog over the surface. He passed the point he had been on before and kept going….he kept going. His eyes widened and then he turned on heel and ran back, not stopping until his feet were on dry land again.

Wait so….if he stopped he fell?

A few tries later, yes, it turned out if he stopped he'd fall in. However in that time he took to running around the lake….all over the lake, and for some reason he wasn't even getting tired. It was…exhilarating! He was running on water! On water! His feet passing over the churning, starlit surface, never once kicking up water behind him, or his foot sinking under even an inch... His heart was racing, unable to keep the grin off his face. This- this was incredible-!

Then he spotted Kratos watching him from the shore.

He skidded to a halt, staring at him, his excitement instantly replaced with dread.

"K- Kratos-!"

Then he fell in.

Coughing and sputtering once he reached the surface, he turned his head toward the man on the shore, unable to see his face from this distance. He shook his head, keeping himself a float, panicking all the while. After a few seconds he quickly swam to sure, his eyes glued on Kratos, who he saw as he drew nearer had a blank expression.

"K- Kratos-" he stammered as he got out of the water, wondering just how clearly he'd seen him in the darkness, "I- Uh-"

"What were you doing out there," Kratos said softly, his expression blank, his tone flat, lifeless, the words coming out more as a comment than a question.

"Wh- I-….I was…swimming," he lied, trying to look as natural as possible.

"…." Kratos closed his eyes, "In the middle of the night in your clothes."

"Uh- well…" he hesitated, glancing aside, desperately trying to think of something.

"…."

"Kratos-"

Kratos cut him off with a hand on Lloyd's chest, followed by a quick shove, which sent Lloyd sprawling backwards again.

"Woah-! Wha-!"

He managed to steady himself….finding himself on the water again. Lloyd chocked and quickly ran back onto land just as he felt his feet about to sink in, panicked and pale.

"K- Kratos-…I- I can explain-"

"No you can't," Kratos said simply.

No. He couldn't. What was he thinking? What had he been doing- running around like- no! He should've just gone back to camp and gone to bed, should have just ignored it- pretend it had never happened. Lloyd dimly became aware of himself shaking, looking at the ground, water still dripping from his hair and clothes, his fists clenched at his sides.

"You're going to get sick, let's go back to camp," Kratos said simply.

Lloyd flinched, looking back up at him, his eyes wide, surprised.

"W- what? Th- that's all you're going to say-? But-"

"You can't explain it and I have nothing to comment on it," Kratos stated simply, frowning slightly, "there is no point in continuing."

The teen hesitated, looking at his tutor and then back at the lake, biting his lip. He turned back and then hung his head, muttering quietly.

"Don't tell the others," he whispered.

Silence.

"I- p- please don't tell them," Lloyd asked, looking up at him, "They- …I don't know what they'll think…"

Kratos looked at him a long moment then turned, walking away again.

"Tell them what? You were just careless and slipped on a rock and fell into the lake," he said flatly, "now let's go back so you can dry up."

Lloyd stared after him again, blinking once or twice, but followed after, noticing the dampness chilling him in the cold night air. He was grateful for Kratos' indirect promise to keep this new development a secret, but…why would he? Instead of just rat him out to Raine? That seemed more likely…

On the other hand if she came after him he could just run onto the water and she'd never get him.

**This chapter still is shorter than my usual, but it seems like a good place to stop it, since next chap will begin with ….SPECULATION D8 nooooooo…..**

**Yes Lloyd can walk on water. Lloyd is either a ninja or the messiah, take your pick, lol.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Mibs.**

**I am aware that made no sense. But really what else do you expect from anything I write?**

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

"Origin?"

"Huh?" Lloyd blinked.

"Wait, the King of Summon Spirits? That Origin? You can't possibly think…" Sheena frowned, her arms crossed, shifting her weight onto her other leg.

The half-elven teacher was frowning, deep in thought, processing the information that Lloyd had just relayed to them about his little 'experience' of sorts. Apparently, some of it had managed to make some semblance of any kind of sense.

…Maybe.

Okay no, but they were getting somewhere.

"Based on how Lloyd described what…happened, then yes it sounds very likely that the figure he encountered was Origin," Raine bit her lip, thinking, attempting to piece everything together.

"But why would the king of the summon spirits-?" Sheena frowned.

"Okay, hold on," Lloyd sighed, shaking his head, "Just what is a summon spirit anyway?"

"A summon spirit is a being comprised of mana," Kratos stated calmly from his place against a tree, "the majority of them are attuned to an element, such as fire, but there are a few of them that have much more….advanced, traits."

"Origin is capable of manipulating time and space, if the lore is true," Raine expanded absent-mindedly, the look on her face and the way she chewed her lip showing that she was focusing on something besides that.

"Wh-? That's- " Lloyd shook his head, "Even if something like that did exist, why the heck would it show up to me? And why would that make me-…."

He lowered his head, biting his lip as well, his brow furrowing in thought. …Why…would it show up to him? And why would he have become …whatever that was, because of it? How was he still alive? Nothing made sense…

"…" Kratos frowned, "We're getting nowhere, there is nothing we can deduce from our limited knowledge of the situation as it currently stands."

Raine sighed, nodding her agreement.

"Yes, we'll have to look into this more later, as of now however we have other issues to address…" she looked to the lake, frowning.

"Huh?" Lloyd blinked.

"We found the unicorn, Lloyd, remember?" Genis eyed him. "The one that we should be able to heal Clara and Colette with? It's here."

Lloyd twitched.

"It- it is?" he stared. "Where? I haven't seen it-"

"That's exactly the problem," Raine sighed, rubbing her face, "The unicorn is at the bottom of the lake…we saw it when we arrived here, you were still unconscious."

Really? Under the water? But he had run all over the lake and hadn't- then again it was dark, he probably couldn't see through the water very much…and it's not like he was going to mention his little excursion at any rate.

"Speaking of summon spirits…" Sheena sighed, "That's what our plan was. We were going to go look for the summon spirit Undine, who Raine says should be at the water seal."

"Undine?" Lloyd blinked, looking up at her.

"The Spirit of Water," Kratos stated flatly, "with her help we should be able to reach the unicorn and receive its horn for our healing purposes."

"That may actually be beneficial to us in more ways than once," Raine stated, her eyes glancing over to Lloyd, "Undine may know something about what happened to Lloyd, being a summon spirit."

Lloyd flinched and tried to speak, then stopped, frowning to himself. Spirit of water….and he had just been …running on water, hadn't he? Was this some kind of coincidence? Then again, how could it be? The other day he had….

Tree roots burst from the ground, monsters shrieked, wind whipped through his hair and fire engulfed them…

"Lloyd? Are you okay?"

He shook his head, putting a hand to it then looking up, somewhat dazed.

"Oh- yes, sorry Colette I just sort of dazed off…" he rubbed the back of his neck, "Anyway- so we're going to Thoda again? We need her for the unicorn and stuff; …and to…"

"We can ask about what happened to you, yes," Raine nodded, "All right then, we'll have something to eat and then we'll pack up camp and head back for Thoda."

"Wow, Sis," Genis blinked, eying her, "You actually said that without flinching…you must really be interested-"

Her little brother was cut off by a loud smack upside his head followed by a whimpering yelp.

There wasn't much more to say, as they ate their meal. As Kratos had pointed out, any speculation at this point was going to get them nowhere, but as such none of them could think of anything else that could be said, leading to an apprehensive silence. Lloyd sighed and chewed his sandwich, oddly silent, staring off at nothing. He didn't know what to think, nothing made sense…and…honestly….

He was pretty scared….

"Woah-! Hey!" he jerked suddenly, his eyes widened in alarm as he scrambled to the side.

Corrine, Sheena's….pet, of sorts, had been sniffing him, prodding his leg with his nose before giving him a sharp bite. Lloyd scowled, his cheeks reddened, glowering down at the little furball that looked back up at him with a little frown.

"H- Hey! What was that for?" he scoffed.

"You smell," Corrine replied in his high-pitched voice.

He stared.

"…What?"

"You smell!" Corrine repeated; his fur flaring up like an enraged cat. "You do! Why? You smell- weird!"

"I- what?" he frowned. "…Well I fell into the lake yesterday-"

"No! Not that!" Corrine huffed, pacing back and forth alongside Lloyd's leg, as if he was a jailer and Lloyd's pant sleeve was a prison block. "You….you're…different."

"Different," he repeated quietly.

He glanced around at the group a moment, wondering if they were listening, but luckily it seemed most of them were occupied with something else at the moment and showed no signs of having heard the little creature. With a frown Lloyd looked back down at Corrine, who bristled and growled cutely.

"How am I different?" he asked in a hushed whisper, eying the little vulpine creature.

Corrine looked up at him a long moment.

"You just are," he huffed, and then disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

…Well…that was helpful. He sort of already knew that.

Going across the sea in the washtubs again wasn't exactly pleasant, not to say it had been pleasant the first time, but it seemed to pass by quickly enough. Though at one point Lloyd had gotten so bored he wondered if maybe he could just take off running and get there faster…something about being on the sea was making him feel itchy…not like he was seasick or anything but there was this nagging feeling he couldn't quite place…

"We made it, Sis, you can let go of me now," Genis sighed, almost buried under the hunched form of his shaking older sibling.

"Wh- ye- yes, of course, we're here…oh thank Martel…"

She scrambled out of the washtub so fast Genis nearly span like a top.

Nothing much had changed in Thoda Geyser, with the exception of now being joined by Sheena, who seemed distracted by something- then again it wasn't that noticeable, they were all distracted, most of them casting glances back at Lloyd. They were all antsy, as one would expect, both excited to see what the pact with consisted and anxious to see what the spirit would say…

Regardless, it didn't appear that things were going to go badly, and with encouragement Sheena called for the spirit, which appeared easily enough.

"I am one who is bound to Mithos, who are you?" she responded.

Lloyd fidget, wincing a bit.

Did it just get…more humid when she appeared? It was harder to breathe…well it'd make sense, he guessed, if she was a water spirit or whatever….

"I am Sheena, I see a pact with Undine," the young woman responded.

"I already bear a pact, I cannot have two pacts at the same time," she responded simply.

"Wh- what?" Sheena choked, alarmed.

"Simply ask her to annul the pact," Kratos stated, his expression blank as usual, "A summon spirit pact requires a vow, as long as the vow is intact the pact will be as well. It's possible the pactmaker has broken his vow…or may already be dead."

"You seem to know a lot about them," Raine frowned, eying him.

"…."

"Yeah, Kratos, that is pretty neat," Lloyd smiled weakly, eager to break the silence, having had enough of it for his tastes. "I mean-"

Undine's fins flared up, her eyes widening as her eyes locked the boy that had been unnoticed as of yet, blocked from view by Sheena and then Kratos. Upon speaking, her attention locked on Lloyd and an expression close to amazement flashed on her calm face.

Then before anyone could even question it, she had charged Lloyd.

Lloyd gasped, his hands barely reaching the hilts of his sword as Undine surged toward him with a sword, her eyes narrowed dangerously on him. Milliseconds from getting another hole in his chest in less than a week, Kratos grabbed his arm and hauled him aside; the spirit sliding passed him barely by a hair.

Before Lloyd even had time to draw a sword Kratos had already locked blades with Undine, his eyes narrowed dangerously and a rather odd spark of fire alit in his eyes. Undine continued her assault with her blade and Kratos met her every move, his lip curled in a snarl. Stunned by this outbreak, Genis finally began to cast, Sheena and Colette both charging in to help while Raine was beginning to cast a spell of 'barrier'.

Undine backed off only enough to dodge Sheena and Colette's speeding chakram, then attempted to dash around Kratos to get to Lloyd, who was still stunned.

"Wh- what the hell! I'm the summoner! Why are you-?" Sheena cried, pale, as if she was seeing something out of a nightmare as the spirit she was supposed to be trying to control attacked her comrade.

"This has nothing to do with the pact," Undine cut sharply, her red eyes glowering at Sheena, "I must end his life."

A collective gasp was heard, thought it was very short, as she had renewed her assault a moment afterward. While shaken, Lloyd had managed to take to defense, not that it was Kratos gave him much of a chance to try, intercepting every move the spirit made. He backed up just a bit, trying to get a good look at the situation. The others continued to attack Undine, attempting to divert her attention, and they succeeded as the spirit became unable to ignore them. Colette whirled one chakram after another, her wings glittering behind her as Sheena rushed in close range, assisting Kratos in the direct assault. They cut her off at every possible opportunity, and as such cut Lloyd of from being able to attack.

"Grr…" he gritted his teeth, trying to find an opening, "Dammit- guys-!"

He was then separated from the others by a huge wall of water.

"W- what the-?" he cried, backpedaling.

He couldn't hear them from the other side, he could barely see them, it was just a wall of water, but it churned and roared like a waterfall, white mist billowing from it.

"G- Guys-!"

He heard something behind him.

Lloyd turned in time to see Undine with her hand outstretched to him, another massive wall of water surging toward him, ripping up the tiles as it came, set on smashing him between the two walls. His eyes widened and he tried to pull up guardian, but didn't get the chance to even say it before the water came within an inch of his face and-

Stopped.

Well no- it didn't stop, it went past him…around him too, but…it wasn't touching him. It was like the water had just decided to go around him, he was surrounded by it, but not a drop of it was touching him. His eyes widened, and through the water he saw Undine's red irises widen as well.

The water promptly disappeared.

"Lloyd-!" Colette called.

Kratos had already come up beside him, grabbing his arm and looking him over.

"Lloyd, are you all right?" he snapped, scanning him hastily.

"I- I-"

"…I understand," Undine's calm voice echoed, "My apologies."

Lloyd flinched, his eyes as well as those of his friends locking on the spirit.

"W- what the hell?" Sheena shouted, red in the face, shaking. "Why did you attack him like that? Why-?"

"I will speak none of it," she said simply, "If you would like the pact, I am willing to give it; I witnessed your combat skills when you attempted to hinder me."

"Undine, please," Raine spoke, turning to look at the frowning mana-being, "Why did you attack our friend?"

"I will not speak of-"

"Does it have anything to do with him coming into contact with Origin?"

"I will not speak of it," she said for a third time, "Summoner, make your vow."

"W- what- but-"

"Make your vow or I shall deny it to you," she said firmly, her red eyes narrowed.

"Wh-? Uh- D- Dammit, all right! I, Sheena, vow to save the people that are suffering…"

Undine quickly made the pact and then dissipated into the air, leaving them standing there in silence with dumbstruck expressions, as if they had just gone through a whirlwind and were spat back out onto the stone.

There was a long silence.

"…Sh..she…tried to kill me…" Lloyd blinked, stunned, his eyes still locked on the spot where she had last been.

"Yeah we kind of noticed that," Genis muttered weakly, only to receive a smack from Raine.

"Lloyd, what happened? How did you get her to stop attacking you? We didn't see…" the half-elven woman frowned, scanning him intently.

"I- I don't know," he shook his head, pale, swallowing a bit, "I…she attacked me and-"

The water didn't touch him.

"S-She just stopped," he finished, frowning, "and she said…that she understood, and then she…apologized to me."

He was met with stares and silence.

"I- I…" Lloyd shook, his fists clenched at his sides before he gripped his head, squeezing his eyes shut, "W- Wh- what the hell is going on?"

…**.I love you Lloyd, really I do **

…**really**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hm…I should probably write for something else soon huh? :/**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Everything was still.

Quiet. Peaceful. Comfortable.

No…it wasn't still. In fact, it wasn't still at all. It was chaos, pure and utter chaos. Every crawling insect, every preening bird, every rustling leaf…there was no stillness, no peace, there was only chaos and energy.

Then why…still was it so comfortable? Why did it instill such peace if it was utter chaos...?

His eyes snapped open.

"Uh…" he winced, sitting up, "Where am I…?"

"At camp," Kratos' voice said flatly.

He blinked and looked around, his eyes adjusting to the dim light of the fire. Camp-? Oh…right…yeah he remembered now. They were almost to Hakenosia Peak. With a sigh he rubbed his face, trying to shake off that strange jittering feeling.

"How are you feeling?" Kratos asked again, walking over from his post to stand beside him.

"Huh-? Oh…I'm fine," he frowned, his eyes on the forest floor. "I'm just…stressed, I guess."

"Hmph, it'd be odd if you were not," Kratos frowned slightly.

There was along moment of silence. Or…it would have been silence, Lloyd guess, if every little sound wasn't distracting him…

He fidgeted a bit, looking up at Kratos and then down again, trying to figure out how to break the riotous silence.

"Kratos- …I…"

"Hm?"

Another few seconds of the silence.

"…Do you…have any idea what's happening to me?" he whispered, frowning as he looked into the flames.

He didn't see or hear anything other than the fire for a moment, before Kratos spoke.

"I have nothing I could tell you on the matter," he answered simply.

Lloyd sighed, rubbing his face with his hands again, closing his eyes as he tried to think.

"I don't get it…I…I die- I saw Origin, the king spirit or whatever, and then we see Undine who's like- under him, right? And she tries to kill me? I don't get it- and I don't know how I even survived- the water just didn't touch me-"

He then realized he had made a mistake.

"It didn't?" Kratos said immediately, whipping his head to look down at the boy.

Aw hell….

"I- I mean- it didn't reach me before she stopped," he covered, looking up at the older swordsman and praying that he would buy it.

Kratos eyed him a moment more before he closed his eyes and sighed, rubbing his face. Whether or not he bought it, Lloyd wasn't sure, but he had dropped the subject at least, and that was all he wanted really. With a sigh the teen turned back to looking into the flames, allowing the heat to wash over his face and the colors to spin brightly in his eyes.

How was it he was supposed to feel? What did you do, in a situation like this? Who had ever been brought back from the dead? Who had ever had a spirit try to kill them on some enigmatic vendetta? Summon spirits were out to kill him, he'd been resurrected as- some kind of…

What was he?

That man he had become wasn't a mere man. What he had done…

The flames cracked in his view and quite suddenly he noticed them again, frowning deeply, recalling how he had seen the flames crack into existence and engulf the shrieking, squealing monsters. How they had cried out as they perished, the flames dying out with their last breath…

He had done that. He'd made it happen. He'd made fire come from nowhere and burn them into oblivion. No- it hadn't just been that…not just fire, not just like a spell. He'd made fire with a snap, with no spell, no incantation, no focus- and what was more…the roots… He'd made the trees' roots burst from the ground, made them capture and constrict them. How? How had he done that? What kind of person could do something like that?

That feeling…that…power…

His brow furrowed and he looked at his hand, watching the shadows flick along it with the tune of the dancing flames. That feeling…how could he describe it? He hadn't really thought about it but…yes…it felt nice. It felt very, very nice…he felt…not just powerful, though that had been nice yes, that wasn't the feeling that had come to his attention most. It wasn't like the ecstasy that had come from running across the lake either. It was something….deeper, something…

He had felt….

The next thing he knew he had slammed back on his back, crying out as what felt like a furball with teeth and claws had made contact with his face. He cried out in panic and tried to remove the creature from his face, shouting out as its sharp nails cut red lines into his face.

"Stay away from Sheena!" it cried in a high-pitched voice. "You're not right! You're not right!"

His eyes widened and he was spared injury on this part when Kratos ripped Corinne from his face, glaring down at the offending creature.

"I- wh-?" Lloyd stared, feeling the color drain from his face just a bit. "W- why is everything trying to kill me?"

"You should be dead!" Corinne snarled glaring down at him. "You should have stayed dead! You should have!"

Lloyd's eyes widened and Kratos frowned, closing his hand around Corrine's muzzle, silencing the protesting fluffball.

"Don't listen to him, Lloyd," he said simply, his eyes on the little spirit, "You're alive, so you are alive. There is no reason you should be anything but alive now."

He was shaking. Why was he shaking? It wasn't cold, why couldn't he stop? Lloyd shivered and hugged himself, hanging his head, staring into oblivion as his eyes bore into the dirt.

"Lloyd," Kratos spoke again, "It's all right- it'll be all right."

He shook and squeezed his eyes shut, biting down on his tongue to suppress a whimper. None of this made sense…what was going on…he was…scared…

"Lloyd-"

"What- what am I supposed to do?" he choked, shaking his head, gripping through his hair. "What's happening-!"

"Lloyd-"

A sudden gust of wind blew through the camp, whipping through the trees and bending the flames from the campfire, like a simple candle being blown out by a short breath. Kratos stiffened a bit and Corrine began to squeak, disappearing in a puff of smoke and disappearing from view.

"I don't understand! What the hell is going on?" Lloyd shouted, frustrated tears beginning to slip from his eyes.

The wind picked up again, howling with a renewed vigor as a light drizzle of rain began to fall, slow at first, then steadily more and more violent. Kratos' eyes widened slightly and he knelt down, grabbing Lloyd's shoulders.

"Lloyd! Calm down- look at me, Lloyd-!"

"Don't touch me-!" the teen shrieked, reaching out to push Kratos away.

He didn't get to lay a finger on him, but something else seemed to take care of it for him. A root burst up from the side and slammed into Kratos' side, knocking him away from the teenager. Lloyd choked, his eyes widening in shock as Kratos reclaimed his footing, looking more startled than he was injured.

"Lloyd-?" the man whispered, glancing between Lloyd and the root, which swayed back and forth like a serpent readying its next strike.

Lloyd took a look at the root and let out a cry, scrambling back, the wind picking up again with his shout. The root slinked back into the ground quickly as the wind began to die, but the rain began to fall harder as Lloyd's tears flowed more rapidly.

"Wh- what's happening to me-?" he cried.

He cut off suddenly, his eyes widening as the wind all but vanished and the rain softened suddenly. Kratos had crossed the distance between them and drew the boy into a hug, holding him tightly. Lloyd choked and stared dumbly, his body going limp, completely shocked.

"Calm down, Lloyd," Kratos whispered softly, "Calm down…it's all right…calm down…"

Lloyd shivered and closed his eyes, sniffing a bit, struggling to get control of himself. The rain trickled down into a light drizzle, softly impacting the dirt and moistening the two swordsmen's spiky hair.

"…" Kratos drew back a bit, frowning, "Are you all right?"

"I…I…" Lloyd swallowed, looking up at him and then down, ashamed, "Yeah."

Kratos looked at him a moment and the nodded, releasing Lloyd from his grip. The teen stood there a moment, his head down, the shadows obscuring his face.

"I did that, didn't I?" he whispered, his fists clenching at his sides.

Kratos sighed .

"It seems so," he frowned.

Lloyd shook again and choked back a sob, holding his head in his hands, fighting back the tears that continued to come. Kratos frowned and look around, but the rain did not change, none of the surroundings were reacting any longer…

"It seems…whatever happened, it has stopped, Lloyd," Kratos said cautiously, "It's all right…it's over."

"Why..is everything like this?" Lloyd whispered, his voice cracking.

"…Lloyd-"

"Things just get more complicated, don't they? Why?" he shook his head, trembling. "Colette has to suffer with the seals- the exspheres are made of lives- and now- now me- even me! Even I'm not what I thought I was! Kratos why- why is everything going crazy? Is it me? Am I going crazy? Is that it? Have I just snapped-?"

"No," Kratos said firmly, "Lloyd you are not insane. The fact you can question that proves as much. You're not insane Lloyd…we'll- we'll figure it all out. Do you understand? You'll find your answers…"

Lloyd remained silent for a moment, shaking his head and wiping his eyes. After a few minutes he took a deep breath and glanced over at Kratos, swallowing.

"I…I guess even if I was crazy I…" he hung his head, "Wouldn't do myself any good just to say that and sit in one place all my life, huh?"

"It's not as if you are imagining all these…occurrences, Lloyd," Kratos frowned, "I witnessed this, I witnessed the...incident at the lake, and the others saw what happened at the Water Seal. You're not imagining it, unless we all are…"

The teen swallowed again, frowning as he considered his words.

"I…yeah," Lloyd bit his lip, glancing aside, "I…I made a promise to protect Colette. I'm not going to break that promise, just because…weird…stuff…happens."

"Your companions will assist you with this, Lloyd, you're not alone," Kratos stated, "Just remember that."

"I- yeah," he hesitated, looking at Kratos and then a way, flushing just a bit, "Thanks…"

Another moment of silence.

"I apologize if I made you…uncomfortable, earlier," Kratos closed his eyes, turning his head away, "I was only trying to calm you down, so-"

"J- Just don't tell anyone okay?" Lloyd blurted a little more quickly than he meant to, feeling his face heat up with a flush.

"I won't," the elder swordsman turned from him, hiding a small smirk, "You should try to get some rest, Lloyd. I know it's difficult, but you should attempt it at any rate."

"I..all right," Lloyd frowned again, slowly going back to his bedding, which was damp from the rain, but drying by the fire.

Wow, it was a miracle no one had woken-

He looked up and noticed the stares from his damp, very awake friends, staring at him from across the recovering fire.

Up…

"I apologize but I don't believe I'll be able to keep that secret now, Lloyd," Kratos said behind him.

**On the short side again, but I think the story flows better cut like this...we'll get into longer chapters as things become more…interesting x3 **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five, hurray! (dances) Enjoy if you will**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

"Raine, leave me alone!"

He snapped at the woman and scrambled away, breathing hard, poised to run again if any of them attempted at touching him again. The sun was already up, it'd been up for a while, and Lloyd was beginning to get irritated with the prodding and questioning of his companions, or Colette's quiet requests for them to leave him alone, Kratos' stern yet strangely comforting protests.

"We've established that whatever happened has passed," Kratos spoke again, his eyes narrowed on their intrigued and wary healer, "If it were to happen again then by now it obviously would have occurred, given how clearly flustered he is."

Lloyd shook a bit, recalling the earlier events when Kratos mentioned them once more. He stopped and swallowed, breathing deeply in an attempt to regain control of himself; for if he lost control again- if it did happen again- no, he couldn't bear it if he hurt anyone like this.

"…All right," Raine sighed, rubbing her face, "I suppose there is no point in trying to think about this now at any rate. We have no new data at all, other than speculation."

Lloyd finally relaxed, plopping down onto the ground and taking deep breathes, trying to ignore the exhaustion that had returned to bite at him.

"I suggest we take the day to rest," Kratos said, his eyes closed, "none of us have had enough sleep to assure that we will be able to fight proficiently."

Lloyd and all the others present stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"I- that's the last thing I'd figured I'd ever hear from you," Lloyd said quietly, wary.

If even Kratos was acting weird like this because of what was happening…

"Lloyd," Colette's voice came, as well as her hand on his shoulder, "Don't- don't worry okay? Don't think for a while, just get some sleep and we'll all be ready to help you when you're ready, okay?"

He looked up at her a long moment, taking in her concerned expression before sighing and hanging his head. Dammit this wasn't right, she was the one they were supposed to be worrying about, she was the one that was losing her humanity, she was the one that was sick…

But then…what was happening to him?

"Colette-"

She smiled gently and shushed him, helping him up and then leading him to his beddings. He wanted to protest but found himself too tired to do so, falling asleep the second his head had been laid back on the pillow.

It was either dusk or dawn when he woke again, the sun barely on the horizon. Though given the direction it was in, the east, it had to have been dawn. He'd slept that long? Why didn't anyone wake him- well then it's not like they were going to travel at night, so he supposed they had no real reason to want to wake him up.

"How did you sleep?"

He glanced to his side and saw Kratos, the two males looking at another in silence before Lloyd nodded.

"Okay," he said.

He did feel better, but that weird tingly feeling still hadn't left him yet. It was beginning to get annoying, but..not, at the same time. It was hard to explain.

"Very well," Kratos nodded, "We'll wake the others and head for the lake after breakfast."

That was that.

However on the way conversation inevitably turned to what had happened. Apparently they had been discussing it a lot while he had been asleep and had come up with several 'theories'. Two in particular, which were presented by Genis and Sheena respectively.

"Well Raine and I were thinking that maybe..well that was some kind of magic, right?" Genis eyed him. "So maybe you have some elven blood or something, because humans can't use magic so maybe…"

"Huh? But- Kratos can-" Lloyd frowned.

"It's likely I do have some elven blood somewhere down the line," Kratos stated, "all spellcasters must have had an elven ancestor at some point. Despite that, it matters little, while that could explain the elemental effects there is no known magic that can control plant-life or…result in what we witnessed a few days ago."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that," Sheena frowned, crossing her arms, "Maybe…since he saw Origin, maybe that was just some kind of summoning?"

"Summon- like you do?" Lloyd bit his lip, glancing warily at her.

"Well…yeah," she nodded.

"The form that..replaced you did have a staggering amount of mana," Raine frowned as well, furrowing her brow, "It was akin to Undine. That still raises the question, if that was a summoning, how did you summon without a pact and why would another spirit try to kill you for it?"

"I…I don't know, do we have to talk about this now?" Lloyd shook his head, his eyes going to the ground before his feet.

"We can theorize all we want but that is not going to assist us in any way," Kratos stated curtly, picking up his pace, "let's hurry on."

Lloyd wasn't quite sure why the man was on his side all of a sudden, but he was relieved for it. No one talked much as they approached the lake, though Colette and Gens made weak attempts to start conversation about something else it always somehow came back to what was happening to Lloyd, and the conversation fell apart shortly after that.

Could it be that he summoned something really? How he wasn't sure, but say that he did. If he did that'd make a lot of sense but…it…wouldn't at the same time. Still, nothing else seemed to be close so…

"Sheena?" he finally asked after several long minutes of travel.

"Yeah?"

"When you…summon, what does it feel like?" he asked, looking over to the kunoichi.

"Huh-? Well…" she closed her eyes, trying to find the words, "It feels like some great power different than myself comes surging out of my body…"

"Power in your body…" he muttered, furrowing his brow.

Did he feel power coming from his body? Yes, he felt that, when it happened. He felt an unbelievable power, an amazing strength, something invigorating and- and…but she said power different then themselves, right? That wasn't what he had felt at all, he hadn't felt as if there was something foreign using him, it felt like it…was him. As if that power had been locked up in a box and forgotten in the back of his closet, and he just found it again, opening it to be reminded of what he had always had..

"Lloyd? I said, why did you ask? Is that what it felt like?"

"What-? Oh…" he hesitated, looking at the summoner and the rest of the group.

It did, kind of, but it didn't as well. Should he tell them that? But he really didn't want to, they'd just start theorizing again, giving him those weird looks….

"Yeah," he said, "it was like that."

They started into conversation again but Lloyd tuned them out, lost in his own thoughts.

They arrived at the lake again, the lake where he had walked on the water's surface, right after all this had happened. He swallowed and subconsciously rubbed his chest where the hole had been; though there was no physical pain or feeling he winced a bit, remembered the pain when the creature's giant claw had stabbed him.

If that was some kind of summoning, how could it work when he was dead? Why would it use his body? And even more...why would he be able to do this stuff on his own?

"All right, now the Chosen shall go to see the unicorn." Kratos stated.

"What? Why can't we see it?" Lloyd blinked, curious.

"Only a pure maiden can approach the unicorn." He explained. "At the very least, you, Genis and I are out."

Oh…well that was kind of a downer. It would have been cool to see a unicorn. Well it didn't matter though, nothing he could do about it. So he waited, wondering how Colette and Sheena (Raine wouldn't go for some reason he didn't grasp) would get over there. Sheena poised to summon and then stopped, warily looking back at Lloyd.

"What?" he frowned.

"I- …should…you go away?" she hesitated. "I mean…I have to summon Undine and she tried to…."

He twitched.

Should he leave? What if she did try to kill him again? She- she hadn't before, she had stopped but was that just- should he go anyway?

"I...well you command her now right?" he hesitantly asked. "So it..should be okay right?"

The summoner hesitated a moment but then nodded, biting her lip.

"Well…if you're sure…"

He noticed how Kratos and Raine stood a little closer to him, despite it. Sheena closed her eyes and summoned the spirit, which turned her eyes on Lloyd immediately. Lloyd stiffened and when to draw his swords, the spirit merely turning from him.

"What is it you ask of me, Pactmaker?"

Sheena hesitated, unsure if things were really stable for the moment.

"I- take me and Colette to the unicorn." She said.

"As you wish."

The water from the lake surged under both girls' feet, pulling them out across the lake surface. Lloyd stifled a choke, his eyes widening as they skimmed across the water. He had done that- not quite like that, not as smooth, but he had traveled the water's surface, hadn't he? He glanced up at Undine, who hovered there, her back to him.

Should he ask? Could he, right now? She hadn't answered before but she didn't seem as tense as she did last time. Maybe he could ask her to explain, maybe she could tell him what was happening to him-

Then he felt it.

The teen let out a cry and clutched his head, shaking as cold sweat broke out on his skin. Panting he quickly glanced around, trying to find the source of his discomfort. Something felt…horrible, like- like he was a fire, getting smothered by water and dirt. Choking, stifling, being crushed out of existence-

It was on the lake. Something on the lake, something very- very…he didn't know how to explain it. Just that he felt it, something on the lake was- THERE and…it was..dying. A bright inferno of life smothering- dying. The unicorn was dying.

His friends crowded around him, he felt Raine try to heal him, seeking to ease the pain in his head. It didn't matter, it didn't help but it did not hurt. There was death. Something filled with energy and life was-

His body jerked, going still.

It had died.

He collapsed onto the ground, panting, closing his eyes as the pain in his head faded.

The same feeling. The same feeling when he hit the ground and woke up in that ethereal abyss. Death-

His eyes snapped open and he jerked upright, breathing again, sucking in the oxygen the quickest he could.

No- no he wasn't dead, but that was death he just felt. Again. He had just felt death and it- it was horrible. It was- no, he was alive. Here he was, breathing, his eyes darting round his friends, Colette and Sheena now among them. His heart was beating, their hearts were beating, they were all breathing-the trees were breathing- everything around was breathing pulsing; everything around him was alive.

The death had just been a passing occurrence…everything was alive again. He shuddered and closed his eyes, rubbing his face with his shaking hands. Then the image flashed in his head, the image of a newborn, gangly horse-like creature.

Then everything was calm again.

…**.Anyone listen to 'Two Steps from Hell'? The band? Their music is freaking epic. I can totally see scenes in this fic to their music lol.  
Enjoy? **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six 83 sklee**

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing**

"You saw a baby unicorn?"

He nodded, his eyes on the ground. His throat tightened and he managed to swallow, glancing up at them.

"I- at least…that's what it looked like. It had a bump on its head like a horn…and it looked like a horse and all…" hesitated, glancing nervously up at them.

"This doesn't make any sense." Sheen frowned, crossing her arms. "How- why would you see a baby unicorn-"

"By dying a new unicorn is born, that is why it is the symbol of death and rebirth." Raine interjected, scanning her eldest pupil. "Given that the unicorn that gave us its horn just died, a new unicorn was just born. Given Lloyd's reactions…"

She cut off, scanning him again, her brow furrowing deeply.

"…I felt it die." He said quietly, his head down, bangs obscuring his eyes. "I felt it die and then…then I saw it born."

They descended into silence again. Lloyd shook, his eyes closed, trying to make sense of the situation. Why? Why wouldn't things let up? He was so tired of this…he was exhausted just by thinking himself to death… He curled his knees to his chest, hugging his legs and burying his face into his knees like a child. If he did look like a child, he didn't care, he didn't care about anything anymore. He just wanted all of this to stop….

"The Tower of Mana is our next destination," Raine said flatly. "We should get ready to leave."

Lloyd flinched and looked up at her, eying her, uncertain. Why was she just letting this drop-?

"The Tower of Mana has the largest collection of data in the world, so they say." She looked at him. "If we keep stopping and discussing this every time something happens we're not going to make any progress. We'll search for information on what's happening to you there, as well as find the healing technique."

"No better option as of now," Kratos agreed with a brief nod.

Lloyd didn't say anything, just got to his feet. He looked around at his companions briefly before turning to look at the path.

"We need to worry about Colette more anyway," he said softly. "So let's go get that healing spell and get everyone taken care of, right?"

They murmured their agreement, but he was already walking away.

The Tower of Mana was surprisingly quiet for a place teeming with monsters, and dark for a Temple of Light, but nonetheless they traversed through it easily enough. Nothing weird had happened yet, and they hadn't looked through those books… They would though, he knew, but he was happy to have a few hours without thinking about…it. Nothing happened even at the altar when they fought the guardian, he was nearly about to relax-

When another spirit showed up.

His body tensed up immediately, thinking back to the way Undine had reacted when she had appeared. Another feminine spirit, a blonde woman sitting on a moon appeared before them. Her eyes scanned them quickly and to his horror locked on his brown ones.

"Cenon?" she said softly, her head tilted slightly.

"Ce- what?" he stiffened, staring up at her.

She promptly vanished.

"W- wait- what was- what's 'Cenon'?" Lloyd blurted, rushing forward. "Wait! What's going on-? Dammit! Come back-!"

And that was it. That was all that happened. Remiel came and gave his blessing, as he always did, and Colette landed. It wasn't until after she had that the collective silence turned to Lloyd, who was shaking again.

"…This is not a proper place for a discussion," Kratos said simply.

"Unless anyone knows what 'Cenon' is, then there isn't a point in discussing anything," Raine stated, closing her eyes.

And that as that. There was no more to be said, what was there that could be said, after all? They had a lead, at least, they searched for it in the many books, but they found nothing. There was nothing that could shed light on this, nothing that could help them. It soon was pushed aside for more urgent matters.

Colette's loss of her voice, the revelation of a second world, the connection between the two, the choice of damning one world for the salvation of the other. All of this and he still had no clue what was happening to him. When would it all stop? Was there anything more that he could possibly fit on his plate right now? It was a miracle he hadn't snapped yet as it was. How much longer could he take this…

After a moment he stood up, excusing himself quietly. He cast a look at Colette, once again feeling guilty that he wasn't able to stop this from happening to her, then walked away.

He didn't go far, that wasn't safe anyway, he knew that. That and he doubted that they would let him get too far as it was. The air around here smelled nice, he noted, clean and fresh… The night breeze swept past his cheek and he let out a sigh, allowing himself to relax again. Why did it feel so foreign just to feel relaxed nowadays? His eyes scanned the night sky, the bright moon, the shining stars. This world was in danger…another world was in danger, Colette caught in the middle of it all, and here he was feeling bad for himself.

"I'm such an idiot, Mom," he murmured, looking down at the gem in his hand. "I don't know what to do, I don't know what's going on, I can't seem to be able to do anything…"

The gem didn't answer, of course, since that was impossible. It gleamed a bit, sheening from the natural lights of the night, and somehow that made him feel a little better, he supposed, but…

"Lloyd."

He didn't bother turning. It was obvious who it was. Why was it that of all people it was that bastard mercenary that seemed to be the one who came to him when he was going through all this?

"Yeah?" he sighed, hearing the man walk up beside him.

"…Perhaps you should get some sleep," Kratos stated. "You're exhausted."

"So is Colette, but she can't even sleep," he muttered, face falling. "And I can't do anything about it…"

His fists clenched, teeth gritting.

"All this is happening and I can't do anything- I can't do a damn thing! I don't even know what's going on! I didn't know about the mana, or Tethe'alla, or anything! I don't even know what's happening to me! What the hell is 'Cenon' anyway?" he shouted, rounding on Kratos in his frustrated. "I don't know anything! I can't do anything! I'm so useless- dammit why am I so useless-?"

"Lloyd, calm down." Kratos frowned, putting his hand on Lloyd's shoulder.

"How can I calm down?" he shouted again, feeling the sting in his eyes warning him of oncoming tears.

Another gust of wind blew past, the sweet scent of night air tickling his nose. He choked a bit, feeling his eyes flutter, his fists falling limp. That smell…so sweet…everything was so nice.

"Lloyd?"

He was barely aware of his voice, the world seeming to fuzz over, coming in and out of focus. It didn't feel bad, though, it felt rather nice, comforting…

"Lloyd!"

"Wh- what?" he jerked, shaking his head. "Wh- what? S- Sorry I…I blanked."

Kratos' russet eyes scanned him, a look of concern on his usually stoic face. Lloyd fidgeted under his gaze, wary.

"Nevermind, are you feeling well?" Kratos asked, scanning him.

"What-? I- …" he blinked, looking around. "I- …yeah, actually."

Yeah. He felt fine. No not just fine, good, he felt really good. Like all his stress had just been sapped from him, like his entire body had suddenly been refreshed. What…happened? He looked around, as if something around him would tell him the answer, or be the source of this strange feeling.

"Are you certain?"

"I-…" he nodded, looking up at the man. "Yeah, I'm fine now….sorry. I just-"

"It's understandable," he nodded, then hesitated a bit, scanning him. "Lloyd-…"

"Yeah?"

He stiffened, finding Kratos' hand had settled on his shoulder. The two swordsmen met eyes, the younger fidgeting a bit, half nervous and half curious. Kratos looked down at him, frowning, hesitant, almost as if he wanted to say something, but was thinking it'd be a big mistake.

"…Kratos-?"

"Nevermind." The man turned away. "We should get back to camp so you can get some rest. We'll be heading for the final seal tomorrow."

The final seal….

Something had to give. He just didn't know what it was.

**Sorry it's short but again it seemed like a good point to stop. Especially since things are going to get pretty crazy next chapter. Figured I'd give you a moment to take a breath before the crap hits the fan.**

**Hope you liked **


	7. Chapter 7

**Well this should be fun X3**

**Yeah…..I guess I was excited about this so you get it quick. You're welcome. Lol.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

The Tower of Salvation.

They approached on the dragons, Sheena riding behind him as the beast ruffled and snorted under them, carrying them to their destination. There was a feeling on the wind that he didn't like…there was a churn to his stomach that told him nothing good was going to happen. He didn't like the feeling, as no one would, but he locked it away, hoping that somehow it'd disappear on its own.

He should have known better, really, seeing as that hadn't worked at all lately.

Colette and Kratos had gone ahead, so they were left chasing after them. They entered the tower onto a long translucent pathway, running across it before they realized something was there.

Lloyd's legs buckled.

"Gah-" he choked, his skin breaking out in sweat as he fell to his knees.

"Lloyd-? Lloyd what's wrong?"

That feeling again, that choking, smothering- death. That was it. He felt death. His eyes snapped open and he looked around, panicked, then spotted the objects swirling below them.

"Coffins," he choked, his eyes widening.

"What-?" Genis stared, the noticed where he looked. "Ah-! Wh- why are all these bodies here-?"

"They must be the Chosen that have failed up to this point…" Raine frowned. "Or…"

"W- We need to hurry," Lloyd coked, getting to his feet. "I- I can't let Colette end up down there."

He took a few shaky steps, then hurried off, racing to the transport at the end of the path, his friends close behind him.

Colette was already at the altar, her head bowed in prayer, Remiel above her overseeing her actions. That circle under her- it made his head hurt- something was dreadfully wrong here. He could feel it, he could feel something he couldn't quite describe, could feel …pain, could feel fear, could feel- Colette. Colette was afraid, Colette was in pain! What should he do- what could he do? He didn't eve know what was really going on, what he was feeling, what-

"Your heart and your memory, by giving them up of your own free will, you will become a true angel!"

"Her heart and…?" he repeated, his eyes widening.

"Colette's going to forget about us?" Genis choked up.

"Her human life will now end, and she'll be reborn as an angel," Raine stated solemnly.

"P- Professor, what are you talking about?" Lloyd asked, his voice barely coming out above a whisper.

"I'm sorry, she made me promise not to say anything…" Raine frowned. "Colette will give up her life to regenerate the world, becoming an angel…means dying."

Dying.

His eyes widened and all he could think of was that. Death. The claw piercing through his heart, falling to the ground, blood gushing from his body, the pain-

Death. Death- death!

No!

Before he even realized it he had run up to Colette on the altar, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Colette-!"

_It's okay, Lloyd, everytime I met Remiel I felt that…he was not my real father._

Her real father? What? When had they said that? Had he really missed that much in that brief moment of shock? Had it been more than a moment then? Now that he thought of it, yes…he had heard voices, questions, Remiel's cruel retort. It just all seemed so redundant, nothing mattered, the only thing that mattered was Colette, smiling at him while she was dying…

"Colette- Colette if you knew then why-"

_You can hear my voice? I'm so happy! I'll be able to say goodbye to you in the end…_

"Colette- no- don't' die- please don't die, I can't- I can't let you-"

_It's okay Lloyd…it's okay…._

"No- Colette it's not-" he shook his head, his entire body shaking along with him. "No Colette! Don't-"

_I'm sorry Lloyd…_

"No-! Colette-!"

_It looks like it's time…_

"Colette-!" he choked, reached for her as she began to hover out of his reach.

_Goodbye…_

This feeling. No. It wasn't death. But it was horrible, so horrible. It was like being alive and being dead at the same time, like being surrounded in death but being alive screaming that you wanted to live. He staggered, feeling his knees wobble, clutching at his chest as his breath began to elude him. No- stop it- make it stop- what was this-? MAKE IT STOP!

"The vessel is complete! Martel's vessel is finally complete!"

Laughter. Who was laughing? How dare they- how dare they laugh at something like this, how dare they laugh at a fate such as this, something worse than death, how dare they laugh….

"I have no further use for you! Be gone!"

"Lloyd!" he heard someone call.

He felt the heat approaching, saw the light zooming toward him from the angel's hand…

How dare he laugh.

The ball of light mana distorted and twisted, falling apart at the massive gust of wind that met it. Remiel scowled in anger and fear, his companions freezing in their tracks. Lloyd's fists clenched at his sides, turning his gaze onto the 'angel' that had done this horrid act.

"Monster," he hissed, his voice dropping an octave.

His rage ignited in his chest like a burst of flame, burning through his veins, engulfing his body. That feeling from before, the inferno in his being…

"HOW DARE YOU!" he roared, his voice shaking the platform.

Lightning cracked with the wind, the earth shaking beneath them. Remiel gasped, struggling to keep in the air as the wind buffeted him, and the boy before him began to writhe.

"Ah- ah!" he choked and gasped, clutching at his heart, his eyes shut tightly.

It hurt- it hurt- make it stop-!

His fingers dug into his skin, feeling his heart pound, the world getting blurry. He screamed, throwing his head back and then- just like that- cut off.

It stopped.

The pain…the pain was gone, but the burning was not. The rage was not, the power was not….

He exhaled slowly and lowered his head, the brown locks shifting to bright crimson, his body heightening and broadening, the white cloak and black armor appearing on his body. Slowly he opened his eyes, the milk white irises locking on the petrified Cruxian.

He was going to enjoy this.

"Wh- what- what are you-?" Remiel cried, going pale.

Lightning flashed, the wind whipping around, screaming in their ears. His eyes narrowed and he snapped casually, Remiel's right wing erupting into flame. The angel screeched in pain, floundering and falling onto the ground, unable to fly. The crimson locks flicked around his face, the cloak billowing behind him as he approached calmly, simple, slow steps.

"You found that amusing, did you?" he spoke, his voice low, booming despite its softness. "Depriving someone of their life when they are still alive?"

Remiel stammered, his eyes wide, petrified in fear as he tried to scramble back.

His hand closed around the angel's throat, lifting him up off the quaking ground.

"Because I didn't," he snapped, his eyes narrowed. "I didn't find that amusing at all…"

"N- No- please-!"

"Allow me to finish your life for you."

His eyes narrowed and the struggling peon choked, falling limp in his grip. The blonde's eyes stared, panic flicking in them as his skin began to shrivel up around him, his hair falling out, the feathers molting, the limbs falling useless as the bones reduced to nothing. The last flick of life evaporated from his eyes right when his body fell to dust on the ground, the wind wiping it away.

He felt no remorse.

"L- Lloyd-?"

He heard growling, Corrine, most likely; felt the stares, the horror…

"You need to change back, Lloyd."

The voice came, flat, final, calm… His milky eyes located the source quickly, as the wind and the quakes died around them. Kratos, standing there, looking down at him from the platform.

"He'll be here soon, if you're seen like this it will endanger you," the man said, his eyes misted somewhat.

"Kratos," he spoke simply, scanning him, then Colette. "…You were in on this."

"Hmph, very perceptive," Kratos stated, unfurling his wings behind him.

"W- what-? Kratos is-" Genis blurted.

"He's an angel too?" Sheena stared.

"You did this to her," he continued, the wind beginning to pick up again, blowing their hair back.

"When the Chosen merges with Martel the world will be saved, is that not what you all wanted? She knew this would happen, she allowed it, can you really place the blame on me?" he said curtly, but the cold tone did not match the hollow look in his eyes.

"You lied to us."

"You need to change back, Lloyd, and you need to leave, or you'll all be in danger."

"Don't you dare order me!"

He leapt up on the platform, striking at Kratos with his fist, which had been coated suddenly in a sharp piece of ice. Kratos quickly met it with his blade, shattering a bit of the ice but nicking his blade in turn.

"Your friends will die, Lloyd!" Kratos snapped, his russet eyes locked on his student's. "You need to leave!"

He choked.

Die- no- no, no more, he couldn't take anymore, no more death, no more horrid abominations near death…

"Lloyd," Kratos whispered, his expression softening as he bore into Lloyd's eyes. "Please…"

What- please? That look- that face- what was going on? He was mad- furious- he was furious with him! He would kill- no- no something wasn't right…he couldn't kill him…why? Why couldn't he- no. He couldn't.

He staggered back, feeling the weakness leeching back into his being. The shaking in his leg, the pain in his chest… What was going on? He didn't understand…

His knees hit the ground, the familiar dark fabric covering them, the red jacket and suspenders on his torso. Lloyd gasped and clutched at his heart, doubled over, trying to reclaim his breath.

"You- you bastard-" he choked, attempting to get back on his feet. "You lied- you lied to us- it was all a lie! All of it was a big lie! Give her back!"

"Leave, Lloyd-"

He let out a cry, drawing his blade and charging the man again, only to get knocked back again. Kratos went to speak, to warn him again, to beg him to flee, but it was too late. In a flurry of light and feathers Yggdrasill appeared, looking down with disdain at those assembled.

"Lord Yggdrasill…."

Kratos bowed down to him and Lloyd shook, attempting to get to his feet, attempting to come to grips with what was happening. 'Lord'- this was their leader. This was the guy that had been behind all this, that had done this to Colette-

"Are you Lloyd?"

He tried to speak, tried to retort, but he couldn't find his voice. Couldn't find it in him to speak, the heart-wrenching feeling still hadn't subsided….

"G- So what if I am?" he snapped, though his voice didn't come out nearly as brave as he wanted.

"Are you afraid, boy?" Yggdrasill smirked down at him. "Good, you should be."

"Give her back…" he choked.

"What was that? I didn't hear you."

"Give her back you bastard!" he roared, charging at the angel, who merely smacked him into the nearby pillar.

Everything blacked out.

* * *

He was there again. In that emptiness, his feet in the shallow 'water' as it shifted and rippled beneath him. No- no, was he dead again? Had he died for real this time? Had he even really …died the first time?

"No…" he whispered, his voice echoing of the infinite abyss. "I can't …"

Colette…his friends..he had to get back. He had to save them, he had to save Colette from that…that…hell that had befallen her. There was nothing to see, nothing to do here….what could he do? What was he supposed to do?

He sighed and turned again, choking as he saw his reflection in the water once more. The white eyes, the red hair, the cloak, the armor…. Lloyd shook, backing up a step, the water distorting again under his feet. It rippled and waved, blurred, then slowly set back into clarity, showing the reflection- his reflection. He let out a deep sigh of relief, seeing the brown-haired, brown-eyed reflection looking back at him. That was better…that was what he was supposed to see-

Wait…

He choked, looking at his arms, the white sleeves, the dark gauntlets, the too large hands.

No-!

NO-!

* * *

"Lloyd!"

He jerked upright, panting, looking around his surroundings rapidly. Where was he? It- it didn't look like the tower- it wasn't. Okay..okay…he was alive, his friends were here, they were alive….

He shuddered and buried his face in his hands, rubbing it.

Okay…okay…calm down…

"Lloyd, are you okay?" Genis asked.

"I- y- yeah," he nodded, swallowing. "I'm fine…

The teen took a few deep breathes and then look up , scanning his companions. Yes…everyone seemed fine-

"W- where's Colette?" he blurted, whipping his head around.

They parted, allowing him to see the unresponsive maiden as she stared into nothingness. He leapt to his feet and rushed to her.

"Colette-!"

"She doesn't respond to anything we say…"

No…

"Colette…I'm going to save you…okay?" he whispered, his hands on her shoulders. "I'm going to get you back…"

He felt a jolt in his heart. Somehow then...he knew that she heard him.

How many times could his entire world fall apart….?

**Yeah…..…I plead insanity? Or did I say that already…whatever, hope you liked **

**Review if you want please! It makes me a happy bunny n.n**


	8. Chapter 8

**Listening to 'Injection' by Rise Against I dunno why but it made me have to write this…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**IMPORTANT NOTE: My good friend Symphoniafan drew 'the guy Lloyd turns into'. The link can be found on my profile under 'Cenon'. It looks badass so give it a looksee :P**

"Wait! You tried to kill Colette and me!"

His teeth were gritted, trying to ignore the horrible suffocating feeling that came whenever he noticed his soulless childhood friend. The man that had called himself Yuan raised an eyebrow, a slow smirk coming to his face.

"You're not as stupid as you seem-"

"Don't you dare smirk at me!" he snapped, surprising even himself at the sudden power behind his voice. "You murdered the priests in Iselia! You tried to murder us!"

"'Murder'? …Hm…" the man seemed to think a moment, frowning. "Yes, I suppose that is the right word-"

"How DARE YOU?" he roared, all present jumping from the sound of his voice. "You think you have the right to just kill someone- you- you slimy bastard-"

"You kill people too, Lloyd." Yuan cut flatly, eyes narrowed on him. "You kill Desians, you kill-"

"They murdered others! There's a difference between killing to protect yourself and MURDERING!"

"Lloyd- calm down-" Raine began.

The air pulsed, like it had in the tower before…it had happened. The group instantly stepped back from their companion. They hadn't even gotten to discuss what had transpired with him earlier, not before the one known as Yuan had intervened. The Renegades, unsure of what was happening, eyed each other warily, Botta and Yuan tensing up.

"What-?" Yuan stared.

"You have NO RIGHT TO DO THAT!" Lloyd roared, slamming his foot into the ground.

"C- Calm down- Lloyd- don't- stop-!" Genis stammered, the color bleeding from his already fair face.

He was angry. Well of course he was angry, but …but he was far more angry than he should be. Of course he was angry and suspicious of this man, angry about the Temple, but this felt so much more than that. The idea that this man would just kill people for his goals- it- it was driving him crazy- driving him nuts- how dare he-

The pulse again, rippling through his body, the sparking feeling in his body- again- again-

No wait-

NO!

Lloyd choked and fell on his knees, breathing hard and clutching his heart. He heard their reactions, but nothing mattered at the moment, just breathing. Deep breathes, slow, control…keep…keep in control. After a second he pushed himself back up, panting, his eyes refocusing on the scene. All eyes were on him, and in the pit of his being he knew they had all felt that pulse just like he had.

"Sir- what…?" Botta asked, eying his commander.

"That mana….that's not possible. Botta, you said the boy wasn't a summoner."

"H- he isn't, Sir, the data is accurate, he doesn't have any summoning capabilities-"

Lloyd's eyes widened.

"Wait- you- you know what this is? You know what's going on with me?"

Yuan scanned him intently, his expression a mix between skepticism and brewing suspicion. Lloyd fidgeted, anxious, desperate to know more yet at the same time not quite certain he was going to learn anything from him at all.

"Do you know what a Summon Spirit is, Lloyd?" he asked, eying him.

"I- yeah, Sheena has a pact with-" He cut off, frowning, remembering the Maiden of the Mist's narrowed red eyes, trying to crush him under a torrent of water.

He hesitated, glancing back at his friends, who eyed him and then the Renegades. What should they say? They couldn't trust these guys, but…

"…Hm," Yuan muttered to himself, frowning deeply. "Then…he had been quite fond of him…"

"What? He? What are you talking about?"

"It hardly matters," Yuan snapped, though his eyes didn't leave the interesting new case before him. "Look, do you want to know what our reasons were for attempting to kill the Chosen or not?"

"You-" Lloyd began, gritting his teeth.

"Lloyd, calm down," Raine said, gently touching his shoulder. "We need whatever information we can get…."

"Yes, you do," Yuan said curtly, surprising them all, as Raine had spoken softly. "If you stay calm and reasonable throughout this, I'll even tell you what I know about that pulse of mana."

Lloyd didn't even get a chance to speak before Raine agreed.

He fidgeted through the discussion, tense, angry, fearful; however it seemed everyone else in the room was the same way. Even Yuan, despite masking his expression with irritation, gave away in his eyes that something was putting him very on edge.

"The circumstances have changed, however," Yuan finished, eying Lloyd. "We no longer need to take the Chosen's life, or any of yours…given that you cooperate."

Lloyd felt another surge of anger but was cut off quickly.

"And what is it you want us to 'cooperate' with?" Raine interjected, her eyes narrowed.

Yuan was silent a long moment.

Then out of nowhere several guards rushed in, knocking them off their feet and pulling Lloyd's arms behind his back.

"Wh-? Let me go! Damn –"

"Knock him out! Quick! Don't give him time to-"

The guards holding Lloyd let out a cry, as where they touched the teen's arm suddenly coated in sharp sheets of ice. They howled and drew back, large shrapnel sticking straight through their hands. Lloyd was just as shocked by the turn of events but found himself quickly breaking free and then to his own amazement brought his leg up and kicked the nearest grunt in the head, knocking him into the wall. Another tried to grab him and he easily ducked under, ice shooting up and encasing the man's legs.

"Damn it, get him!" Yuan roared, and a crack of electricity was heard.

Sheena had taken advantage of the distraction as well, knocking out a guard on her own, opening a path for them. They rushed through the door together and Sheena turned, about to summon Corrine to hold them off. She barely began to open her mouth when another wall of ice jutted up around the door, sealing the Renegades inside.

"How the-?"

"That won't hold them very long! Go!" Raine snapped, already dragging Genis along with her.

Lloyd stared dumbly at the wall, his eyes wide. Ice- first roots and – no wait- yes! Ice! There had been ice- earlier- with Kratos-

"Lloyd what are you doing? We need to go!"

Sheena grabbed his wrist and he stumbled after her, quickly following along with the group. His mind was blank, but he knew that they had to run, that distance had to be put between them. The numbness didn't last long, though, and his thoughts were soon overrun with what had just happened. Too much was happening. Too much- all this- the journey, the worlds, Colette, Kratos-

Kratos.

Lloyd choked, stumbling and nearly slamming into the wall as they rounded a corner, gasping for breath as his knees began to shake.

"Lloyd-! Lloyd-"

He gasped for air, his eyes wide, the brown irises pushing back into rings as his pupil dissolved into whites-

He was on the ground, on the ground looking up, Kratos' back to him. Kratos was saying something- someone was in front of him, he couldn't see. It hurt- why did he hurt- he reached out and grabbed his arm-

A sudden smack to the face brought him back to reality.

"Gah-!"

"Snap out of it, Lloyd! This is not a good time!"

"I- I- what?" he shook, holding his cheek, as he stared at them.

"Well the situation isn't any good at all," Raine said, frowning deeply. "There are too many things we don't have answers for and the only one who could give us said answers just tried to have us killed. That is…"

Her gaze drifted to Lloyd, as were the gazes of the other two. Lloyd shook, staring at them, then at Colette.

"He- he…summon spirits, he said it had something to do with-"

"We knew that much already," Raine sighed, rubbing her face. "…Sheena, where did you get your exsphere?"

"Huh-? Well that's a little weird to talk about right now isn't it-?"

"The only thing we know for sure we can do right now is help Colette," Raine said, looking at the blonde. "He said her state is caused by the Cruxis Crystal, which is an evolved form of exsphere…"

"Oh! I get it!" Genis said.

"They do exsphere research where I got this, yeah," Sheena nodded, catching on as well. "But that was in Tethe'alla- …they study summon spirits there too."

Lloyd tweaked and they looked at him, the teen swallowing before nodding.

"O- Okay! Tethe'alla then! We need to go to Tethe'alla- so how do we get there?"

There were too many things they didn't know, too many questions, too much…but…but right now they had to save Colette. That was what he had to focus on, helping Colette, everything else…there was no point in worrying about it right now. He would take this one step at a time…

Besides….in Tethe'alla they wouldn't only find out how to save Colette, but he could finally find out just what was happening to him.

They found the rheairds quickly, the machines that would transport them, and Raine just as quickly hacked the system which allowed them to take off. The controls were…new, to say the least, but they weren't that hard to figure out thanks to their simple design. Even entering the other world itself went smoothly, it didn't feel much different from using a warp in one of the temples. Of course, the sudden plunge to the ground wasn't exactly something they had planned for but they managed to land easily enough.

"Is everyone okay?" Lloyd asked, not yet on his feet as he scanned the others.

"Yeah…I'm fine, just a couple scratches," Sheena commented.

"Me too," Genis agreed.

"Good-" Lloyd said as he finally got to his feet.

Then he felt a sensation he could most relate to being smacked in the side of the head with a load of bricks.

He reeled and staggered, leaning against a rock on the summit. Ow! His head- what was wrong with his head? Did he hit it? That's what the others must have thought too, seeing as he heard Raine cast First Aid on him not a minute later-

Surprisingly, that didn't help- in fact he would even say that it made it …worse.

He groaned and clutched his head, feeling a pulsing throb. It didn't…hurt, persay, not like if you actually hit your head, but it felt like….like…some kind of…pressure…

It was this world. Something about this world was- was-

His eyes snapped open, breathing in sharply.

It was amazing. Like the feeling at the lake, the feeling he had gotten sometimes at camp, the feeling of every creature on the earth crawling and hunting and breathing. Every plant, every animal, every single thing- like the unicorn- like- life.

It was everything …not like death- no, no…like death. There was death. Death in it, but that death didn't seem to just…run into the abyss. Death but then that death would fuel life for what had killed it…It was confusing, conflicting, but…but…so…good. There was just so much…more, of it here. There was so much more, so much that it had knocked him silly. Why? Why was it this place had so much more-

Mana.

It popped into his head, and he wasn't sure how he knew, but he did. The pulsing in his head wasn't just the sense of the..the world, he had just experienced. It was mana.

And it felt surprisingly good.

…**(dances around) heee hee hee…**

**Review? n.n**


	9. Chapter 9

**I forget what chapter this is..nine? Meh doesn't matter.**

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing.**

Not all of it was mana, it turned out.

When he explained it to them, Raine and Genis had agreed that yes, he was sensing mana. However, he was sensing…more than mana. They could sense the energy like he did, they could sense it but it was so much more…vague, than what he felt. They could sense like…bundles, of mana, here and there, they could distinguish what it was if they focused on it, they told him. They could channel the mana around them for spells, that's how they did it, there were different types of mana. He could feel that too; but…there was so much more. He could feel it, the mana in the beings around them, but he could feel…what it was, if it was sick or healthy, how old it was, how big it was, how strong it was…. Then it got so much..deeper, even. There were…'bonds' between all of them, between the plants and animals and tiny…tiny…'life' in the ground, in the water, in the air. So much of it, everywhere, interacting, breathing, fighting, dying, eating…

It was overwhelming.

This new sensation made it hard for him to concentrate on almost anything as they made their way to the kingdom capital of Meltokio, at least that's what he had been sure Sheena had called it. He couldn't help but 'sense' everything he could detect. Discover what it was, where it was. Twice he had stopped the group, having sensed a group of monsters before they arrived. It went without saying that the entire group was shocked, of course…

"It seems to be a more advanced form of mana detection…" Raine had mused to herself, eying him. "That…other, form you take is incredibly concentrated with mana, we can assume then that last time you…changed, it triggered this sense…"

"Yeah, gee," Lloyd muttered dryly, glancing aside. "I never would have guessed it had something to do with that again."

Raine sighed and attempted to shake him from his thoughts, going on with her theories, but he was no longer listening to her. His attention was focused on the world around him, on the chipmunk crawling into its den a few feet under that old oak, on the hawk that had spotted it from the sky and was circling in hopes it'd reemerge.

"Lloyd!"

"Uh- what?" he said, looking at her again.

Something in his face must have unnerved her, for she demanded sharply that they hurry to the city. Lloyd said nothing, nodding his head. If hurrying would make her leave him alone, he was more than happy to cooperate…

The sense did not fade, but it did change. As they left the wilds and continued on the path he found it was …softened, but it by did no means disappear. He found himself almost able to focus again, that was until they approached the gates.

Then it reared back up with a vengeance.

Yes, it was different…very different, but not …different. The life felt the same, but it was just so…so much, so much all in one place. So many, every man, woman and child breathing and walking, hearts pumping, laughing, weeping, eating, sleeping, on and on and on-

"Lloyd!"

This time his name was accompanied by a smack to the face.

"Ugh-!" he shook his head, clutching his cheek. "What-?"

"Lloyd. Listen to me. Do you hear me?" Raine said, locking eyes with him. "You can't keep dazing off like this, I understand it must be…a lot for your right now, but we have a job to do."

A job? What –

Then it hit him. Colette. They were here to help Colette.

He felt ashamed suddenly. How could he forget about that? Okay, okay shake it off, get control of yourself, Lloyd. That's what he told himself, straining himself to start focusing on what his eyes saw, what his ears heard.

"Okay..okay." He nodded. "I'm good, I'm fine."

Raine eyed him a moment but then nodded.

"I…I know this is a bad time to leave but I'm afraid I gotta go." Sheena frowned, rubbing the back of her neck.

"You're…leaving?"

Corrine had appeared on her shoulder, glaring at him. Lloyd stiffened a bit and for a moment wondered if he'd prefer it if they left, but he didn't want to say goodbye to their friend, especially after all that had just happened. It was bad enough Kratos had left and Colette had…left, as well, he was starting to feel like everyone was…falling away. Like he himself was falling apart…

"Lloyd!" Raine smacked him again.

"Ow-! Oh- I'm fine! Really!" he said, flustered. "I just spaced- …are you sure you have to go?"

"Yeah…" Sheena frowned, nodding as she scanned them all. "I was sent to kill Colette, remember? I have to return to the chief and report my failure…"

"Oh, well…maybe we'll see you again?" Genis asked.

"Yeah, maybe, maybe not…" the ninja shrugged. "Good luck with everything, guys, and I'm sorry about Corrine's behavior."

Corrine hissed at Lloyd then huffed, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Thanks, Sheena," Lloyd said, his voice strangely quiet. "You- good luck to you too."

Sheena eyed him and for a moment she hesitated, but ultimately said her farewell and left them.

It took Lloyd a serious amount of effort to keep his mind together as they went through the city. Every tiny little thing was distracting, wholly interesting when it shouldn't attract his attention at all. He broke from his fog only when they encountered some man and several women, he seemed to snap back to his sense only enough to defend Colette and realize the man had an exsphere. Right after that, though, it seemed as if he wasn't sure it had happened at all, the chaotic fog descending upon him again. Frequently Raine and Genis had to remind him where he was, and he had to put every bit of his concentration into keeping 'there' when they met with the king. Then there was…Presea.

She at once nearly made him reel and at the same time he almost couldn't…sense her. He couldn't focus on her, see her, register her. There was a flash when he met her, of that horrifying dead-alive feelings that he felt about Colette- but then it was …'gone'. Come to think of it, Colette was 'gone' too. He could feel everything and everyone else around him, but for both of them…it was faint, sporadic, barely there. Like the life within them was clawing desperately to get out but just couldn't seem to manage. In the flood of the incessant 'noise' he barely could notice them at all…

He drifted in and out of this fog, in and out of his dreamlike haze, frequently brought back for a moment by the two half-elves with him. It wasn't until they entered the Crimson Room of the palace did something finally snap him from his entrancement.

He staggered, choking and nearly falling to the floor. The teen staggered back against the walls, panting, his skin gone cold with the outbreak of sweat.

Death.

This room- this room reeked of it. He couldn't smell anything, not really, but he didn't have to smell it. He could feel it, like thousands of needles stabbing at his heart. Silent screams and groans of agony as life fled from people killed for nothing else but the convenience of other people. There was no defense as an excuse, just murder of unarmed…

That was it. The Crimson Room, red, it was red, all of it was red…. That was why. This was where they kept people in case they had to kill them. Red, so the blood would not stain…

"Lloyd-!"

"They're going to kill us." He choked, swallowing. "They're going to kill us-"

"Lloyd, calm down!"

He didn't know when it happened but Raine had forced him to sit down and it seemed she was about to smack him again-

Lloyd caught her wrist.

"They're going to kill us, that's why this room is red, they use it to-"

"I already figured that out," Raine replied with a frown.

Lloyd flinched, staring at her, then at Genis and the two unresponsive girls. He panted, feeling the fog in his mind clear, the world suddenly coming into focus again.

"You…"

"They will see Colette as a threat," Raine explained with a purse of her lips. "An obstacle for Tethe'alla's prosperity…"

Lloyd took a deep breath, rubbing his face, trying to calm his shaking body. Okay…okay, he was 'awake' now, right? Yes, he was, this was real… He had to tell himself to calm down, to think, to keep his mind here.

"So- so what do we do?" he asked Raine, pale.

The half-elven teacher nearly looked relieved, seeing her student back to 'himself', but she focused on the matter at hand.

They didn't get much long to consider, though, because they had visitors not a few minutes after. So soon? How- how long had he been out like that? When he staggered, how long had he been in that daze before he finally snapped to reality?

Dammit what was happening to him….

"His majesty has read the letter," the pope stated.

"And?" Raine asked, frowning.

"You want to use Tethe'allan technology to save the Chosen from your side, right?" Zelos asked-

Zelos. Yes, that was his name, Zelos. The man they had run into earlier, the Chosen from this world…

"Y- Yeah," he spoke despite his..recognition. "Can you help us?"

"If our Chosen does not become an angel then Tethe'alla will not be threatened," Raine stated, eying the group. "Surely you can see that?"

"But if she lives our world is at risk! Kill her! Now!"

The guards didn't hesitate at all, zeroing in on Colette. Lloyd choked, leaping to his feet.

"Wait-!"

His concerns were unfounded. They hadn't left a scratch on her. A quick exhale of relief escaped him, feeling his heart pumping in his chest. Raine quickly went on to 'barter' their case to Zelos and the pope, and Lloyd found himself unable to contribute anything to the conversation. His head was beginning to fog again…

No! No, shake it off. Stay …here, 'here', where he was supposed to be. It didn't matter what was going on somewhere else, he was here, he needed to be here with his friends, he needed to be here with his own self.

Needed-

_"How many times have I told you to keep your guard up?"_

"_Aw, come on Master, don't be so strict on me, I'm just a kid after all…"_

"_I should've left you where we found you."_

"_But you need me, you want to find Cenon don't you?"_

"_Hmph…"_

"_It still astounds me someone still believes in him…"_

"_And?"_

"_You're a bit weird."_

"_Maybe I am."_

He shook his head. W- what the hell was-? Wait- where did they go! What just happened? Where-

"Lloyd, did you space out again?" Genis asked, concern and fear in his large blue eyes.

"Uh- No, no I didn't," he lied quickly, scanning the room.

"Well we're supposed to meet Zelos at the cathedral, are you ready to go?" Raine asked.

He had the distinct feeling that Raine knew very well he had lied, but decided against accusing him of such for the time being. Why? Why? Well, wasn't that just the question for everything, now? Everything was why, why why why. Why did Colette end up like this, why was Cruxis doing what it was doing, why had Kratos betrayed them, why was he…

Just…why…

Desperately he tried to distract himself from what had occurred, while distracting himself from the countless…distractions.

"Y- yeah, I'm ready to go." He nodded. "So let's go to the church."

"Are you sure you're all right?" Genis asked, shifting his weight onto his other leg, nervous.

"Yeah," he lied again. "Okay, let's go."

Go they did. The church was right next door anyway, and even if they hadn't been there before it wasn't exactly hard to miss. It was a very beautiful building, despite its worship of Cruxis…

He sat down, suddenly very weary. The world had come back into focus, and a splitting headache was beginning to replace the haze.

Zelos didn't take too long. He was grateful for that, he wasn't sure how much more he would have been able to take…

….That…the voices he had heard earlier…what was that?

_"By the way, Master…why DO you still believe in Cenon?"_

"…_My mother. She would always tell me…about him."_

"_Really? Huh, that's odd…you didn't think your mother was just nuts?"_

"_No. I did not."_

"_Why is that?"_

"…"

"_Well?"_

"_I have seen….too much proof…"_

Lloyd jerked upright, gasping. It hurt…what...where was he-? His head spun with voices, with sounds-

NO! No…no…

He buried his face into the pillow, his eyes closed tightly. Where was he again-? Oh, right…the inn. That's where he was, after they had gotten ready for their trip to…Sybak, right? Yeah. They stayed at the inn for the night, because it was already late…

He tried to go to sleep, but he found himself entirely unable to. All he managed to do was squeeze his eyes shut, stubbornly trying to avoid consciousness. It would be so simpler that way, it'd give him a few more hours of things being easy… The teen tossed for an hour or so to no avail, groaning and flopping onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

Was he going insane? Was that what was happening? Even if everything before the tower was real, just today, as…out of it as he was. He didn't even…remember most of it.

The thought chilled him, his blood running cold. Okay- okay…no, think, yeah…he did remember, didn't he? He closed his eyes, trying to collect his scattered thoughts. He remembered…Sheena leaving, at the gate…and Zelos and those girls- Yes. That's right. Those girls…the ones that had insulted Colette, and he had defended her. Then Colette threw Zelos in the air…

Then Presea. Yeah, Presea. The pink haired girl they asked to carry the Sacred Wood with so they could get into the castle- wait, why were they going into the castle again-? Oh! Right. Sheena's letter…Sheena had given them a letter? Wait- he didn't remember….no, he didn't remember , he remember going to deliver the letter, and the king reading the letter, but he didn't remember Sheena giving it to them.

Then …the room…the red room. That's when…things started clearing up again. It was all clear, while they were in there, but after that…it had…hazed again. And the voices-

…Voices.

He was having memory problems and hearing voices.

He WAS going insane.

Lloyd sat up, holding his head in his hands as the cool night air hit his bare arms. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to help Colette and keep his friends alive if he wasn't even right in his own head? There were things he flat out couldn't remember when he was there! Like- …someone, there had been someone right inside the city…something about a dog…and Colette being 'violent'. He groaned, shaking his head.

Suddenly the walls felt too close, the room suffocating. He made his decision instantly, grabbing his jacket and slipping outside into the dead night. The city was not bereft of activity, no, but he wanted to avoid that. Silence, nice silence and darkness would be nice…someplace quiet where he could think.

Eventually he found himself at the public park, the flowers and trees ruffling ever so slightly in the night breeze. He stopped before it, his throat seizing up. They ..they were buzzing too, they were humming with the life that had haunted him all day- but…but this was different. This was softer, peaceful nearly… It felt much better, then the hard stone around him and the people up late for whatever reason. Restless, as he was, maybe…

He walked into the park, seating himself on a bench in the darkness, the glow of the streetlamps dimly illuminating the area. Lloyd sighed, taking a deep breath and letting his head droop, breathing in the cool air…

Voices…a boy, and someone he addressed as 'Master'…and- and yes. There had been something about- ..Cenon. Cenon, the …whatever it was, Luna had mentioned. What was Cenon, anyway? …'Him'. The guy called 'Master' had said Cenon was a person, a 'him'. But that didn't- wait, was that it then? The person he became? Was that 'Cenon'? …That didn't help much, who or what was 'Cenon', anyway? A name and a ..form, was not nearly enough information. It didn't explain what was happening to him, it didn't explain why he had become 'Cenon' to being with.

"Lloyd."

His eyes snapped open, his head whipping around toward the source of the voice. What- why- it couldn't be-

It was.

His eyes widened, staring in shock at the traitor Kratos. His purple garb had been replaced with some intricate white outfit, and it had thrown him off for just a moment to see the mercenary without his usual purple coloration, but there was no mistaking it. It was Kratos, the traitor, standing right there by the bench with a frown on his face.

"W- What are you doing here?" Lloyd snapped, jerking to his feet, backing up. "You- are you after Colette-?"

"No," Kratos answered softly, his eyes not leaving the teen.

Lloyd hesitated. There was something in that look, something in that look that chilled him more than the idea of his failing sanity had. There was…concern, and something even more unnerving to come from the traitor Seraph that he couldn't quite place.

"Wh- what do you want then?" he snapped, hands on the hilts of his swords.

"…I came to check on you."

"Check on me-?" Lloyd scowled. "Oh so you can turn around and tell Yggdrasill everything? That's your job, isn't it?"

"No. I came because I was concerned for you."

He said it so finally, so flatly, that Lloyd couldn't even find the belief in himself to doubt the man. His…enemy was concerned for him? Oh hell, he really had hit rock bottom, if traitors even cared enough to worry about him going insane…

"Leave me alone," Lloyd hissed, trying to ignore the shaking in his legs. "I- I-"

Kratos frowned, taking a step toward him.

"Lloyd, you're unwell, you should go back to the inn-"

"Shut up! Leave me alone!"

Lloyd tried to rush past him, brushing the man's arm in passing. As he did so his eyes widened, his body freezing in mid-step, causing him to stagger to the floor. Kratos called his name but he was already fading from the world. That touch, just a simple brush, and he had felt it. Mana, so much mana, overwhelming mana and even more- years. It didn't make sense, and he didn't have time to process, but there were years. So many, endless, countless years, pulsing with mana, so much- so much-

He hit the dirt and did not regain consciousness when Kratos carried him off.

(AN: Well I hope you enjoyed, I know the chapter was pretty bewildering but that was knda the point :P Lloydie is having a hard time, heh heh...review if you wish)


	10. Chapter 10

**All riiiiiight chapter ten 8D! And a hundred revs! Nice ;)**

**Shortish chapter, sadly, but again seemed like the appropriate place to stop it. I 'tsmainly talking and all but the fluff and angst abounds (as does the foreshadowing) so I hope you liked I'll try to get some more writing done, but end of the semester is crazy busy, and finals are coming up soon so….yeah. Hope you enjoy though**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Voices rang in his head. Some were familiar, some were not, and some were just on the verge between familiar and obscure. He couldn't make sense of them, there were too many, too many…

Then the boy's voice again. The same boy he heard before….

His eyes opened, and he found himself sitting upon a rock in a vast field of greenery, the sun shining warmly down upon his tanned flesh. Wait- what? Was he dreaming? This wasn't…

"I just find it funny, is all," he said, though he did not recall giving his body the order to say it. "No one believes in stuff like that anymore, except for the elves."

"Hmph…"

Kratos was standing to the side, donned in the white garb he had seen him in earlier. The Seraph was looking off into the horizon, his brow furrowed in thought.

"My mother was often ridiculed for believing such, this is true," Kratos said, not looking. "She told me that once she wasn't sure of it either…"

"But?"

"…She says she met him."

"Oh….really…" he frowned.

"We've had enough chit chat as it stands anyway." Kratos shook his head, turning to face him. "Break time is over. Take your stance."

"Oh come on, Master, it's only been five minutes…"

"You were the one that insisted on more training, don't complain."

"You're harsh."

Kratos said something, but he couldn't understand what he said. He frowned, shaking his head, trying to focus on the man.

"What…?"

"Lloyd…"

His eyes opened, this time into the waking world.

The room was dimly lit, a lamp on by the bed which he lay on. He felt a damp cloth on his forehead, and covers pulled up around his shoulders. His mind was fuzzy, then he sensed sharply the vast amount of mana to his side, the staggering amount of years…

"Good, you're awake," his voice came softly. "Drink this, it'll help."

As dazed as he was, he couldn't even formulate a legitimate reply, nor protest. He simply allowed his head to be lifted, Kratos pouring in the fluid from the cup. It was some kind of tea he thought, it wasn't bitter enough to be medicine.

His head was reeling, but surprisingly the world was becoming to come into focus. Slowly but surely the world around him began to make sense and he felt Kratos' palm supporting the back of his head, the cool glass against his lips. He grimaced, blinking a few times then scanning the room tiredly, taking it in. Some room at the inn- one of the fancier ones by the looks of it. It figured, Kratos was pretty…what was the word…Raine used it once-…classy. He'd go with that, until he could ask her himself.

"…Feel better?" Kratos asked, his voice oddly gentle.

"I…" He blinked, nodding. "What…was that?"

"It's a suppressant," Kratos stated, pulling back the cup. "It'll temporarily subdue your mana sense….that is, it'll make it easier to handle until you get your wits about you."

It didn't really make sense, but it kinda did- wait, what? Subdue…

His eyes widened.

He knew. He knew he could sense mana.

"I- how did you-?" Lloyd's eyes widened.

Slowly, like a bud beginning to bloom, his mind began to function again. He wasn't with his friends, he was alone, somewhere he didn't know, at the mercy of the traitor Cruxian angel.

"If I intended to harm you I would have done so already," Kratos said, as if reading his thoughts. "And I do not intend to keep you prisoner. As soon as you are well you will be free to return to your friends."

He wanted to snap at him, to call him a liar, call him out- ..but he didn't. For some reason h couldn't bring himself to think Kratos was lying, at least, not about that. Something in him told him that Kratos was telling the truth, and that it was best if he let him handle things for a while…

"Why did you- why didn't you? Why didn't you kill me?" Lloyd frowned, glancing aside. "I mean I was helpless, you could have just killed me."

Kratos didn't answer, and a tightening in his chest choked a bitter laugh from his body, shaking his brown-haired head. The Seraph eyed him and Lloyd brought a hand to his chest, a twisted, sad smile on his face.

"But then…maybe you can't," he muttered, his bangs obstructing his eyes. "I mean…killing me didn't work the first time did it?"

His fingers dug into his shirt, over the wound that no longer existed.

"And…well, Remiel tried to kill me too."

The smile distorted into a crooked smirk, his eyes closed.

"And-" Another harsh laugh escaped him, his body shaking. "Well, gee, guess you saw that too. Is that it? You didn't try to kill me because you- you didn't want-"

More laughter, shaking his head, his eyes squeezed shut. Just the darkness, the hand on his chest, the laugh that scratched his throat like sandpaper and the stinging in his eyes.

"Lloyd-"

"You didn't want to end up dust either?" Lloyd blurted, shaking as he brought his hands up to grip his head, still laughing.

Kratos tried to put a hand on his shoulder, Lloyd jerked away.

"Don't touch me! Do you remember the last time you tried to touch me?" Lloyd snapped his eyes flicking, flaming to Kratos' face.

Outside the wind beat hard against the glass, the fire beginning to flare up. Lloyd stiffened, noting both of them, then crying out again.

"Th- that! Stuff like that! Why- Why do these things happen? I- why- what's going on- what am I?" he shouted, shaking his head. "What am I- I'm not human, am I? I can't be! I'm not an elf or anything either- they- they can't do that! Nothing can do that! What am I-?"

He cut off. Tears welled up in his eyes and he went limp. For the second time, this man had hugged him when he was about to lose himself to hysterics, and he found himself unable to shove him away. Of course, he should shove him way; he betrayed them, he lied to them and-….but…nothing had really changed, had it? Here he was, even after he played his 'act', holding him in comfort. Lloyd hung his head, sniffing a bit.

"…I know you're frightened," Kratos spoke softly, rubbing his back. "…Perhaps it's best though…if you don't get those answers, Lloyd."

He looked up, tears welling up in his eyes again.

"H- how could not getting those answers be-?"

"I know you want to know, Lloyd, but…" Kratos sighed. "You've learned enough truths that have harmed you already."

Lloyd remained silent, his head against Kratos' chest, his mind drifting back to the dream he had had.

"Who's Cenon?"

Kratos said nothing.

"You know, don't you?" he continued, swallowing. "You know who Cenon is. You said your mother met him-"

Kratos physically flinched. The Seraph pulled back, holding Lloyd at arm's length, his face blank though his eyes scanned him rapidly.

"…Who told you that." His voice finally came, barely a whisper.

Lloyd hesitated, frowning but not looking away.

"You did- …at least you told it to…someone, someone that kept calling you 'Master'-"

Kratos stood up, turning from him and facing the fire.

"Kratos-" Lloyd frowned, hesitating.

"You shouldn't know that."

"Kratos, please," he said, his voice nearly begging for him. "You know don't you? You- you told us to run at the tower and you took care of me when I passed out, you have to have a reason for that! Please, what is it? What's Cenon? Am- Am I Cenon? I-"

"No!"

Lloyd stared and Kratos stared as well, surprised by his own reaction. Kratos cleared his throat, turning away again, rubbing his face. The younger swordsman began to shake, then quickly go up from the bed- or attempted to at least. Lloyd barely stood when he staggered, his foot getting tangled in the bedding; naturally Kratos caught him, sitting him back down on the bed's edge.

"You shouldn't be getting up so fast-"

"Shut up! You know! You know what's going on don't you?" Lloyd snapped, his fists clenched at his sides. "Tell me! Please, I can't- I'm going insane! Kratos I can't- "

"Lloyd," Kratos said softly, trying to calm him like one would a frightened animal. "Just try to calm down, try to relax…"

Lloyd swallowed, turning and laying back down on the bed with his back to the man.

"…I keep hoping I'll wake up and this will be some weird dream."

Kratos didn't answer and Lloyd closed his eyes, his cheek pressed against the pillow.

"…" Kratos sighed. "That's understandable."

"I want to go home," Lloyd spoke softly, gripping the blanket around him. "I just- I just want a little bit to just sit at home like nothing happened, like- like-"

His voice cracked and he closed his eyes, shivering.

"Is it bad of me?" he asked quietly. "Is it bad that I Just want to get away from all this? I- …why the hell am I asking you…"

He sighed, though his body took it more like a shuddering breath, his form trembling. The boy closed his eyes, letting the dim light soothe his tired vision.

"It is not…bad," Kratos responded gently. "It is natural, it is…human, to get to the point where you just need to take a break. There is nothing wrong with that."

"My friends are going to be worried, I need to-" he frowned, starting to get up.

"You always push yourself too hard, Lloyd," the Seraph gently pushed him back down. "You berate the Chosen-…Colette for doing such, when you're always striving for everyone else's sake just as much as she is. You need to rest, it will do you no good if you go out and about exhausted mentally and physically. If you are concerned I will tell your companions you are well…though I am not sure if they would believe me, in all honesty…"

Lloyd looked at him a moment, locking russet with russet, silent a long minute. This man…what, what was the deal with this guy? He had trained him, taught him, defended him, then turned around and betrayed and hurt him only to turn around once more and help him. That and- …and…

"I couldn't kill you," Lloyd said quietly.

"…Pardon."

Lloyd frowned, looking away as he recalled the events at the tower.

"…I could have," the boy continued, soft. "I could have killed you, I know I could have- like that, like that I could- like that I could have killed you. I felt it, I knew it…"

He looked down, clenching his fingers into the blankets on his lap.

"I could have killed you, I wanted to kill you, right then…but I couldn't," he said, his bangs obscuring his eyes. "Right then, all I could think about what you did to Colette, that you lied, that you- …and I wanted to kill you, but I couldn't, even though I know I could have."

Kratos remained silent; Lloyd took a shuddering breath before he spoke once more.

"And…and then after…" he whispered. "..I saw you- …I saw this vision or – or dream or something. You were in front of me, protecting me….but …it didn't make any sense. I just- nothing makes sense, none of any of this makes sense-"

"Calm down, Lloyd," Kratos spoke finally. "Just try to rest. You'll be back with your friends by morning, just try to get some sleep."

He couldn't think of anything else to say, and couldn't muster the will to question him further, couldn't fire up the determination to wrench answers from him. He was just tired, so tired of everything…

A sudden jolt tore through his head, causing him to yelp and grip at it, shaking. Kratos said something, he wasn't sure what. What was more interesting is what he saw- he saw it again; Kratos in front of him, protecting him, him looking up at him from someplace low on the ground…

His exhaustion finally claimed him and he fell back to the bed, out cold.

**Huh, I have nothing to say…uh…**

**Muffins.**

**Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays and all that **


	11. Chapter 11

**An update, yays n.n Sorry haven't updated much else : ( I actually started the chaps for Gender Bender and the Grandkid Redux and even Under My Wing. It's so frustrating, I've got like half a dozen chapters half done and just can't finish the damn things. Meh. : / Sorry, I hope inspiration will hitme sometime…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

The smell of water, clear and sweet, pure. Fresh air, breathed out through the leaves of plants, dappled sunlight filtering through the canopy, the calls of birds and scampering of land creatures…

It was peaceful.

It was chaos.

Everything hunted the other, everything fought for water, for food, for nests, for homes. Ever species competed with their kin and killed and fled from the species that were not their kin. Creatures constantly competed with each other and with their own, the fittest survived, all the others died, perished, prey to something else. For all the serenity it was also a massacre, a blood bath. The natural world was green with life just as it was red with death. Death was entwined with life just as much as a shadow was bound to an object when light shone upon it. It was chaos and bloodshed masquerading as balance and harmony.

Yet..that was what made it so beautiful.

It was imperfect, flawed, dynamic and constantly trying to change itself. It was a lot like..people, then. Nature was a lot like the people who lived upon it, or rather it was probably the people upon it were a lot like the world they lived upon. Perhaps that was why, why he always seemed to understand and empathize with the people of the world more than Origin and the others…

That was why he took pity on the little child that had gotten lost in his forest.

Humans were such…conflicting creatures. They were a lot like the world, as he had said. They were so destructive, when really physically they were so helpless… No fur, soft, thin skin, no claws, dull teeth, no poisons, frightening features, they weren't even fast or good swimmers, not even good burrowers or climbers. The only thing they had going for them was their thumbs and big brains. Sure he would take a human-like form himself, but that was because he didn't NEED a dangerous form. His inner power was sufficiently strong to make that unnecessary, then perhaps it was the same way with humans…

After all, those brains had served them well. For being so weak and defenseless, they managed to build cities, to grow cultures, civilizations, much like the elves had. The elves were just as strange he figured, but at least they had mana manipulation on their side. But again, they really weren't much different, had to be the brains and the thumbs.

Still, without the weapons they made they were practically defenseless, especially a child. So why was it a human child was wandering around his domain?

She was lost, obviously, sniffling as she made her way through the trees. Several predators were eying her already, but perhaps her small size saved her, as she didn't appear enough of a meal to feed them, they would devote their energy to bigger prey. Ironic that her insignificance was what was saving her life.

What was she doing so far from the city anyway?

It was beginning to rain, the child shuddered, already cold as it was. Poor thing would get ill….

It was the way of things after all, young animals died all the time, they got lost from their mother and they were killed and fed to infants of another mother.

..Still…humans were a lot more emotional than most creatures. While other animals would mourn for their young, they would soon move on and breed more young. Humans would make more young, yes…but their health greatly deteriorated from the stress of loss of a child. Perhaps it was because they had just one, instead of a larger litter, so that they were more protective? …It was probably the large brain again, still…he couldn't blame any being for feeling despair over the end of a life.

Besides…while it was the way of nature it was still a sad thing to see a life never realized.

"What are you doing here?"

She flinched, her eyes wide as she looked up at him from where she had sat on the ground, her little legs tired. Wide russet eyes, unusual color for a human, but no less endearing.

"C.." she stared.

He walked forward, kneeling before her with his head tilted to the side, scanning her.

"Where is your mother? Why are you so far from home?"

"M- Mommy's sick, so- so I came to find you! They said Cenon can heal people!" the child's eyes welled up with tears.

It was then that things began to change. That instant, when the young girl threw her arms around him in a hug without hesitation, sobbing into his chest.

"Heal Mommy, please! Please heal Mommy!"

* * *

His eyes peeled open, his vision hazy from his sleep. Why was his head throbbing? Why did he feel so strange…?

"Lloyd!"

"He's awake, thank goodness…"

He turned his gaze aside, eyelids fluttering. Raine, Genis, Colette…he was back? Yes, he was back at the mansion. When did he get here? How? Where was Kratos- had he even really been there at all? Was it all just some fever dream?

"Lloyd, can you hear me?"

He closed his eyes but managed a nod. How had he gotten here? Had Kratos brought him back? Why did he pass out again? Why did things just keep getting more crazy?

"It's okay, Lloyd, try to rest."

For a bit, he did, but it didn't seem to last nearly long enough before his eyes opened again. The questions came as he had knew they would, his friends asking where he went, what happened, why it was Kratos brought him back, why Kratos would help him in the first place? Hell, why would he know? Not like he would k now anything at all, why would he know anything?

Nothing made sense…

That was about all that happened though, before he knew it he was back on his feet, traveling once again with his companions. It was almost normal for a bit, even. Well…that was until they got to the bridge.

Lloyd stopped dead in his tracks, letting out a grunt as his hands fled up to grip at his head. His companions jolted, obviously startled by their leader's actions.

"Lloyd? Lloyd what is it?" Genis asked.

This place. This bridge. It was- it felt- wrong. It was like- like a dog swarmed with ticks, or a pig with worms strewn through its body. It- no, it was worse than that even. A tick or a worm, gruesome as it was, naturally would do such things, naturally would feed off another creature to sustain itself. They were both parasites, those and the things he was sensing now, but the ones he sensed now were- were-

That's when it hit him.

His eyes snapped open and he held up his hand, the light glinting off his exsphere. Slowly his brown eyes widened even more, his skin going pale. That was it. It was the same, he just hadn't realized it- hadn't realized it until they were in such a mass-

"Exspheres," he choked. "Th- this bridge has exspheres, doesn't it?"

"Huh-? You could tell?" Zelos blinked, scanning him. "Yeah…over 3000 exspheres are fixed to this bridge."

Parasites entrapping human lives. Minds and souls of people that should be dead, souls that should have moved on, trapped in stones that clung to them like-children.

The thought nearly staggered him.

Yes, that was it, he could feel it. The stones…they were not…they didn't think, not thinking as he knew it anyway, but they felt. They felt, waves of horribly loneliness, like a lost child that desperately clung to whoever would give them comfort and then were too terrified to let go. They were alive too; the lonely despairing exspheres clinging to a suffering human soul…it was a symbiosis of pain, a parasitic hell.

Lloyd promptly doubled over and threw up.

"Lloyd!" Raine was at his side shortly, patting his back. "Lloyd what- okay, just calm down, get it all up…"

"G- get-" he sputtered, choking. "Get me away from here…."

"Lloyd-?" Genis fidgeted.

"I can't- I can't cross this thing!" Lloyd panted, his body shaking. "I- I can't go-"

"Lloyd, calm down, get a hold of yourself," Raine said, her voice firm but gentle. "Just take a few deep breathes and tell us what's wrong."

Tell them what was wrong? Even if he did, how was he supposed to explain to them how he knew it? How he felt it? Deep breathes, deep breathes…

"I- I…"

Okay, if he just focused on his breathing, he didn't notice it as much. Okay, just focus on anything but- but the exspheres, get a hold of yourself, need to cross, to help Colette…

Colette….

"I'm- I'm okay," he lied, straightening himself. "I'm fine, I just- I just felt sick for a moment."

It was obvious they didn't buy it, but there wasn't much else they could do. Zelos eyed him and he knew the redhead was not just a little suspicious. Then again, he didn't have to guess at that seeing as the Chosen bluntly stated such.

"So what exactly is your deal, again?" Zelos raised an eyebrow.

"We don't know," Raine answered bluntly. "We believe it has something to do with the summon spirits, specifically Origin."

"Origin, eh?" Zelos tilted his head, though his gaze remained fixed. "Well my sweet hunny Sheena was with you for a while, am I right? She is a summoner y'know, I'm guessing she thinks it's something to do with that too?"

"Yes." Raine nodded. "We explained this to you earlier Zelos."

"Well some of it, anyway." Zelos shrugged. "As I recall you didn't want to do much talking because the bumpkin in question was passed out in bed. Is he always this wimpy or…?"

"He's not 'wimpy'!" Genis huffed. "He's…"

"We don't know what the hell is wrong with me," Lloyd said flatly, directing his gaze stubbornly down the bridge. "All right? Your guess is as good as ours, now let's hurry up and get over this thing."

He didn't mean to come across harshly but the way Zelos flinched made it obvious that he had. Still the swordsman ignored it, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the walkway ahead as he tried to ignore the horrible sensation that exuded from the walls. As he walked though he couldn't help but start thinking of the very exsphere that rode on his hand, of his mother….

Was she watching right now? Did she see him? She had to…she probably saw him right now, probably…

"I'm sorry Mom," he whispered, his hand gently touching the gem. "When this is all over I'll…I'll set you free, I promise."

For a second he felt a tingle, like the brush of someone's hand against his fingertips. Lloyd flinched, his eyes jerking to his hand and the exsphere to find nothing out of the ordinary.

Nothing of interest- aside from the horrid bridge- happened during their trip and once they had gotten off the bridge Lloyd felt substantially better. Raine had been concerned for him during their trek and was half convinced that he was going to faint at any moment, and a few times Lloyd wasn't sure if he would say she was just being paranoid. Once they had cleared the bridge he felt better- good, even, maybe even great. The sun was shining, the air smelt especially sweet, and a buzz… Yes it was a buzz, not as 'loud' as Meltokio, but definitely more lively than the bridge. By comparison the bridge felt like some…sludge, like he was stuck in mud and thorns trudging to get out. Now it felt more like…well, like a bright sunny day.

He felt great even, for the first time in…forever, it felt like. There was a spring in his step, he felt healthy, lively, despite everything that he knew was hovering over his head somehow he still just felt…great.

"So what was it about the bridge that was ..bothering you, Lloyd?" Raine asked.

"Huh-?" Lloyd looked at her. "O- oh…"

He fell silent; he wasn't sure how long he walked trying to think of what to tell them but apparently it was long enough for them to get exasperated with him.

"Lloyd, can't you tell us?" Genis sighed. "We just want to help…"

"I've been thinking, while we're at the academy perhaps we can have them take a look at you too, Lloyd," Raine said, her blue eyes landing on the teen. "Sheena said this side was doing spirit research, perhaps if you told them what you've..experienced they might be able to shed some light on what's happening to you."

"…What's happening to me," Lloyd whispered, pondering the words.

"Do you think that'd work, Raine?" Genis asked.

"It's worth a shot, the worst that can happen is that they'll tell us they don't know anything."

"Okay," Lloyd agreed, his voice soft. "I- I suppose we're not getting answers from anywhere else…"

He closed his eyes.

Russet eyes, the girl and Kratos, the same russet eyes.

**Yeah these chapters tend to run short….:/ guess all the heavy existential stuff kinda makes the pacing weird. That and I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to update any time soon …lots of issues lately. Sorry in advance. Still I hope you liked**


	12. Chapter 12

**X3 This chapter should prove to be most fun…read along and we'll see shall we?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Lifeless beings.

His eyes snapped open, staring at the researcher that had just stated the phrase. Lifeless….beings…

"Lifeless beings? What does that mean, Sis?"Genis asked, looking to his sister.

"How do I put this…they're alive, just not in the same way we are-" Raine began.

"Lifeless beings are beings that are capable of emotions and thoughts which are either created by someone or dependent on waking and feeding on a living thing's emotions."

The words left his mouth promptly and smoothly, without a flicker of hesitation, nor did his expression change from the small frown. His friends turned, staring at him, awaiting him to explain how it was he knew what he had just said.

He didn't.

"I-…" he shut his eyes, feeling his fists clench. "They're-they're alone, they aren't parasites, they don't benefit from it they- people cling to life anyway they can too, don't they? How is that any different-"

He shook his head.

"They aren't supposed to do that, they- it's not – natural-"

"Well begging your pardon but it is quite natural, they do it after all-" the researcher began.

Lloyd's eyes snapped open.

"No it's not!" he snapped, stomping his foot on the ground as he locked the scholar in a piercing glare. "You- how dare you tell me what's-!"

"Lloyd." Raine snapped, grabbing his shoulder. "Calm down. Why are you acting like this? Just calm down…"

The teen shuddered, bringing a hand to his face as he began to take deep breathes, trying to calm himself.

"S- So they're evolved exspheres?" he said. "So...if we could just give her a key crest would that work? Like if it was a normal exsphere?"

"Well…in theory," the man said, eying Lloyd warily.

"All right," Lloyd said quickly, turning to the door. "Let's go find something we can use to make a crest for Colette-"

"Lloyd." Raine grabbed his arm.

The teen looked down at his teacher, whose blue eyes scanned his face intently.

"What?" Lloyd responded after a second, fidgeting uncomfortably under her scrutiny.

"Nothing. Zelos, do you know anywhere we could perhaps find a crest of sorts?"

They were scrounging through the local bazaar soon after, looking for any sort of crest they could modify. While it was unlikely they would find one in a human town, they had little option as of yet, it was worth a look while they were there. Lloyd devoted himself to searching, both from his drive to help Colette and an uneasy tension that he was striving to ignore. Raine was eying him; he could feel her gaze on him. Still, it wasn't like that was anything new. In fact, he would be surprised if she had taken her eyes of him at any point since he had di-

He shook his head, searching again.

Why was so much going back to exspheres? The crystal that had done this to Colette was an exsphere, the exspheres on the bridge were what had thrown him off like this- today, he added bitterly as an afterthought. He shivered; he didn't like to even think about those gems on the bridge, the state Colette had fallen to…

"Hey, I think I found something!" Genis called.

Lloyd rushed over, scanning the object the half-elf had collected. The teen picked it up, scanning it intently before breaking into a relieved smile.

"Yeah, this'll work just fine, I'll need to work on it for a while though."

"All right then, shall we go to the inn?"

"Well I'll need some tools…you think they got anything like that at that academy place?"

"There's an arts department," Zelos said. "They should have some crafting stuff and whatnot, if that's what you mean."

"Yeah, that's perfect. Let's go see if they'll let me use some stuff."

Once again, Lloyd used the opportunity to completely immerse himself in his work. It was a relief, to focus on one thing and one thing only, to not have to wonder and guess at everything. He'd fix this, and he'd help Colette, that's all there was to it. So he focused on the details, working the crest to perfection. Dirk had always said that hard work was the best cure for a troubled mind, though he hadn't thought that was really true until now. He almost felt like himself again when he admired his finished work, then went out to meet his friends. It was only when he saw Colette, and that wave of discomfort washed over him again did he come back to reality. Or what…was his reality, as of late.

He situated the crest over the crystal on her collar, trying to ignore how the icy nauseating sensation intensified the closer her was to that gem. Still, he managed to focus on his work, fixing the crest-necklace correctly, a weak smile on his face.

"I carved the key-crest into the necklace, I know it's late, but…I finally got your birthday present done."

Lloyd backed up, looking at Colette anxiously, awaiting any change. They waited a moment, but nothing happened. He frowned, curling his fingers a bit. It hadn't worked? But why? What else could he do?

"Hm…it looks like we're going to have to try something else," Raine said. "Perhaps we should find a dwarf…"

"I don't know any dwarves," Zelos half-scoffed, one hand at his hip.

"Well maybe Dirk can help," Genis spoke up.

"Hm, it's worth a try, we should head back to Sylvarant then-"

"Woah woah, what? Hey, I'm supposed to keep tabs on you, remember? I can't let you go back to Sylvarant."

"But we need to, for Colette! Right, Lloyd?"

Lloyd said nothing, gazing intently on the crest he'd fashioned. It didn't work? But that didn't…make sense, he had done it right, hadn't he? And there was…something-

"You're kind to girls, aren't you?" Raine said to Zelos. "It's for her own good, you understand, don't you?"

"…Ah hell, fine. We can go to Sylvarant-"

No sooner had he said that did they find themselves surrounded by knights, who then accused Zelos of being a traitor to Tethe'Alla and quite shortly they found themselves under arrest.

"Wait- ow!"

Lloyd hissed, drawing back from the guard that had pricked him with some strange device.

"All convicts are tested," Zelos explained. "Half-elves that are arrested are put to death, it's standard procedure."

"Half-elves-? What, why? That doesn't-"

"Sir! We found matches!'

Lloyd whipped his head around, eyes widening a bit as he saw the terrified face of Genis and the paleness of Raine's face.

"So you two are half-elves!"

"Huh? No they aren't, they're elves you morons!" Lloyd snapped.

They couldn't' be half-elves, if they were, then they'd be put to death- no. No they couldn't be, they couldn't die-

Die.

Oh Martel no, no!

"Get your hands off them!"

He wasn't quite sure what happened then; he had jerked forward, reaching for his two friends. Then there had been a …flash, a surge, sparks. Someone shouted and the next thing he knew it all went black. If he had passed out, he was barely out a couple minutes- at least, that's what he thought. He opened his eyes again and he was laying on a dungeon floor, prying his eyes open to meet the eyes of a teal-haired woman that was scanning him through thick spectacles.

"Well you came around quickly, the guards barely left…" he heard Zelos say to the side.

Lloyd groaned, sitting upright and placing a hand to his head.

"So you mind telling us how the hell you did that, Bud?"

"Did…what?" he grimaced, trying to recollect his scattered thoughts.

He took a deep breath and shook his head violently. With a quick motion he forced himself to his feet, scanning the dungeon. They were in a lab of some kind, apparently.

"Hey-"

"Presea?"

Lloyd cut off, looking at the female researcher and then back at the pink-haired girl, who had retreated from her to the far side of the room.

"You're…you're Presea!"

"Wait, you know Presea?" Lloyd asked, half-dazed still.

The half-elven woman hesitated, pushing up her glasses on her nose with a frown.

"This child was my groups research sample, we were attempting to create a Cruxis Crystal using exspheres; we called it the Angelus Project-"

"The Angelus Project?" Lloyd jerked, finally snapping from his haze. "That's the project my mom was involved in!"

"Your mother?"

It hit him suddenly. That's why Presea was so emotionless, that's why he had been getting the same unsettling feeling from her as he had been from Colette. They were both victims, they were both devoid of their lives because of those stones- no, because of the people that kept using the stones on them-

His fists clenched.

"How could you?" he asked, his voice low, eyes locked on the woman.

"I- What-?"

"How could you treat people like that? What gives you the right to play with their lives like this? No one has that right!" he shouted. "Who do you think you-? Gah-!"

He doubled over, grasping at his heart, breathing heavily as his brown eyes stared unseeing into space. It burned- no, was it happening again? No! Get control, breathe, calm down…but…but…!

"Wh..what…what are you?"

Lloyd jerked his head up, meeting eyes with the terrified woman whom had slapped her hand over her mouth in an expression of alarm. Her fair skin had paled further, beads of sweat appearing on her brow.

"You- you aren't human, are you? But- no, you're not elven at all, I can't sense that. What are-?"

"Kate, remember? The soldier brought in the data they collected from him when they tested him up above, they told us to look at it-"

Kate rushed over to her coworker, swiping the same small device from his hands that Lloyd had seen used on them earlier. The woman scanned it and then him again, swallowing nervously.

"You..you're not a normal human, are you?"

"Yeah ,he's been a little unusual for a while now," a voice said.

Before Lloyd knew what had happened, Corrine had appeared, quickly removing the shackles on his wrists and his friends' as well. The small animal glared a moment at Lloyd before scuttling over to a puff of smoke that had produced Sheena.

"Well he was a little odd to begin with, anyway, he was raised by a dwarf with half-elves and all."

"Sheena!" Lloyd exclaimed, obviously relieved to see a friendly face.

"Half-elves?" Kate asked, confused at the prospect.

Half-elves-

Lloyd flinched, cursing himself as he turned to the researcher again. Dammit, how could he have let that slip his mind, even for a second? He'd gotten so wrapped up about the exsphere- well that was important, but they were in danger!

"Look, you've gotta let us leave! We have to save our friends!" Lloyd said to Kate.

"Yeah, Missy," Zelos added smoothly. "Lloyd here is gonna go save his half-elf best friend, are you gonna stop that, Miss Half-Elf?"

"Friends…a human friends with a half-elf? That..no, you're lying-"

"There's no difference between a human and a half-elf life!" Lloyd snapped, his eyes narrowing. "Every life has value, no one of any race should ever just be thrown away! We need to save them, and if you try to stop us-"

"There's a secret exit in the back," Kate said flatly, interrupting him.

Lloyd cut off, put off by her abrupt change in attitude.

"W-…you believe me?"

Kate frowned, pushing up her glasses once more. Lloyd noticed that her hand was trembling slightly, as was her coworker to the side. Both half-elves were staring at him intently and Lloyd suddenly became aware of a low growl from Corrine on Sheena's shoulder, as well as a strange pulsing in his body.

"Forgive us," Kate whispered, her eyes locked with his. "I didn't'- we didn't realize. Please, go, save your friends. Then when you can, come back, I'll help you to save Presea from her experiment."

"…I gotta admit, Miss Half-Elf, I'm a little suspicious about this sudden eagerness." Zelos frowned, eyes narrowed on her. "What do you know about Bud here that we don't?"

"Guys, we're all curious, but there's no time!" Sheena snapped. "We need to hurry and save them, if we're too late…"

"We won't be," Lloyd said quickly. "Show us the way out, Kate, and we'll come back. Thank you."

He knew. They knew something, Kate knew something about him. Still, that would have to wait. They had to save Raine and Genis, they shouldn't have spent as much time here as they did to begin with. Whatever Kate knew about him or Presea would wait until they had gotten Raine and Genis back safe and sound.

"Hey, Lloyd-?" Sheena began.

"Not now!"

He was running as fast as his legs could carry him, they had made it to the bridge but that in itself was going to be the most distance to cover. The thought of Raine and Genis dying was too prominent in his mind, being murdered for no reason other than they were half-elves. It was insane, it wasn't right-it was-it was horrible! He couldn't allow this, he wouldn't allow this. They had no right-

"Lloyd, wait!"

He finally slowed just a bit, looking over his shoulders and finding the rest of his group was lagging behind…quite a bit, actually. Wha- he hadn't been running that fast, had he? They were more than capable of keeping up with him, he had seen it…then why-?

Dammit, why couldn't they hurry up? What were they doing? No, no calm down, don't lose your head, he told himself. They needed to hurry, but if they wore themselves to exhaustion there was no way they'd be able to free them. Reluctantly, he slowed, just enough for them to catch up with him before rushing off again.

Though it wasn't long before they ran into yet another obstacle.

"Dammit, they're raising the drawbridge!" Lloyd cursed. "We're going to have to jump it!"

"Woah woah, what? Time out, we'll DIE if we fall from here," Zelos scoffed.

"If we abandon them then they'll die too!" he scowled.

He took off running up the steepening bridge, ignoring the pounding of his heart in his ears. They would make it, they had to-..no, they would make it. They would. It was simply a fact. Though he wasn't quite sure how he knew it. They reached the top of the bridge and jumped…

And they were falling.

His heart was pounding in his ears, then louder, louder until that was all he heard. His eyes shut, aware of only his own pulse, not of the sound of the ocean rushing up toward him, not of the air flying past him, not of the smell of the sea breeze. There was only the pulse of his heart-…no…was it his heart? His eyes opened slowly, far too slowly, surely they would have hit the water by now- where…was he?

He was nowhere, again, floating in nothing, alone in an expanse he couldn't completely fathom. There was water below him, actual water, not like the strange fluid he had last seen here. Blue sea water, nothing else, nothing except the water and the bristling energy he felt coming from it. It was alive, it was teeming…no, wait, the water wasn't alive itself. No…but it was filled, bursting with life; he could feel it, countless living things. He couldn't see them, but he could feel them, each and every one, their energy flooding his body, his mind. The pulsing intensified and he cried out in pain. It was too much, far too much, he couldn't take-

His eyes snapped open.

No, he could.

And he could do more than that.

Suddenly he was back in mid-air, above the sea, falling from the bridge, his friends around him. Then the sea rose up to meet them, gushing up in a massive pillar of water, catching them and pushing them to the other side of the bridge. He wasn't quite finished with it yet though. Lloyd found himself standing easily atop a wave of water that was rushing down the bridge toward the group of guards, riding the wave easily as it charged forward. The guards let out cries of shock and awe, attempting to flee the wall of water, to no avail. The wave split, engulfing the soldiers in a circle, leaving the Sages untouched, all before the water promptly froze, encasing the guards in ice. Genis had yelped, Raine pulling him to her protectively, her eyes wide with shock. Lloyd slid over the ice, jumping down into the circle and landing easily in front of them.

They gaped at him, but he said nothing, quickly grabbing their restrains and simply breaking them off. The others were outside the circle of ice, they were fine, he knew so. Zelos was currently attempting to form a coherent sentence and Sheena from the sounds of it was trying to calm a hissing Corrine. They were fine, and the Sages were fine, he could tell without looking them over. Their beings were in balance, healthy, uninjured. He turned toward one wall of the ice-ring, waving his hand at it and it melted instantly, opening a path for them to walk out. Lloyd smiled, contented with his work then turned back to the half-elves, who were gaping at him.

"I'm glad you're alright," he said with a smile, seemingly unfazed by their gawking expressions.

"I- wh- Lloyd?" Genis stammered, his flesh ghostly white.

Raine said nothing, her lips pursed in a frown as she scanned him.

"…What's wrong?" he asked, frowning a bit. "…Come on, let's get out of here."

He held out his hand to them. What was wrong? Why were they staring at him like that? He briefly scanned himself, he was normal, the red jacket, the suspenders, the swords at his hip. For some reason it didn't occur to him the feat he had just performed was the cause of their shock.

That, and he couldn't see that his eyes had turned milky-white.

…**mwahahahahahahh x3**

**Reviews?**


	13. Chapter 13

**Dear Lloydie how I love you, mwahahahah x3**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

"I don't want to talk about it!"

His brown eyes were glued stubbornly on the mountain path before them, trying to ignore his pulse pounding in his ears with every heavy step he took, dirt kicking up into the air as he went. They were still trying to talk about it. Why? What was the point in it? It was over, and they had nothing to go on! They told Zelos and Presea about him, about what happened in Sylvarant, and they in turn had told the Sages about Kate, about how she knew something about his…state. Still, there was nothing else to discuss! Even the Professor had said that they were getting nowhere, that they were just talking in circles like they had before.

Then why couldn't Zelos shut the hell up!?

"Look, Bud, it's just-"

"It's weird, strange, freaky, unnatural, scary, anything else you want to add? Hm?" Lloyd snapped, his eyes flashing dangerously as they narrowed on the man.

"Woah woah! Okay, okay! I'll shut up, just chill!"

Lloyd growled, attempting to go back to his task of keeping his eyes fixated on the trail. He didn't even know if his eyes were brown again yet….or if they even would become brown again. He shoved the thought from his mind, along with many other things. It felt like keeping his mind together in itself was a battle, not simply from those thoughts, but from…everything. Feelings kept assaulting him, sensations, like the lapping of water on a beachfront, slowly edging in on him, breaking him down, little by little, easing into his very being-

No. He shook his head. No. No enough thoughts like that, he was going to ignore it, all of it.

…how long could he ignore it, though?

The reached the mountain top. Then it was things got…eventful. Lloyd had barely taken a step onto the grass when he felt his spine seize up, his muscles tensing.

"Lloyd-?"

He held out an arm, stopping his friends as his eyes locked on one of the large boulders, narrowing.

"I know you're there," he said. "Come out. Now."

He knew they were there after all, he could feel them, the two of them. The mana, the years….both of them, the years…

"I told you that wouldn't do anything," a voice scoffed as its owner emerged, the blue-haired Renegade glaring at his companion.

"It was I that told you that," the baritone answered. "It doesn't matter now at any rate."

The group froze, staring as the two Seraphim appeared before them. Lloyd's fingers were curled at his sides, doing his best to try to ignore the ….'years'. He felt them, waves of mana, crashing against his mind. Was it just Kratos or-? No, it was Yuan too, they were both….the same. In…in that way, anyway, he couldn't quite make himself think clearly-

"It happened again, didn't it?" Kratos spoke, drawing his attention. "You changed-"

"As a matter of fact, no, only his eyes have," Raine interrupted, her tone defensive. "But if you mean that he pulled some godlike feat, then yes, he did."

'Have', not 'did'? Wait- where his eyes still white? Was that why there were all- why didn't anyone say anything? Why-?

His teeth gritted.

"What are you two doing here? Why are you both here? Aren't you enemies? What's going on!"

He felt it pulse. What 'it' was he couldn't quite explain, mana? Or was it deeper than that? Was it…

"Calm down, Lloyd," Kratos said quickly. "We're not here to fight."

"As if we could win," Yuan muttered darkly, eying the teen warily.

"Huh? What do you-…you know, don't you? You know what's happening to me, just like those researchers in Sybak."

"Sybak researchers?" Yuan frowned. "I doubt that-…half-elven ones? Half-elven researches at Sybak 'know'?"

"It's possible," Kratos said, glancing at him. "I'm certain Raine and Genis have sensed it, but growing up in Sylvarant they wouldn't know enough to make the correct conclusion."

"Stop ignoring us!" Lloyd snapped.

Another pulse.

"All right, all right!" Yuan said quickly. "We won't ignore you, just calm down, please…."

It was hard to breathe for some reason; his mind kept…it was getting harder to think. It was easy to feel though, quite easy, easy to feel his frustration and indignation toward the two men. They were all tense, he could feel them, he could feel their muscles tightened- all of them, could feel the pulses of their hearts, the dryness of their throats…

"Lloyd, listen to me," Kratos said slowly, approaching him as one would approach a frightened animal. "We are not here to fight, we are not here to take the Chosen. Lloyd, this is very important….yes, we do know what's happening to you, but we can't talk about it here. Lloyd, it's very important that you calm down, if he senses you, everyone will be in danger."

"Everyone as in?" Raine interjected sharply, obviously distrusting of the man.

"Everything that lives," Kratos said flatly.

What was he talking about? Everything that-….no, no he was right. He wasn't sure why he was right but…he could feel it, under him, above him, around him….the entire world was swathed in it- …no, the world wasn't swathed in it, he was swathed in the world. The world itself, everything in it, on it, through it-

He felt another pulse and his eyes closed, releasing a deep breath.

Everything felt better, suddenly, everything felt…fine, felt…perfect, invigorating, peaceful, everything that could be good, all at once-

Then he felt it.

He choked, falling onto his hands and knees, coughing up saliva. His friends had swarmed him quickly, but he couldn't pay attention to them right now. He felt it, he felt what was wrong with the world. It was like…looking at some beautiful animal, some large, strong, awe-inspiring creature, seeing it from its side and marveling at its health, beauty and power; then suddenly seeing the other side, and seeing a gaping, festering wound. The world- the entire world, both worlds, were that animal, and they both bore that horrible wound- the same wound, the scars of separation. The world wasn't…supposed to be like this, no, it was wrong, it- it- he couldn't- no- it was- it- he had to fix it. He had to fix it! He couldn't allow this! Couldn't allow it to continue like this, couldn't-

Every image of suffering he had seen in his life suddenly flashed through his mind. The human ranches, the people dying, tortured, suffering, the starving poor of Sylvarant, the ill, the wounded, the crippled. Not even just the people, the thin wildlife rooting for sustenance, the vegetation writhing from the lack of water, the- the world, not even just Sylvarant, in Tethe'alla too! People starving, scrounging to get by, clinging to life.

"Stop it…stop it…" he choked, feeling his body shake.

It hurt. It twisted inside him, as if some clawed fist had dug into his heart and was twisting it this way and that, as if his stomach was boiling.

"Stop it…" he said again, feeling hot tears stream down his face.

It was wrong. Death, disease, starvation, they were normal, they were simply part of it, it was inevitable, but this- this was…this was wrong. This wasn't natural, this was a forced situation, this was the world being leeched of mana and everything suffering for it, this was people being kicked underfoot, beaten, neglected and starved by other people. This was…

No, no no no, no- NO! NO!

"STOP IT!"

He had shrieked at the top of his lungs, his fingers dug tightly into the dirt, his shoulders quivering dangerously. He hacked and spat, gasping for air as he abruptly found his senses back with his body.

"Stop it…." he whimpered quietly. "Stop…"

Then his body collapsed and his mind went silent along with it.

* * *

"Get out."

"Look, you have no idea how important it is that we-"

"Well obviously it's not that important if you can't tell us. We're not handing him over; do you think we're stupid? Leave. Now."

"Look if we wanted to hurt any of you, we could have by now!"

"Then why don't you just take him by force? Hm?"

A moment of silence.

"Because we can't."

"Oh? Why is that then, hm?'

More silence.

Where was he? Who was talking? Raine and….Yuan, he thought, yeah…and that one time…Kratos? Yes, what were they doing here? Where were they? It sounded like Raine and the others had things under control but…

He felt his eyelids flicker and he let out a soft groan, pushing himself up into a sitting position. His head throbbed and for a moment he was certain that he would be sick. Raine instructed him to take deep breathes, which he did, finally opening his eyes to scan the people around him. Raine was frowning at his side and he noticed some of the others to the other side of his bed. He wasn't sure he recognized the place at first, then after a quick look realized he must be in Zelos' mansion, judging by the size of the room.

Kratos and Yuan were on the other side of Raine.

"What- what are you doing here?" he asked instantly, feeling a quick jerk down his spine.

"Before you ask, no, we're not here for the Chosen, she's right over there." Yuan pointed to the side, where the soulless girl stood. "She's not our priority right now."

Lloyd frowned, scanning the two Seraphim and then back at Colette. While he tried to gather his thoughts Kratos approached, Raine standing between them, cutting him off.

"Let me speak with him," Kratos said, his voice calm though his fingers curled anxiously around the hilt of his sword.

"I told you both to get out."

"Professor, let me talk to them."

The half-elf blinked, surprised, and honestly Lloyd was a bit surprised by his own decision as well. Still, she stepped to the side, allowing Kratos to approach him with Yuan right behind.

For a moment, Lloyd could only look at them, feeling the waves of years radiating from them. He …wasn't quite sure what it meant, really… Years, that was all he knew, they 'had years'…many of them. They were- dammit he couldn't get his mind wrapped around it. Kratos frowned, seeming to consider a moment before he spoke.

"Lloyd, do you…do you have any idea what's happening?"

Lloyd just looked at him. He searched his mind for a response but found it oddly blank, emptied, tired.

"I sense things," he said flatly. "I feel things and I make things happen sometimes, and I…change. That's all I know, that and that you guys and those people in Sybak know more about it than I do…"

He looked down, his fingers curling into the covers. That really was it, wasn't it? That was it, everything except-

"Cenon," he said. "I keep getting called Cenon. What is it? What's Cenon?"

Kratos frowned, looking back at Yuan, who didn't seem to be very happy. The Renegade shook his head and Kratos turned back to Lloyd.

"Is that really all you know, Lloyd? Is that really everything?"

Lloyd frowned, feeling frustration beginning to build up.

"Yes. Of course that's all I know, if I knew anything else then I wouldn't be in this situation now would I?" he snapped, glaring up at the man. "That's it. That, and that you know what it is, and whatever it is you're too afraid of it to try to hurt us."

Kratos frowned, seemingly at a loss for words. It didn't matter, as Yuan took up the silence for a chance to speak.

"We don't know what's going on much more than you do," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "What we do know is that you're inhibiting a staggering amount of mana, and that if Yggdrasill finds out he'll stop at nothing to get at you. For the Chosen, he's willing to wait to try to obtain her discretely; he won't do the same if he finds out about you. The short version is if your new 'developments' are discovered you all will have no choice at all of ever saving the Chosen or any of your other friends, much less the world."

Lloyd went to speak but the man continued.

"I'll get straight to the point. It's not safe for you to be gallivanting around and none of us will learn anything. It's in all our best interests if you come to one of the Renegade bases so my researchers can-"

"No," Kratos cut in sharply, his eyes narrowing on Yuan. "You are not taking him-"

"Oh and you are? Not a chance in hell, regardless of your motivations, Cruxis will have their hands all over him in a minute if you so much as-"

"He's not going with anyone but us!" Genis shouted, rushing up to Raine's side. "If you're really so scared of him or about him or whatever, then just stay out of our way and leave us all alone!"

"Look, I'm not leaving here without him," Yuan snapped, stepping forward. "You want to restore the Chosen's soul? I can do that-"

"We have no way of knowing you're telling the truth," Raine retaliated.

Yuan's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"If I need to get a certain dwarf that lives near Iselia involved in this, I will," he hissed. "I can have my men on his doorstep in a matters of minutes-"

"Yuan!" Kratos snapped, his eyes widening slightly.

Yuan then realized he'd made a very dire mistake.

The hanging lamps surged, the excess electricity surging from the wires and channeling themselves right at the Renegade. Yuan barely put up a mana field in time to stop himself from becoming fried. The Sages quickly backed away just as Lloyd swung his legs over and set his feet on the floor. Lloyd stepped forward, sparks flicking on his fingertips.

"Don't you dare threaten my Dad," he said, his voice dropping an octave.

It felt like fire was surging in his arms, that same euphoric inferno that he had felt that first time- when it had all happened, surging in his heart. He saw Yuan's wide emerald eyes and heard someone shout, but he couldn't pay them any mind, couldn't bring himself to. His bare hand launched through Yuan's shield, shattering the barrier and quickly wrapping around Yuan's throat. He could feel his pulse racing, could feel it circulating through his body, the veins, the muscles, the nerves, every little cell working tirelessly, frantically trying to continue to supply oxygen to the brain. It would be so easy to shut it all down-

It was like a flash of light, like a smothered candle had suddenly flared back up into flame, light, warmth, life-

"Lloyd, don't!"

His head whipped around, spotting her blue eyes wide in horror, racing for him. He quickly drew his hand and his senses away from his target, turning to the blonde girl instead. Before he could say her name she had wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.

"Don't! Lloyd- don't! Stop it! Please- please go back to normal! Please- stop!"

She seemed taller suddenly- or…had he gotten shorter? He wrapped his arms around her, feeling his fury and his sensing dim.

"Co…lette? You're…" he whispered, stunned.

She looked up at him, relief visibly flooding her expression.

"Lloyd! Lloyd you're-" she hugged him tightly again. "Oh thank goodness…you're back to normal…."

Normal? Had he not been normal-...had- had he changed again? He was sure he hadn't- had he? It seemed very confusing, very vague now, all that he had really …all he really remembered was getting angry and then attacking Yuan. He blinked, turning back toward the Seraph in question. The half-elf was panting on the ground a few feet away, Kratos releasing a steady stream of healing mana to his companion. Kratos was whispering something to him but he couldn't make out the words. The swordsman lifted his eyes and met Lloyd's, a strange mix of emotions flashing through the russet eyes before they broke contact and the man stood, supporting Yuan albeit with obvious disapproval toward the half-elf.

"We'll leave," Kratos said flatly. "…Though the crest may have restored the Chosen's soul, I'd advise against keeping it on. It will doubtlessly endanger her."

"Are you guys leaving or not?" Sheena snapped, stepping forward and drawing out one of her paper seals.

Kratos frowned but said nothing more, quite suddenly disappearing with Yuan in a surge of mana.

"Hey- wait- what just…?" Lloyd shook his head, looking around at his companions.

"Well his eyes aren't freaky anymore and he did scare the shit out of that angel there, so I guess this is a win, yeah? Especially with cute little Colette here getting her soul back. Not a bad afternoon," Zelos commented.

His eyes? So had they really not changed back sense the bridge? He quickly looked around the room, spotting a mirror and dashing over to it. He nearly sighed in relief when he saw his own brown eyes looking back at him, his own, normal, reflection.

"We should head for Sybak as soon as possible," Raine spoke up. "We need to figure out what Kate knows about Lloyd's condition, and we also need to free Presea from her experiment."

Lloyd frowned at that, still staring into his own eyes in the mirror. His reflection..a reflection was what had started this whole mess, wasn't it? That reflection in the water that replaced his own…

"Lloyd?"

He turned, Colette smiling up at him.

"Don't worry Lloyd, you'll be okay, we're going to help you."

Lloyd stared at her a moment feeling extremely sheepish and selfish all of a sudden.

"N- Colette, don't worry about me." He shook his head, turning to face her. "I- I'm just glad you're all right! I thought for sure that the crest had failed, I'm so glad you're back to normal."

She smiled at him and for a moment, he really believed that he would in fact be all right.

**UPDATE! YAY! **

…**Chicken? *eating chicken* My chicken .**

**Review?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Another chappiessss**

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing**

Lloyd walked down into the lab, scanning the strange basement as he and the others followed after Sheena, who was in a rather intent talk with one of the researchers. Something about this place, with the strange instruments and- something that looked like a pod, to the side. He frowned, eying it from across the room. It looked like a small…pen or cage of some sort, well, more like a tank. Something about it was…uncomfortable, to say the least. He stopped halfway to Sheena while the others continued, finding himself instead moving over to the strange pod. He bit his lip, scanning it, slowing going to place his hand on it when he felt a set of sharp teeth dig into his shoulder.

"Ah-! What the-?"

"Don't touch it," Corrine hissed through his teeth. "It's bad."

Lloyd frowned down at the little creature, its fur raised up as it growled at the pod as if it had threatened him. The teen frowned, going to rip the creature from him but the little beast removed his teeth from his flesh.

"Why is it bad?"

"That's-…where they kept me, where I was born," Corrine said quietly. "That's where they hurt me with their 'studying'."

"Where you were born?" Lloyd frowned, eying the furry thing. "…Corrine? What are you anyway?"

"He's a man-made summon spirit, we research spirits at this facility."

Corrine growled again and Lloyd turned to face one of the half-elven researchers, a seemingly young man with purple hair.

"Summon spirits? Corrine is a summon spirit? Of what?" Lloyd frowned.

"Of? He's not a spirit 'of' anything really, he's just a summon spirit, a being of mana that can make a pact with a summoner," the man said. "We created him here."

"How do you 'make' a spirit?" Lloyd frowned. "I mean you can't just create a person out of thin air, how do you create a spirit?"

"It's a complicated process," the man said with a shrug. "Why are you interested?"

He frowned at that a little. Why? Because…everything going on had to do with summon spirits, didn't it? Origin, then Undine had tried to kill him, and- even Corrine was a spirit, and Corrine had been hostile to him since this entire mess started to begin with. Then again, if that trend was going to stay the same, he really didn't want to run into anymore spirits. What was it about…what was it about all this that had so much to do with the spirits but they hated him so much for it? They did hate him, right? Why else did they try to kill him?

"I- …I'm just curious," he said, looking at the researcher. "What exactly is a spirit anyway?"

"As I said, a spirit is a being comprised completely of mana of a certain type, there are different types of mana you do know? For instance, Efreet is the spirit of fire and is composed completely of fire-typed mana, all living things are composed of different types of mana to a degree, but- well in layman's terms spirits are creatures of pure energy, in the olden days they used to be worshipped as gods. They are extremely powerful, but they do have limits- well, most of them…"

Lloyd frowned.

"Most of-?"

"Lloyd? We're going now, what are you doing?"

Lloyd flinched, turning to his friends as Corrine jumped from his shoulder, rushing up onto Sheena's instead and curling close to her neck, dark eyes locked on Lloyd.

"Er- nothing I was just talking to this guy, thanks," he said to the scientist then went over to his friends. "So- we're going back to Sybak right? How are we getting there?"

He listened only half-heartedly as they explained about the EC and how they would use it to cross the ocean to the next continent. His eyes kept drifting over to the strange pod, repeating everything the half-elf had told him.

Something was…important about this, but he couldn't figure out what it was.

They had to spend another night in Meltokio, another night at Zelos' mansion. He wasn't exactly happy about that, not at all, in fact he was beginning to get rather sick of this city, so many bad things- …well not bad just-…confusing things kept happening here. He retired to bed earlier than the rest, curling up in his bed and staring at the wall in silence.

Tomorrow they would go back to Sybak, back to Kate. He both dearly wanted to know what she had to say and dreaded it. He almost regretted scaring Yuan and Kratos off- well maybe not Yuan, but Kratos had already shown that he…the he was trying to help. The very thought was strange to him, but he couldn't find it in himself to think otherwise. Kratos knew about this and for some reason he was worried about him. Would it…really be so bad, if he did ask him? He scowled, shaking his head. After what he had done to Colette, how could he even consider such a thing? It was unthinkable.

He tossed and turned in bed for longer than he could keep track, eventually sitting up with a sigh, staring blankly into the darkness. He was tired, exhausted, why couldn't he sleep? It was- he felt tense, fidgety, an uncomfortable uneasiness, like a bunch of bugs were crawling up and down his spine. For a moment he stared at the blankets under his hands before plopping back onto his back with a deep sigh, staring up at the ceiling.

Something felt…he didn't know how to describe it really. Something felt….

His eyelids drooped, his vision hazing a bit. Finally he felt his exhaustion overcoming him, claiming him into sleep. He wasn't sure what he dreamed about, but he knew he dreamed about something. Something… It was pointless to try and remember it, but he slept deeply, serenely, and when he woke up at the dawn's breaking, his felt completely relaxed. Well not relaxed, he felt energized but with no trace of aches or soreness, like his entire being had been rejuvenated. He sat up, stretching with a yawn as he sat up, rubbing the back of his neck.

Wow he was up early…he considered going back to sleep but he didn't feel tired any longer. Still… he never woke up this early, especially not when he had slept badly the night before. Still, he didn't feel like just sitting around…

Before he knew what he was doing he had gotten dressed and slipped out the back into the garden area behind the Wilder mansion. It smelled better here, he noticed, better than in the rest of the city anyway. The air smelled fresher, cleaner, and the morning dew on the plants…something about it rather…

He heard a loud smack.

Lloyd twitched, turning toward the sound and noticed the flailing little animal at the bottom of a nearby tree. An infant bird, it looked like, still fluffy with down, had fallen out from its nest. He frowned a bit, approaching the panicked creature. He could tell already it was injured, its small wing was sticking at an odd angle, and its beak was- yes its beak was cracked, broken, there was no way it could survive a broken beak like that, it wouldn't be able to eat. He hesitated, reaching a hand out to pick it up-

He stopped.

Images flashed through his head, freezing him. The bird would die, either way, a predator would come by and devour it, or take it home to feed to its young, or it would eat it and leave its remains, then insects would crawl over it, tearing it apart, taking its meat to feed themselves, their colonies, the remnants after that would fertilize the ground. It was an accident, but the bird would die, that was all there was to it. It would die here, and in dying would nourish others. That was all there was to it, there was nothing to pity, nothing to correct, nothing to do.

Just let it die.

The thought shocked him out of his stupor, shaking his head, staring in horror at the frail, wounded little creature. How- how could he think something like that? S- sure it was true, if it died, then…then that was just the way of the world, but- how could he possibly see something suffering right in front of him and just do nothing-?

Another shooting pain went through his head and he cried out, gripping it in his hands.

No. No…he was..missing something. What he had thought of was true, he knew that. Life was harsh, unfair, creatures died by accident and that was simply the way of it- …but creatures lived on accident as well. How many creatures survived day to day, on pure luck? Just luck they evaded the predator, just luck they managed to find food or water, just luck they missed the hunter coming through the woods… That wasn't fair either. It wasn't fair that helpless things died, but they did, and that was the way of things. It wasn't fair that other things lived when they simply were lucky, but they did, and that was the way of things too.

It was all very confusing.

He sat there a while, he didn't know how long, kneeling down, staring at the suffering little animal in front of him. His throat tightened, fingers curling. It was trying so hard to live, but there was no way it would. Even if a predator didn't find it it would die of its wounds eventually, there was no way it could recover from it. It was sad but…there was nothing he could do-

…He could kill it, he pondered. Kill it and cease its suffering, so it wouldn't have to be in pain anymore. Yes…kill it quick, painlessly, so it wouldn't have to-

His hand was hovering right over it.

His eyes widened again, shaking his head.

No- no! He was here, wasn't he? It had fallen from pure luck, things lived or died on just a stroke of luck, so wasn't it just luck he was here now? He could do something, couldn't he? He was here, he had a choice, he could do something. He could take it to the professor, that was it, he could take it and she could heal it and they could put it back in the nest…

He slipped his hands under it, gently cupping the fledgling up in his palms as he stood.

The poor thing was even worse up close. He frowned, turning and quickly heading toward the mansion. Raine would know what to do, she wasn't exactly a vet but she still-

It stopped.

Lloyd came to a halt, frowning, trying to make sense of the strange feeling before he realized what it was. His eyes widened, staring at the little bird. It wasn't breathing. It was dead.

His hands shook, staring at the dead chick, its eyes still open, glazed over. His throat clenched up, his eyes stinging as they began to water. Why- why was he reacting like this? Why was his entire body beginning to collapse? Why couldn't he look away from it? Why- why-

Then he sensed it. Something else. Another thing, an animal, alive, but…hungry. Yes, there was something else in the garden, something that was searching desperately for food-

Lloyd turned, staring at a bush, where a pair of bright yellow eyes looked back at him. Despite the size of the eyes, the body attached to it was much smaller. A kitten, a lone kitten, crouched, hiding under the bush, eying him, eying the bird in his hand. Its tail swished, slowly, and he could feel how much effort it took. The kitten hadn't eaten lately, it was hungry, and from the looks of it, it hadn't eaten well for a very long time now.

In what felt like slow motion, Lloyd turned, placing the dead chick in front of the bush and withdrawing his hands. The kittens ears perked, its eyes going from the chick to him then back. For a couple minutes they sat in silence before the little animal crawled out from the bush, sniffing the dead bird. It hobbled and Lloyd realized its leg was hurt, broken maybe, at least sprained. It hobbled slowly to the bird despite its bad leg then quickly began to devour it.

That was it, then…

He didn't…get it, but he got it. It made sense but he couldn't…really wrap his mind around it. Gently he began to stroke the kittens back, the animal nearly swiped at him but then stopped, a soft purr coming from it as it met his eyes. Weakly he smiled back at it, gently petting its back, eying its leg as it ate.

"…You I can help," he half-muttered under his breath.

His hand slipped to the wounded leg and instantly it set back into place, the kitten jerking up, meowing in surprise as it turned its head to stare at its back leg, moving it.

"There…" he whispered, smiling a bit more. "There you go…you'll be all right now. Go on...finish up then get along."

He stood, turning his back on the kitten and the dead bird. For some reason he felt oddly tired again. In a daze he returned to his room in the mansion and took off his boots, gloves and jacket, simply sliding back into bed and closing his eyes.

* * *

The next thing he knew there was a knock on the door.

"Lloyd! Come on, are you going to sleep all day? It's ten already!" Genis called in. "Are you all right in there?"

Ten-? Wait, huh-?

He sat up, shaking his head, staring out the window at the sun already climbing higher into the sky, his clothes in the same spots he had left them when he had gone to bed the night before. With a groan he put a hand to his head, shaking it, eyes scrunched up. What-…had…had that really happened? Had he dreamed all that? About the garden, the bird, the cat? Had he really…?

"Lloyd?"

"I- I'm up! I'm up, I'm coming," he said, getting out of bed and going about getting dressed.

He frowned, hurrying to meet his friends but unable to stop thinking about the…occurrence. Had he really dreamed that? It felt so real, but…but he had been in bed and- and seriously when was the last time he woke up at sunrise? Never. That was crazy, but he had…but…no, no it was probably a dream. It didn't come clearly, and he had woken up too…abruptly? He didn't know the word for it. It was strange but he didn't have time to think about it right then anyway.

They had to get to Sybak.

* * *

He wasn't very happy to see who was waiting for them.

"Kratos-? What are you- can't you just leave us alone-?"

The Seraph strode right up to Lloyd, ignoring the others, frowning as he scanned the dual swordsman.

"How are you coping?"

"I'd be 'coping' a lot better if you'd tell me what you knew," Lloyd replied harshly, not in the mood to deal with the man.

"…" Kratos closed his eyes, letting out a small sigh before he walked past him.

"Wait-!"

"If you pursue this you will most likely regret it, Lloyd, just remember that."

Lloyd went to say something but stopped, eying the man as he simply left them. He could've pursued him, maybe but what would have been the point of it? The man wasn't going to answer his questions, and he didn't need him to. Kate said she'd tell them what they knew, and they had to get there for Presea anyway.

He would just try not to think about it.

They used the secret passageway to get back into the basement lab where Kate and her companion turned to face them. Kate looked surprised to see Raine and Genis, but her eyes still settled more on Lloyd. Before the group could speak up, the half-elf woman did.

"You really do have half-elf friends, I-…I admit I'm not that surprised anymore," she said, eying Lloyd. "I just didn't think it could really be possible…"

"Why? Why is it so hard to believe humans and half-elves could be friends? All of us our friends," Lloyd said.

"I-…yes, I see," she said, frowning. "As agreed, I'll tell you how to cure Presea-"

"Thank you, but what about Lloyd?" Raine spoke up. "They said when they were here last time you told him that you knew what was going on with him."

"Going…on?" Kate frowned. "I don't quite get what you mean. I…yes I suppose I know what he is but don't the rest of you?"

"What I am? What do you mean 'what' I am-…" Lloyd frowned, thinking a moment.

"…I don't-"

"We don't know," he cut her off, looking at her again. "None of us know 'what' I am. Weird things have been happening to me since- for a while, we know it has something to do with summon spirits and 'Cenon' but that's about it."

Kate frowned deeply, seeming to consider something as she scanned Lloyd.

"You don't- know? You really don't? Or are you just…saying that, because of them?" she asked, eying the rest of the group.

"What? Of course I don't know! That's why we're here- I mean to help Presea too, of course, but also because we want to know what's going on with me. You know something, you said you'd tell us!"

Kate's frown deepened, pushing her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. She seemed to consider something a moment before she walked to the bookshelf , searching through the heavy texts before pulling out a weathered old manuscript.

"How much do you know about spirits?"

"Summon spirits supply mana to the world, control their mana type, are comprised of that same mana type, and are capable of being summoned," Raine supplied. "There is a spirit corresponding to each element in addition to some more…advanced spirits that oversee the elementals, correct?"

"Yes, exactly," Kate nodded. "Which of the advanced spirits do you know of?"

"Origin and Maxwell," Sheena said.

"Those are the only two that we know for sure still exist in our world." Kate opened the book, flipping through it. "The further back you look into history, they speak of more such spirits, though of course they vanished so long ago and there is not enough evidence to suggest they were ever real."

"Really? Like what?" Genis asked.

"There was a spirit that apparently guarded the gates of Neflheim, Ratatosk," Kate explained as she continued flipping through the book. "Then there was one they talked of called 'Verius', what exactly that one represented though is very hard to say. There was a fifth one…one that the old tales say was one of if not the most powerful."

"More powerful than Origin? That doesn't make much sense does it? I mean Origin is supposed to be like the king and all, right?" Zelos said.

"Yes well…there's no solid evidence to really go on, but…"

Kate paused, evidently having found the page she was looking for. She scanned it, then eyed Lloyd, turning the book so they could see as she held it open.

"Does this image look familiar to you at all?"

Lloyd choked.

It was him, the reflection, the 'Cenon' reflection. The illustration was very faded, it had been colored at one point too in all likelihood. All the remained now was the billowing cloak around a faded figure of dark armor. What made it recognizable was the eyes. Whatever substance they had used to bring about that texture and color to the eyes, he had no idea, but there it was. The eyes were rimmed with chocolate brown, swirling into a pupil-less mass of milky white that glistened in the light.

"Cenon, Spirit of Life and Death," Kate stated. " The 'Patron of the Living and Guide of the Deceased'. Like many spirits, in the ancient past he was revered as a god by more primitive cultures…though if he truly is what the stories claim, compared to us he might as well be a god."

"Life and..death…" Lloyd muttered.

That made sense. It made a lot of sense. Why he sensed the things he did, why things like exspheres caused that horrible feeling, why when he had died-…he had died and…come back. Still- still that didn't…

"I- I still don't get it, I-"

"You've seen him haven't you?"

"I've BEEN him!" Lloyd said, frustrated. "I've turned into him like- twice now-"

"Three times," Genis mumbled.

Lloyd flinched.

"Three-? When did I-?"

"In Meltokio, when Yuan was saying that stuff about Dirk…"

Lloyd didn't get much time to think about that, because Kate had said something that caught his attention far more efficiently.

"So you aren't Cenon pretending to be human?"

"What?" Lloyd whipped his head around. "That's- what? Why would a summon spirit pretend to be a human?"

"The legends say that Cenon would often take the form of a human or humanoid being, to travel amongst mankind," Kate said as she eyed him. "But you…if you were really Cenon you wouldn't have allowed yourself to be caught, much less play ignorant about it."

"So what exactly is your theory then, Kate?" Raine frowned, eying Lloyd as well. "We've known Lloyd since his was very young, he never displayed any strange qualities like this until just recently, when he…well, he died."

Kate's eyes widened.

"He died? What do you mean- he died? Really? Died and now he's…?"

Lloyd fidgeted, trying to ignore the creeping uncomfortable feeling in his gut. Suddenly he didn't want to hear anymore about this-

"Have you considered that perhaps he's been possessed?"

**Ah, speculation, speculation everywhere. Poor group still is so confused about what's going on. Mwahahahah  
Hopefully you all will be too for a little longer (evil laughter)**

**Hope you enjoyed**


	15. Chapter 15

**All righty then let's see what's going on in my head…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

"How?! How could something just- just get into my body like that? Spirit or not, that's-"

"From what I can derive from this book, Cenon vanished during the Ancient War, am I right?" Raine interrupted, eying Kate. "How could such an important spirit never be heard of again, if it really existed? And even if it did 'vanish' why would it need to take a host, why now, why Lloyd?"

"I don't know," Kate shook her head, pushing up her glasses. "You-…you can take the book with you if you want, you shouldn't stay here long. As for Presea, you should see a dwarf near Ozette, Altessa, he was the one that helped with the project."

"Wait a second, you can't just expect me to leave after-" Lloyd began.

"I hear people coming," Colette said, frowning. "We need to go, Kate will be in trouble if we're found here, won't she?"

Lloyd hesitated, biting his lip. For a moment the others were sure he'd protest but were pleasantly surprised when he nodded instead.

"All right, thanks for everything Kate, we'll go so you don't get in trouble."

They did such, fleeing from the building as well as the University Town heading north to the Gaorrachia forest. Not to say it was a silent journey, as soon as they had gotten safely away from the city, they continued their conversation.

"Everything fits," Raine spoke up, already going through the book again. "Well, nearly everything. The control of tree roots and elements fits with what we've seen, the description, even the strange 'sense' he's developed…but it doesn't explain why a summon spirit would want him dead. Undine tried to kill him, why would she do that if he was serving as a host for a fellow spirit?"

"It doesn't make sense anyway," Lloyd said flatly.

He frowned as the words left his mouth and the others eyed him.

"What do you mean? It makes perfect sense," Genis said, biting his lip. "Luna even said 'Cenon' , didn't she? And we've all seen it ourselves, Cenon's real, and he's possessing-"

"That's not how possession works," Lloyd cut him off, glancing to the side. "If I was possessed wouldn't I-…be…I would have another person in my head, another mind, a voice…and it'd be trying to always control me. I haven't felt anything like that."

The group responded with nervous glances and more concerned looks, Raine in particular.

"Lloyd how on earth do you know that's what it's like? Yes there's records- vague ones, mind you, of such things happening but even if they were true how on earth would you know about it?"

"I-..I don't know," he shook his head. "It's just, the only thing I've ever had even close to that were those mem-…"

"Memories?" Raine finished, rounding on him. "What do you mean, Lloyd? What memories?"

The teen stiffened, backing away, feeling nervous suddenly.

"I- They weren't memories, they were just weird dreams, I-"

"Lloyd."

He stopped, looking them over. He was getting so tired of this, the looks on their faces, the fear, the worry, the suspicion…it's not like any of this was his fault. Of course he understood why they were acting like this but how was it helping him? It just made him feel nervous, nauseated. Still…

"All right…I'll…tell you about them."

So he did, as they walked he told them of the strange dreams he had of the boy talking to Kratos and the little girl in the forest. He nearly told them about the bird and the cat but couldn't quite bring himself to; he didn't know how to really explain what that…felt, not yet. It wasn't as if he needed to tell them anything else, given their expressions.

"Lloyd that's just further evidence, there's no other explanation," Raine said. "Why and how it happened is a different story-"

"Shouldn't we be focusing on what to do with it now though?" Sheena cut her off. "Or how to stop it or reverse it or whatever?"

"Why?"

The single word was so sharp, so flat that the group stopped walking, staring at the red-headed Chosen, whom didn't bat an eye at their incredulous looks. Zelos didn't even remove his hands from his lax position on the back of his head, his blue eye scanning them.

"What has it done that's actually hurt anything? From what I can see, other than drawing unwanted attention, all it's done is save our asses," he said, slipping his hands down into his pockets. "Saved us at the bridge, made those two angels too terrified to attack us…and from the sounds of it, it's been saving your skins since before I met up with you. So it makes the spirits a little wacky, so what? It hasn't hurt Bud there, apparently it hasn't tried to control him, it only shows up when we're about to get screwed up. So how does this sound like a problem? I can't be the only one that thinks this is an asset, can I?"

"Zelos! That's horrible!" Genis scoffed, obviously unhappy with the thought.

"How? Am I wrong? Hell even he doesn't seem to be as concerned about it as you all are."

Lloyd flinched, his eyes widening just a bit as he stared at the grass. Wait- was he right? Was he really more okay with this than everyone else? No- no that was ridiculous, of course he was terrified-…wasn't he? Actually ever since he had heard of the spirit Cenon- what it was, what it did he had felt rather…relieved. Relieved…how could he possibly feel relieved? It didn't make any sense, or was it he was just so tired of being worried and frightened he had just stopped doing it?

"I'll grant that it hasn't seemed…well other than what it's putting Lloyd through it hasn't seemed hostile or dangerous," Raine allotted with a small frown. "And from what remains in the book the spirit Cenon was always revered as a benevolent spirit, though…he's the spirit of death as well as life; that is not something we should simply shrug off."

"How much is in that book? I mean, maybe we should make sure we've gotten everything out of it before we start drawing conclusions," Genis said.

"It will be getting dark soon anyway." Colette frowned, her hands clasped together. "Maybe we should just stop and set up camp? It's been a long day and everyone could use the rest…"

Her blue eyes glanced over to Lloyd's and the dual swordsman knew it was him she wanted to have some time to rest. A faint smile crossed his lips and he nodded.

"Yeah…if it's all right with you guys, I know we have things to do but-"

Raine quite suddenly snapped the book shut with an audible thud of paper on paper, a deep frown creasing her brow. Before anyone could inquire about the action she spoke up.

"Yes, let's all settle down for the night. We don't have any new leads on that scenario and the leads we do have for Presea are something that we can only tackle with time. We should all rest up and attempt to tackle our problems in the morning."

Lloyd gratefully busied himself setting up camp. His dad had always sad that the best thing for a troubled mind was a lot of hard work, got the brain off it and relieved stress, he said. So Lloyd busied himself with getting firewood and assisting with every little thing that would catch his eye. When that ran out of tasks for him he excused himself to the side to go train. He had been neglecting it lately, given all that was going on, so he had to catch up anyway…

It getting his mind off things was just a bonus.

For a while, a blessed while, he didn't think about anything at all. He pushed himself hard, aware of how his muscles were aching and his breathing was labored, aware of the sweat on his brow and clinging to his clothes. Even despite it he ignored it, he could've gone on forever he was sure, if he hadn't been interrupted.

"Lloyd?"

He stopped, blinking as he panted, staring off into the horizon. The teen shook his head then turned to Colette who stood there frowning at him.

"Lloyd it's late. You should get some sleep," she said.

"I…yeah…" he said, surprised by how out of breath he was, surely he hadn't trained that much?

"Lloyd…"

"I'm okay, just tired." He sheathed his swords, nodding at her. "I'll go to bed now…you do the same, all right?"

She smiled.

"Of course."

He actually fell asleep quickly and slept very well. It was a deep, dreamless sleep. When he woke up again things almost felt normal…well aside from the group he was traveling with. Scanning his friends he frowned at Zelos, proof they were not in their own world and felt even more distressed at the lack of Kratos and the memory of the Seraph's betrayal and strange actions. Then there was Presea- He winced, looking away. Just looking at her…it made him feel sick, like Colette had when she had lost her soul…

Nothing was really ever going to be normal again, was it?

He sighed, getting to his feet and strapping on his swords as he thought quietly to himself.

They had to focus on saving Presea first, that was the priority. They would save Presea and then find a way to stop the two worlds from feeding off each other. That was it, just that, he had to take everything one step at a time and there was no other way he was going to any further. For a while, that thought gave him a sort of peace and things almost felt normal for a while…

Until they got to the forest.

He felt it despite how he stubbornly tried to ignore the creeping sensation up his back, the churning in his stomach. The closer they got the more he felt it, this forest was…wrong, something about it just wasn't…it almost felt like the exsphere at the bridge. It felt like he was looking at something that appeared normal, but just under the skin was being ravaged by unnatural parasites. It wasn't as…bad, as the bridge but it was still unsettling.

The trees were fine, they looked a little strange but they were healthy, functioning, doing everything a tree should do. The plant-life under the thick canopy was sparse, but that was to be expected given that the trees blocked out a lot of the light. Of course, sparse foliage on the floor meant less animals on the forest floor, but the insects, small mammals and birds would have no trouble living up in the trees. In fact a lot of the plants toward the bottom had adapted to grow in little to no light.

His stomach flipped at the thought, with a strange mix of excitement and pride. Yes, the plants had grown in an environment where plants were never supposed to survive- but they didn't just survive, they prospered. It was such a beautiful, inspiring thing, that life took hold and flourished in places where it should have been impossible to do so-

Wait. Something was…wrong…

He whipped around and drew out a blade on instinct, knocking back a monster that had emerged from the trees. It almost looked human, hunched over with a hood, glowing eyes in the dark face and gripping what appeared to be a coffin on its back. Still he'd fought humanoid monsters before, this shouldn't be any different-

He screamed.

He screamed, shouting in rage at the top of his lungs, hacking away mercilessly at the monster and its companions. His pulse pounded in his ears, his entire body shook with fury which he didn't understand, he was seeing red, felling the creatures as quickly as he could with the vehemence of a person instinctively flailing to get a spider or snake off of their body. Quick he did dispatch them, in fact it was so quick that when he turned to his companions they only had their weapons half out, staring at him.

Lloyd tried to catch his breath, looking at them and then at the group of monsters he had killed, his knees wobbling. What…

"It's because they're undead," a voice said.

Years.

Lloyd whipped around, sword at the ready as Yuan emerged from the trees, a Renegade on each side of him.

"Put the swords down, Lloyd, I already made it clear I'm not going to use force with you all," the angel said, frowning.

"Which is why you bring guards?" Raine retaliated.

"We're in the middle of a monster infested forest, of course I brought guards, I'm not an idiot."

Raine frowned a bit, considering what to do. Lloyd however had already decided that he cared more about what Yuan had to say than any threat he posed.

"Undead, what do you mean by that?" he demanded, unaware of the authority that carried in his voice.

"Exactly what I said," Yuan replied, walking forward to one of the corpses, scanning it. "Undead. They aren't alive."

"What you mean like lifeless beings? Like exspheres?" Genis asked.

"No. They're not alive. They're dead but they aren't dead. They're dead masquerading as living things."

Yuan's emerald eyes lifted, locking with Lloyd's.

"They spit in the face of the natural order of things, they're abominations, mistakes. Usually when anything dies it re-enters the cycle, decomposes, becomes food for other things, as you know. These things-" He kicked one slayed monster. "Do not. They die, but the bodies continue to function even though they decay. It's a mystery for the most part, why that happens, though it seems to happen in areas dense with dark mana…"

Lloyd frowned and went to speak; Yuan cut him off.

"Cenon just hates it," he finished curtly, eyes locked on Lloyd's face.

"Cut to the chase," Raine snapped. "What do you want?"

"Yeah, you think the ass-kicking you got last time would've given you the hint to leave us alone," Zelos added with a smirk.

The angel's eyes narrowed but he ignored Zelos' comment, looking at Raine instead.

"Given your reactions I'm gathering you know what Cenon is now?" His arms crossed over his chest. "Given you're not demanding I clarify my earlier statement."

"Yeah, we know," Sheena eyed him.

"Well that saves some explanation at least, now then…as for what I want. Well isn't it obvious? If Yggdrasill gets his hands of the spirit of life and death, how do you think that'll go over? Hm?"

"So Cenon is possessing Lloyd?" Colette frowned.

Yuan arched a brow, eying them all a moment in silence. He scanned them all, considering, as if unsure how to answer the question.

"Possessing? Hm..well..I suppose it's a possibility."

"What do you mean a possibility?" Genis scoffed. "What else could it be?"

"It's not important, all you need to know is that if Yggdrasill gets Lloyd and therefore, Cenon, any aspirations you had of saving the two worlds is crushed. Surely you understand that?"

"So what makes you think he'll be safer with you than with us?" Sheena snapped, placing her hands on her hips.

Lloyd sheathed his swords, somehow drawing the attention of all present.

"I'm not going with you," he answered flatly. "Leave."

"Don't be foolish, as long as you're with this group you're a target-"

"I'm already a target, I'm not leaving them."

Lloyd just looked at the Renegade, thinking back to just the other night at Zelos' mansion, when he had almost killed him. It was hard to see him as a threat now, hard to imagine him trying to force him away or hurt them. He had felt every cell in his being, felt just how fragile it was. Well, not as fragile as most…he was indeed powerful, far more durable than the average person, but it still would've been so easy to snuff him out like a candle. He knew it and he knew Yuan knew it. The Seraph frowned but turned on heel.

"Fine then, but consider this carefully, Lloyd. I'll be back to ask you again; word of advice in the meantime…learn how to suppress it. If you don't, you won't be the only one that pays the price."

And just like that he and his men were gone, vanished back into the forest.

Lloyd frowned, looking down at the monster corpses again, thinking over what Yuan had said. Undead…an abomination, something spitting in the face of the natural order of life and death; yes that sounded like something that'd piss off a spirit that controlled life and death. In fact it pissed him off, just looking at the monsters- even if they were genuinely dead now- made his pulse pound and his teeth grit.

"Lloyd?" Colette's voice came, her hand gently touching his shoulder.

He turned away from the monsters, looking at her and the others before turning back to the path.

"We should get going, I don't want to stay here longer than we have to."

There were no disagreements.

**Hee **

**Happy New Year peoples!**

**Review for the poor writer? (Puppy eyes)**


	16. Chapter 16

**I love this fic…in case you haven't realized it, hee**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

He hated this place with every fiber of his being and had he been able to cast magic he would have been inclined to burn it to the ground. The ashes would nourish new plants anyway.

"Uh, Lloyd-?"

"What?!"

He turned on heel, snapping down at the silver-haired boy who back-stepped, going pale as he stared up at him.

"I- I mean…" He took a deep breath, rubbing his face. "I mean…what is it?"

"A- Are you okay? You're shaking and-"

"No I'm not. Let's get out of here."

His head was pounding, how long had they been here? Were they almost out? It couldn't be too much further to Ozette and Altessa, right? Oh good, there was a fork in the path up ahead, maybe that meant they were almost out, it even felt a bit better as they drew closer, he felt like weights were gradually being lifted from him-

He stopped.

"I hear something," Colette said before he could realize what he felt. "Footsteps…coming from that direction. And…armor? I think?"

"Oh crap, the Papal Knights are probably trying to ambush us," Zelos huffed. "Great, the old bat won't quit will he?"

"I'll send Corrine out to scout," Sheena said, the spirit jumping off from her shoulders and rushing down the path.

"Get your weapons out," Lloyd said abruptly. "We have company."

"What? But they still sound far away-" Colette began.

Lloyd looked up into the branches, a sword already drawn as a large muscle-bound man with blue hair and prisoners clothes jumped into their midst.

"Hey! It's you!" Genis shouted.

"Do you know him?" Lloyd frowned.

"You were unconscious when we ran into him, Lloyd," Raine explained, eying the man. "We went through the sewers to get into the city, because the knights were on watch for us and wouldn't let us in. We had hoped Kratos and Yuan wouldn't follow us through there but they just ended up catching us when we got to Zelos' mansion."

"I mean you no harm," the man said. "Please, I only wish to speak to that girl."

"You mean Presea?" Zelos raised a brow.

"Yes, please-"

"You attacked us!" Genis scowled.

"I cannot speak for the others but I at least never intended to take your lives, my orders were to retrieve a girl named Colette. That is not important now, the only thing I want from you all is to speak with ..Presea, correct?"

"You really think we're going to believe that-?"

Lloyd sheathed his sword without blinking, the others staring at him as if he had lost his mind completely.

"Lloyd-?!"

"He's telling the truth," he responded flatly, his eyes locked on the man. "He-…there's no…aggression. I don't feel any dang-…"

He shook his head, putting a hand to it, closing his eyes.

"I- look if he wants to talk to Presea we can sort this out after we get out of these woods, we can't stay here long, right? So let's sort this out once we're out of here."

"Normally I wouldn't agree to this but we do need to hurry out of here," Raine said, eyeing Lloyd and the blue-haired man.

"Sheena, Sheena!"

Corrine scurried back into the clearing, jumping up onto Sheena's shoulder.

"There's a lot of soldiers coming this way! Run away!"

"Colette was right then," the ninja said with a frown. "All right, I guess we have no choice…I'm going to take you guys to Mizuho."

"Mizuho? Woah woah, isn't that forbidden to us? I mean you're from there, Sheena, but-" Zelos began.

"We don't have a choice. Besides…" Sheena hesitated, eying Lloyd. "There's something there I think you all should see."

"Huh? Like what?" Colette frowned.

"We can discuss it later," Raine said, turning to the convict with a frown. "Lloyd, Zelos, make sure he doesn't do anything suspicious. We'll figure it out when we get to the village. Go ahead, Sheena, lead on."

"Okay," Sheena said. "Everyone, follow me, let's hurry."

* * *

Mizuho felt strange too.

Lloyd blinked, staring off into the pink blossoms of one of the trees as the branches swayed in the wind. This place was different than Meltokio, it felt…more serene. It still seemed…'loud', though, people, going about their lives, the ruckus of daily activity- maybe it was that there were more plants here? There was a fair amount of greenery, trees, shrubs, bushes, grass…

"He's spaced out again," he heard a voice say, but didn't pay it much mind.

"Seriously? This entire conversation and he wasn't even listening? Oh come on, I don't want to have to talk this over again."

"Does he do that often?"

"Well if you're going to be tagging along with us, you'll see for yourself…"

The group frowned, eying the red-clad swordsman warily. He was standing there, staring off into the trees, not batting an eye, his eyes misted over yet somehow seemed strangely focused. They were already worried about him enough as it was and this little 'spacing out' spells were becoming more and more frequent. When they had decided that Regal was to continue to accompany them and that he should be of use, namely, fighting, he had voiced his agreement but that was the last he participated in the discussion as the group debated whether or not the decision was wise as well as postulated on whether Sheena was going to be punished for bringing them to the village.

"What do you think is happening to him, Professor?" Colette asked, biting her lip. "I mean, Kate said that was her idea but what do you think?"

Raine sighed, flipping open the old manuscript she had received in Sybak and scanning a few pages, her lips pursed in a frown.

"Well it's indisputable that he has some kind of connection with Cenon, though what exactly it is I'm not sure. While possession is the most concrete theory at the moment, what Lloyd said actually does make sense. It doesn't seem to add up, though- if what Sheena knows is true- he's not a summoner, Yuan also seemed certain that he wasn't."

"Cenon? Is that not a myth?" Regal rose a brow.

"You've heard of it?" Genis asked skeptically, eying the man. "I thought that was really obscure here."

"I was a rather big fan of mythology when I was younger," he stated. "I enjoyed reading up on legends of folklore, I suppose you could say I was a bit of a…'nerd'."

"Somehow I find that hard to imagine, maybe it's that you're the size of a tank and you're in handcuffs," Zelos remarked, scanning Regal.

"Nevermind that," Raine cut in. "Well then, Regal, would you care to tell us what you know about it?"

"In olden days, predating the Ancient War even, there were many accounts of an obscure but powerful spirit that apparently was the embodiment of all forms of life and the balances between them and death." Regal responded flatly. "According to legend, Cenon usually abided in a sacred forest called 'the Eden' and rarely ever showed himself to the outside world, though there were many stories about him posing as a human being and interfering in human affairs."

"That is about what we know if it as well." Raine bit her lip. "Except for that …forest, 'Eden' you called it? We haven't heard anything about that, there's a vague mention of a 'garden' in this book but…"

"It was said that it was a place where every kind of life that existed, past or present, lived, very strange, large and colorful plants and exotic creatures. Apparently it was nearly impossible for people to get there-"

"A forest…."

They looked at Lloyd, who had finally spoken, he had frowned, finally pulling his gaze from the trees.

"A forest with strange plants…where people were not supposed to go…"

"Wait, didn't Bud here say something about having some weird dream with a weird forest and some little girl?" Zelos said, narrowing his eyes a bit.

"I-"

"Visitors from Sylvarant," Orochi suddenly appeared before them in a puff of smoke. "The Vice-Chief will see you now, please head over to the building across the brook."

Lloyd didn't hesitate, heading off where he had indicated. He knew the others wanted to talk about it more but he honestly was getting sick of all the talking. Besides, if it was really so important they could just bring it up again after they had talked with the Vice-Chief. They entered the room when called and situated themselves down in the room. Sheena sat beside the man, her head hung a bit and making her expression rather hard to read.

"Travelers from Sylvarant, I am Vice-Chief Tiga," the man introduced himself. "Sheena has informed me of her time spent with you and I must say I am rather…intrigued. She tells me that you wish to find a way to save the two worlds. However, to that I must ask..what is it you plan to do in Tethe'Alla, land of your enemies? What is your goal?"

"That's basically it," Lloyd said. "We know that the two worlds feed off each other, that one is sacrificed for the other. There's no way to make it so no one suffers, how it is now."

The teen frowned, closing his eyes a moment.

"And it's..not right. I know the way things are right now there is no way to save both worlds, but that's exactly the problem then, isn't it? I've been thinking about this…and I know that must be the answer."

"And what is this answer?"

"If the world we live in doesn't allow for it to be possible, we change the world."

Tiga laughed a bit, shaking his head.

"You speak of it as if it is easy."

"It is," he responded flatly, meeting Tiga's eyes.

The smile fell from the older man's face and he eyed the swordsman skeptically, as did all his friends.

"Well effort-wise, no, it's not easy. Nothing that's worth accomplishing is easy, but that's the way life is," he said, an odd spark coming to his eyes. "It's chaotic, imperfect, unfair, but the hard parts are necessary, beneficial, even. An animal doesn't become tougher without hardship, a diamond doesn't form without unbearable heat and pressure, a person learns best how to help others through hardship and appreciate peace through that hardship."

He closed his eyes, exhaling deeply.

"It's hard and cruel sometimes, but one thing is certain. If something is never tried, if it's never fought for, then of course it will never come to be. If you try and you fail, then you find a new thing to try, nothing ever really ends it just gets carried on, it may change, but it was significant."

His eyes snapped open, the spark back in his eyes.

"I know there's no such thing as a perfect world, I know there's no way to make it so no one ever has to suffer. That's why wherever I can I have to do the best I can to change what's in my power to make life better, for everyone. Yggdrasill 'made' the world like this, fine, so if he can do it why can't we?"

"You are an idealist," Tiga smiled a bit. "You speak like the Hero, Mithos-"

"I'm not Mithos," he said, surprising himself how quickly he made the statement. "I want to save the two worlds my way, with the help of my friends. With anyone's help we can get, because it's not just our world, it's everyone's world."

"Which world do you mean?"

"The world," he said. "Both of them, just because they're separated doesn't mean they aren't connected. They affect each other, we all know that, so it's not that it's one world or the other we're fighting for. The world is both of them and we all live in it and we all need to fight to make it better."

Tiga looked back at him for what felt like a long while. Lloyd didn't falter, looking back, waiting for the man to answer. Slowly he did, frowning.

"Tell me then, Lloyd…all of you, what do you know of our village? Of its culture, of how it was founded?"

"Not much," Zelos said with a shrug. "Sheena's kept most of that secret, isn't that what she was supposed to do?"

"Yes, you see, our village was founded 4000 years ago, toward the end of the Ancient War; the deity our people offer up praise to, that we look to for guidance is known as 'Jizou' in our tongue."

"That is very interesting and we thank you for telling us of your culture," Raine said, eying him. "With all due respect however, what does it have to do with our current situation?"

"I think it will be in your best interest to hear the legend," he said, closing his eyes. "You see…our village originally was nothing but a gathering of refugees from the war. People from many backgrounds that fled the fighting, seeking a safe place to call home. Eventually they found a place they believed they would not be bothered and they settled. However, soon one of the armies had found the small settlement and for reasons lost to history, began to attack the village."

Tiga opened his eyes again, scanning the group before his eyes fell on Lloyd.

"Mithos the Hero and his companions allegedly were present at the time, of his group there was a youth. When the attack began, the villagers were being slaughtered despite the heroes' best efforts. It was then that according to legend the youth revealed his true form, a being of immense power and mana that single-handedly ended the attack and saved our people. It was this being our people gave the name 'Jizou'."

"And this is your people's god?" Raine asked, raising a brow in curiosity.

"Yes. Jizou was founder and savoir of our people, wise and compassionate as well as dangerous and wrathful. We do not 'worship' him as those that worship Martel do, we know he is not almighty, we know he is not the highest power that exists, but he is the most divine entity our people, or any people, have ever or will ever come into contact with."

"I see…" Raine furrowed her brow, thinking.

"So yeah, like she said, what does this have to do with anything?" Zelos huffed, though despite his attitude the look in his eyes said he was curious.

" 'Jizou' in our tongue means 'Life and Death', in your language it would most accurately translate to 'Cenon'."

Lloyd felt something inside him snap; akin to that feeling one gets when they've been attempting to recall something for a long period of time with no luck and then suddenly, it came back to them, clear as day. Images raced through his mind, the sounds, the scents, the feelings all sharp and clear. The village had been burning, the fields, the people, there had been screams, cries, and he had been angry. So angry. Then-

He let out a slow, deep breathe, his eyes closed, feeling oddly calm suddenly; at peace, as if he had just woken from a deep and comfortable sleep.

Their heartbeats were like music, thrumming gently, percussion to the symphony of life all around them. He felt like he could just sit there and listen for eternity. He knew there were other matters at hand, however…

His eyes opened.

Tiga was pale, staring at him, as was Sheena and likely everyone else in the room. Corrine was poised on Sheena's shoulder, growling at him. He frowned, bringing up his hand before his eyes to look at it. A black gauntlet gleaming like volcanic glass, it looked so fragile, he did not doubt its strength though, he knew better.

"Lloyd?!"

"Jizou…" Tiga whispered, stunned.

"Well that was not expected," he said flatly, looking at his hand. "I- …no actually, I suppose it does make sense given what you just told me about."

He clenched and unclenched his hand, scanning it then setting it down, locking eyes with Tiga.

"So you really are using that boy as a host?" Tiga asked, frowning.

"No."

"D- Don't lie! What are you doing in our friend! Get out of him!"

He frowned slightly, his white eyes sweeping over to the young half-elven boy. Genis had gotten to his feet, reaching for his kendama, shaking noticeably but glaring at him.

"What have you done to Lloyd?! How did you take control of him?!"

He just looked at him, the trembling but determined little boy. His heart was racing, he was sweating, adrenaline coursing through his system, mana from his exsphere seeping through his body aiding his abilities should he choose to use them. The boy was terrified, angry, confused…

"Answer me!"

"I am not 'controlling' anyone," he said calmly.

Then he sensed it, in the corner behind the curtain. He rose to his feet with no effort, walking over to the bedded area and pulling the curtain aside with one fluid motion, looking down.

"Jizou," Tiga spoke up. "That is our Chief Igaguri, he would speak on our behalf but he has been in a coma for-"

"Twelve years five months three weeks and three hours," he cut him off, not taking his eyes off the aged man at his feet. "One moment."

"One- moment? I don't understand-"

He knelt down and placed his hand on the old man's head. The boy still lived but it was rather like…it was muffled. The others he could 'hear' fine, pulsing, pounding, beating; Igaguri sounded more like a steady, muffled hum. It was easy enough to remedy; all he needed was a little jump-start. The old man gasped, eyes opening and blinking rapidly. There were assorted sounds of shock, astonishment, disbelief.

"G- Grandfather?!" Sheena gasped.

He stepped back, letting the ninja rush past him to her grandfather's side. Once more he turned his eyes across the assembled group, sensing their hostility, their fear; it made things feel rather cramped to him, all that in such a small room.

"I'm going for a walk," he said simply, heading for the door.

"Wait! Stop ignoring us-!" Genis cut in front of him.

Then quite suddenly past Genis and at the Door, as if he'd just phased through the boy, he pushed open the door and walked outside, eyes scanning the surroundings. It was nice here, it smelled clean.

He knew he was being watched, knew all Mizuho's many eyes were focused on him now but it didn't matter much, they would not get in his way. It was a beautiful spot- the trees…the trees were in bloom, the flowers…

He didn't remember getting to the tree, but he did, reaching his hand up to gingerly stroke one of the fragile pink petals. A smile crept into his face, scanning the little flower. Such a beautiful thing….

"I don't care what you are," came Raine's voice from behind him. "We have questions and I intend to get answers out of you."

He didn't turn, didn't face her, his eyes scanning the pink flower, fingers gingerly touching the petals.

"I said-"

"I heard you. Ask."

He turned, looking down at the half-elven woman, meeting her blue eyes. She tensed, he felt her tense, felt her clamp down so as not to appear intimidated. She was always like that, always putting on a brave face when she was terrified…

"What have you done with Lloyd?" she demanded.

"Nothing," he replied.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, glaring up at him.

"Don't lie to me. What have you done with him? Who are you? You're Cenon, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"So then what have you done to Lloyd?"

"Nothing."

"You said you were Cenon," she snapped.

He nodded once.

"I am."

"Then you admit you're not Lloyd," Raine accused.

"I am."

"…You are what?" Raine crossed her arms. "Cenon? Or Lloyd?"

"I am."

"Which one?" the half-elf demanded, obviously frustrated.

Ah Raine, it was such a rare sight to see her flustered like this. Usually she only got frustrated when- …well, when he was involved yes but that was usually regarding schooling. Poor woman must constantly be at her wits end, she was not used to failing to accomplish her goals. It was driving her insane right now, he knew, that she couldn't' figure it out, couldn't understand.

He smiled, placing a hand atop her head. She flinched, frozen in place, staring up at him, stunned and alarmed.

"It's all right, Raine," he said.

He went to speak again, then suddenly, Raine seemed taller. The black-gauntlet was replaced with a red glove and Raine was staring at him as he slowly felt the color bleed from his face. He was standing there, with his hand on his teacher's head, like one would do to a small child. A mix of horror and embarrassment seized him and he pulled his hand back, withdrawing just a step, staring at her.

"…Lloyd?" Raine asked tentatively, unsure how to react.

"I-…I…" he looked around, his heart beating faster.

The trees, the pink flowers, the smell on the breeze, the water flowing-it was still there, all there, like it had been just a moment ago, just…softer, now. Not as…clear, not as sharp, but it was still there, all there. It was…fading, fading slowly, second by second, but-

He fell to his knees, hands against the ground, panting as he stared into the dirt. His pulse was pounding in his ears and he heard them, felt the rest of his friends surround him, unsure of what to do.

Those feelings though, the feelings of..everything, though they were fading they..he could still feel them. Pulsing, soothing, energizing…it felt good. It felt so, so good... His fingers curled into the ground, his throat tightening. He wanted to feel it again, he wanted more of it, he wanted- no.

No no no no! Oh Martel no! What was happening to him?!

"Lloyd?!"

"I need to make this stop," he whispered, shaking. "I need to find out what's going on! I need to make it stop!"

**Hee hee hee…oh poor Lloydie  
Review please? **** Not getting a lot of reviews lately..starting to think no one reads my stuff anymore…**


	17. Chapter 17

**I don't remember what chapter this is…uh…heh heh…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing still**

___Lloyd sat before Tiga and now the Chief Igaguri, Sheena sitting at the old man's side. It was incredible, beyond incredible according to Raine; the old Chief had been in a coma for years and the degradation to his body should've taken months, if not years of therapy before the old man could move on his own again. There he was, though, sitting there, dressed, looking as healthy as a man of his years could be. Lloyd was tense, his fingers curled on his lap, trying to keep eye contact while at the same time afraid to hold their gazes too long._

_ "I saw for myself the face of Jizou and he saw fit to bless me with his healing," Igaguri stated and Lloyd privately marveled on how such an old voice could ring so strong. "For that I am exceedingly grateful. However as I understand it no one is sure what exactly your connection is to Jizou, Lloyd. You claim you are not the spirit guised as a human but you also claim you are neither possessed nor a summoner. Is that correct?"_

"…_Yes," Lloyd nodded once. "I- at least, I think so."_

"_Sheena tells me Undine tried to take your life, correct?"_

"_Yes," Raine answered for him._

_ "Then it is clear to me that nothing is clear except the spirits know of his situation far better than we do," Igaguri deduced, frowning. "We of Mizuho will support you of course and put our efforts into finding the rheairds."_

_The man looked at Lloyd, scanning him intently for what felt like a long moment._

"_We will also attempt to locate the spirits in Tethe'alla, if you could find one you could speak with you may be able to discover what…you are."_

"_What he is?" Genis frowned. "He's human-…."_

_Lloyd's fists clenched tighter._

_ "It doesn't matter, we have more important things to worry about," he spoke up. "We still have to get Presea's crest fixed, we have time to do that before we figure out where to go to get the rheairds. So we'll do that and then after we get the rheairds …we'll cross that bridge when it comes to it."_

"_Indeed, we must take things as they come," Igaguri responded with a nod. "In the meantime I would like my granddaughter, Sheena to continue to accompany you."_

"_Are you sure?" Colette asked. "I mean…you just woke up and you're family, we understand if you want to stay together."_

_ "Yes, it's understandable…" Raine admitted. "We will need her again at some point, I'm sure, when we get the rheairds we'll need her to make the pact with Volt-"_

_Sheena visibly flinched; before anyone could inquire Igaguri spoke up again._

"_Yes, and it is my belief that you may find some of the answers your seek when you confront Volt. His language is…difficult for us, but if Jizou sees fit to inhabit you, Lloyd, I believe he will see it fit enough to allow you to communicate with the Spirit of Lightning."_

"How do you think Sheena's doing on her own?"

"I'm more worried about Presea right now, where did she run off to?"

"Most likely her home," Raine said matter of factly. "This is her town after all."

Lloyd twitched a bit, looking around, rubbing his neck before jerking again. He looked much like a squirrel, jerky, antsy, wary movements, like he couldn't sit still. His friends hesitated a moment before attempting to speak with him, but he cut them off.

"She's in a building down that way," he said, pointing down one wooden path. "There's a half-elf down there with her and- and there's…"

"A half-elf? I thought this village didn't…tolerate, half-elves," Regal frowned a bit. "That's very odd."

"There's something else in there," Lloyd said, rubbing his arm, gazing off down the path with misted eyes. "There's a- I can't…"

"Lloyd," Raine gently grabbed his arm. "It's all right, Lloyd, don't try to read into it. We'll be there in a minute. All right? We'll take care of it then."

"I- Y-yeah, yeah," he shook his head, eyes closed. "I just- I'm okay, I'm okay."

It was easy to find Presea, given how small the village was. The creepy half-elf man that was speaking with her did not stay long enough for them to draw much of a conclusion about him, but their focus was more on Presea, who slipped into her house without a word to them. Naturally, they followed.

"Presea?" Genis opened the door, walking in. "Presea where are you? What's going on."

Lloyd frowned, scanning the house. It was decaying, covered in dust, it didn't look like anyone had lived in it for years. There were spiders and mice living everywhere and termites were gnawing inside the beams. He didn't see them, but he knew they were there. They were and so was-… He turned to the open door that lead into the only room. Without a thought he simply turned and walked in right as Presea dashed in as well, to the bedside.

"Oh my g-" Raine gasped.

Lloyd looked at the skeleton in the bed, feeling oddly blank. He had been dead for years, he didn't need his 'sense' to tell him that, it was obvious by how much had been decayed away. There was no flesh left, some traces of hair tufts, but there was virtually nothing else.

"She doesn't even know that this person is dead, does she?" Sheena asked, pale as she looked at the vacant-eyed lumberjack.

"No…he or she must have died years ago-"

"He," Lloyd said flatly. "It was a man…we should bury him."

"Wait," Raine cut him off. "Presea might get hostile if we touch him, she doesn't realize he's dead."

"…Yeah."

He still felt blank, still felt like he was in a daze again. The others kept forcing him into the conversation, afraid that they would 'lose' him again. All fretted, but Colette despite her appearance was by far the most concerned. She wondered, if this was what the others felt like when she had lost her soul. Lloyd hadn't lost his soul so she figured it wasn't the same thing, but…it felt…like they had lost him. He was getting paler, she noticed, he always looked so tense and tired. She missed his lively grin and that spark in his eyes; a glaze had come to the brown orbs, bags were forming under his eyes.

It was odd though…despite the way he seemed to look more and more ill, there was still something…stronger about him. She couldn't sense mana as well as the Sages, but she could to a degree due to her angelic nature. Lloyd was getting strong; it was like...a young bull, growing into his prime but as if it was drugged, groggy, disoriented. It would pass though, the tired grogginess, and soon-…. It scared her, thinking what would happen after it passed. Were they going to lose him?

She kept her eyes on him for longer than she would admit. The girl half expected him to snap out of his stupor when they were turned away from Altessa's but he still just stared off, blankly, as if seeing something none of them could. It wasn't until the strange girl, Tabatha, mentioned inhibitor ore did he seem to come back to them.

"The crest isn't made from inhibitor ore? Why would-…where can we get some?"

"I-"

"Tabatha! What are you doing?! Get rid of them!" the dwarf snapped.

"I APOLOGIZE, I MUST GET BACK TO THE MASTER."

The group left without another word, not wanting to get into a spat with the stubborn dwarf. There would be no point in doing so, making him mad wouldn't help their cause.

"It looks like we're going to have to find some inhibitor ore," Genis said with a frown. "There's gotta be someplace we can find one, we can't leave Presea in that house like that-"

"Wait- Presea's back at the house?" Lloyd spoke up, shaking his head and scanning them.

The group silenced a moment, eying the swordsman. Colette frowned but quickly forced a supportive smile.

"Yes, Lloyd, don't you remember? We agreed that if we tried to make her come she would fight back…so we left her there until we can cure her."

"Oh- right, I guess- yeah I remember that, I was just a little- I blanked. So where can we find any ore? Is there any in Tethe'Alla?"

"I've heard that the mine in Toize Valley has inhibitor ore," Regal said.

"Toize? Altamira's on the way there isn't it? That place is awesome! We should stop by!" Zelos exclaimed with his trademark grin.

"We don't have time to stop by that gaudy resort!" Sheena snapped, hands on her hips.

"Agreed. We should focus our efforts into helping Presea right now." Raine nodded. "Let's get to this mine area. Regardless of whether or not we can get Altessa to help us we can't do anything unless we have the ore."

"I…I should be able to make a make-shift crest if we get the ore," Lloyd said.

Colette suppressed a sigh of relief. He was talking with them more and now he was thinking about what he could do. So that meant he was paying attention and cared about the conversation, good, she kept thinking that he would just…

"Well then it's settled, let's get going."

She wasn't the only one that was relieved to see Lloyd more together, and it seemed as if the others were more active in trying to keep him that way. Raine had him doing homework on the EC ride, it worried them when he didn't protest much but the familiar frustration worked its way onto his face as he was working on the sheets. He even put the effort into trying to get Genis to do it for him and was scolded by their teacher when he was caught. Everytime the swordsman's attention seemed to drift one of the Sages would snap at him, putting his attention back to the homework in an attempt to keep him distracted. He almost seemed normal as they entered the mines.

Colette didn't like it, it was dark and musty and cold, she never really liked places like this at all. It didn't get much better as they went further in; there was a ton of old mining equipment laying around, falling apart and unused. It almost felt like a graveyard, or a tomb, dark, dirty and with the old cranes and cables laying about like skeletons. It almost reminded her of those creepy woods. She nearly cringed at the thought, glancing over at Lloyd. To her relief he didn't seem all tense like he did in the forest, he even seemed to be a bit more attentive than he had been as of late. She almost relaxed, even. Until they got to the bridge.

Lloyd froze on the wooden rope bridge, staring at the side of the cave wall, frozen in his place heedless of the swaying bridge. Colette stopped, nervously glancing at the dark rock wall and then back at him.

"Lloyd? Lloyd is something wrong-?"

"Exspheres," Lloyd whispered, staring.

"Exspheres? Lloyd what do you mean?" she looked at the wall. "There's no-"

"This is an exsphere mine, isn't it? This is where they come from," Lloyd looked at Regal, his face paling.

"Oh…I heard they were mined, now that I think of it," Sheena frowned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You can sense them like you did on the bridge, Lloyd?" Raine eyed him

"They're different," Lloyd muttered, looking at the wall. "They're…"

They were alive, just like he had felt them the first time, but they were not as…They weren't 'sick', they didn't feel like parasites of human agony and loneliness. Now it was just the loneliness. They were… No. No he couldn't do this. Some part of him knew it, some part of him knew if he delved into it he would never come back out. He needed a distraction, he needed-

"Lloyd? Lloyd, look at me."

He blinked, glancing down into Colette's blue eyes. She pressed her hands on his cheeks, leaning his head down to look at her. A small but comforting smile came to her lips.

"It's okay, Lloyd. We're all right here, with you, okay? We're going to get Presea's crest fixed and help her, then we'll hurry and get out of here, right?"

She slipped one hand around to his, giving him a gentle tug to ease him along the bridge.

The young Chosen was determined, no matter what, she wasn't going to lose her friend.

**Sorry this is short and perhaps a bit tedious, but it was necessary. I'm going to get more into the exspheres when timing is right but if it's any consolation, next chapter should not only be long, but very, very eventful.**

**You'll even get concrete answers next chapter ;p **

**So think of this more as a set-up, hm? Next chapter will be fun ;p**


	18. Chapter 18

**Well this is the quickest update I've done in a while, huh? Neat**

**Disclaimer: still own nothing , people**

Lloyd winced, a shooting pain in his head and a groan escaping his mouth.

"He's coming to."

"I hope he's not too mad at us…"

The Sages voices, Raine and Genis were talking over him. What happened? He was dimly becoming aware of the others around him. He could feel them, the seven of them, all familiar and- wait, no. There were seven, but one of them wasn't the usual, so that meant one was missing- what had happened? He tried to remember as he struggled to open his eyes.

He had made the crest for Presea, or at least, the best that he could for the time being. The plan had been to get Altessa to make another crest, but that was all they could do for then. They had left in a hurry, trying to leave before he started 'feeling' into the exspheres again. On the way out they had run into a man who was apparently an exsphere broker, and he had called Regal a murderer- Things got fuzzy after that, he couldn't quite remember- oh, yes… They had talked about forgiveness, Colette had anyway. How they should give him a chance and…okay well he remembered that, but what happened after? Where was he?

Lloyd finally opened his eyes, blinking hazily. The Professor was frowning and Kratos-

Kratos!?

The teen's eyes snapped open, jerking upright and swearing when he felt the throbbing pain in the back of his head.

"Lloyd, calm down," Raine said firmly, grabbing his shoulder. "Take deep breathes."

"I- why is he here? Where are we? What happened?"

Lloyd looked around, realizing they were in a forest- no, Ozette. It was a village, he could feel it, the people, the trees, each one of his friends. No wait, one of them was different, and one was missing. Who was missing? Who-

"Colette!" He blurted, scanning his friends. "Where's Colette?!"

"Lloyd-"

Now he remembered, they had come to help Presea and something had happened to Colette, she had been in pain and fell. Then Presea said she could help and..Rodyle, Rodyle had taken Colette and he had…

"I'm sorry Lloyd, to go behind your back like this," Raine said with a frown. "You were about to change again when Colette got taken, so we knocked you out."

"You- you knocked me out?! Why?! Colette-"

"Lloyd, calm down," Kratos said, his voice the usual firm and cool tone.

"And what are you doing here?! Rodyle works for Cruxis, doesn't he? Where did he take-"

"Lloyd!" Raine snapped, scolding him as she would in class. "Listen…we all decided that if you were going to change again, we would stop you. Given the scenario we thought it would be best if you didn't change anymore. When we saw you get riled up about Colette we knocked you out before you could shift."

"I…" Lloyd stared a bit, making himself breathe deeper. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't…well…"

"We didn't want Cenon to know about it," Zelos said flatly. "Since we haven't seen anything that tells us he doesn't know everything you do."

"While we may not be entirely sure if you're possessed, we don't want to take that chance," Raine said, looking at Lloyd. "You understand, don't you?"

"I…yeah, I do, but why is Kratos here?"

The Seraph had the usual stoic expression, though there was a slight frown on his face. There was no aggression, no malicious intent. It was just like in the forest, with Regal, how he had sensed it. Kratos was no threat, at least right now.

"I understand that you became Cenon in Mizuho, that you heard the legend of Jizou, am I correct?" Kratos asked.

"Yeah." Lloyd looked at him, frowning. "You know about that too? That legend-"

He shook his head.

"It's not important right now! Where is Colette? We have to save her!"

"If you wish to save the Chosen you'll have to search the skies around Flanior," Kratos replied flatly. You'll need to retrieve the rheairds-"

Kratos cut off, frowning, whipping his head around, sword drawn.

The others followed suit and Lloyd twitched, sensing the approaching group. Yuan and a couple of Renegades, strolling right into the clearing.

"No need for that," the Seraph said flatly, eyes narrowed and arms crossed. "You want the rheairds, am I right? Here you go."

He lightly tossed a wingpack right to Raine, who caught it and stared at it a moment, looking back at Yuan with skepticism evident in her eyes.

"What are you playing at?" she snapped. "What do you want?"

"I was going to stop by and ask Lloyd to reconsider, like I did before, but given the little Chosen is currently abducted I doubt he'll come with me until she's back with you. I already know I can't hold him against his will- more accurately, I can't hold Cenon against his will. So the sooner you all save her the sooner Lloyd will be more willing to consider my offer."

"We still can't fly them at any rate, not until we make the pact with Volt, correct?" Regal frowned.

"I've charged them for you-"

"But that means every time they would run out we would have to rely on you for power, right? Shrewd," Zelos smirked. "But I think we're gonna stick with pacting Volt anyway, just in case."

"That would be the best course of action," Raine agreed.

"Tch, fine, I'm not going to be able to force you either way." Yuan scowled a bit. "Better yet I should ask what Kratos is doing with you? I don't see how it makes sense you all get hostile when I show up but you let Kratos waltz right into your little group."

"Frankly it's because Lloyd is comfortable with him. None of us understand it, but Kratos has been around him and he hasn't gotten tense. You on the other hand…I can feel his mana pulsing just looking at you."

Lloyd flinched. He was doing that? He didn't even realize he was.

"Yeah probably because he hasn't really forgiven the whole 'threaten his dad' thing, that was not a great move on your part, eh, capey?" Zelos smirked, his eyes narrowed a bit.

"Tch," Yuan turned on heel. "It doesn't matter, Kratos can't take you any more than I can."

The Renegades left without another word, and the group didn't try to stop them. Instead they turned their attention back to Kratos.

"So what is it you plan to do, Kratos?" Raine asked him

"…If you're going to make a pact with Volt you'll need someone that can understand the language he speaks," Kratos said. "I can assist you with that."

"You expect us to trust you?"

"No. I don't expect that. I merely ask you let me help you with this one pact."

"We don't have time for this," Lloyd grit his teeth, getting to his feet. "Let's go make the pact with Volt so we can save Colette, if Kratos really wants to come he'll follow us anyway. Let's just go and get this over with."

"Yeah," Genis agreed.

"Y…yeah…" Sheena whispered, a bit pale.

Lloyd noticed it, noticed how her body tensed and she- was she afraid? How come he hadn't noticed before? In fact- wait, Presea…Presea was…that weird, naseauous, empty feeling he kept getting from her was gone. What…

Lloyd frowned, looking at the pinkette. She wasn't with them, she was standing before an old axe stuck in the ground and- it was a grave. A fresh grave, he realized, with fresh dirt and a small wooden plaque. They must've buried her father when he was unconscious, so that had to mean…

"Presea?" he walked forward, frowning.

The girl had her back to him and at first said nothing, then slowly turned to look up at him.

"Lloyd…" she said softly, her blue eyes now focused. "I…I'm sorry. It was because of me that Colette was taken away. I didn't mean to, I didn't realize- I'm sorry, I guess those are just excuses."

Presea shook her head, frowning, her eyes falling a bit.

"So you're better now?" Lloyd asked, scanning her. "I mean, you've got your soul back?"

"Yes…the others put the crest you made on me, afterward." She nodded, looking up again. "Thank you. I don't deserve it, especially after such a burden I've been."

"It wasn't your fault," he said, frowning. "I don't think anyone can blame you for what you did like that. We'll save Colette-"

"I would like to come with you, if that's all right," she cut him off, looking up at him with her big blue eyes. "It's my fault she was taken so the least I can do is help you get her back. Besides, I don't have anything here, now."

Lloyd hesitated a bit, glancing at her and then behind her at the grave. It must have been horrifying for her, he thought, coming out of that daze only to discover her father had been dead for years already, laying in his bed. She seemed pretty calm, or maybe she had just been emotional earlier and had calmed down after it all. It wasn't weird, after all, to feel oddly calm and tired after something like that.

"I'm sorry, about your Dad," he said.

"I…Lloyd? Can I ask you something?" she frowned a bit.

"Huh? Of course, what is it?"

"I don't remember all of it completely clear, but I remember a lot. I- I know how you can sense..things, about living things and…."

Lloyd's throat tightened.

"Did he suffer? Do you know that, can you tell? Can you tell me, if he hurt when he died?"

The swordsman became speechless, staring down at her, stunned. Presea's frown slowly deepened, turning her back on him to look at the grave once more.

"I don't know," Lloyd said, shaking his head. "But-…"

He placed a hand on her shoulder, the lumberjill looking back at him. His throat felt tight, like something was caught in it but words were still trying to come.

"Everything ends- I know that doesn't really help you right now, but it's just…how things go. It doesn't mean it's the end, Presea, nothing ever really dies. Death is just how something old becomes something new. Bodies die and get broken down, then get built into something else, but their lives- their lives never really fade. A life is more than a body, it's what they were and what they did and what they left behind."

"…You're right," she whispered. "That doesn't really help right now."

Lloyd frowned as the girl walked passed him, picking up her own axe. She walked a couple steps then stopped, quiet.

"But it will help me later, I think. Thank you."

"Lloyd," someone called.

He half expected it to be Raine, it usually was Raine that snapped at him with a firm call of his name. This time it was Kratos, the man with the years and mana cascading from him like waterfalls off a cliff-face. Lloyd stared at him, nearly getting lost in the sensation again. Kratos snapped his fingers in front of the teen's face, locking eyes with him.

"Lloyd, if you want to save the Chosen I suggest you all hurry."

"I…all right. Yeah, right." He nodded. "Let's go."

Something felt close. He couldn't understand it or know what it was, but something was close.

* * *

It turned out they didn't need to have someone talk to Volt, given the second the spirit appeared before them it let loose a roar that was as deafening as the thunder that followed it. Even Kratos was taken by surprise by how quick the spirit was to attack them so ruthlessly, barely having time to throw up a 'guardian' as they were all knocked onto the floor below.

It all became a blur, a rush. He felt them, all of them, their hearts racing with fear, adrenaline, anger, and from Sheena what he felt as pure and utter devastation. It was almost…suffocating. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't even tell if he was laying down or on his knees, who was around him, where he was. He felt a hand grip his arm, then heard Kratos shouting over the noise.

"Why?" the Seraph shouted at the spirit. "Why are you trying to kill him? Why must he die? Explain!"

A strange crackling, rumbling sound that almost sounded like speech met his ears. Lloyd couldn't make heads or tails of it but it seemed to mean something to Kratos.

"You're not making sense!"

Volt let out another roar of thunder, momentarily deafening them. Lloyd managed to finally focus his eyes, quickly scanning the area. Volt was going for Sheena. The teen flinched and tried to get to his feet, tried to go to his friend's aid…but someone else got there first. Little Corrine had thrown into the attack, sparing Sheena. Corrine was dying. He felt it, felt the mana dispersing from the little body, felt the life being taken- no, wait…no it wasn't being- it wasn't going away, but it was, but- but it wasn't! But it was!

"Agh!" Lloyd gripped his head tightly.

He was aware something going on, Sheena mourning, someone was speaking to her while protecting her-Zelos? It felt like Zelos, talking to her, something about Corrine and Sheena's past and- Corrine was gone- but he wasn't- but he was! No! Stop it! He couldn't take this anymore! Make it stop! He needed to be able to think again, he needed to be able to focus- it was all too much! The mana and Corrine and the lives and the years-he was going to go insane! Stop it!

"STOP IT!"

The words boomed from his mouth, echoing around the large chamber, and silence fell. Volt silenced, the group did, Sheena's sobs stifled. Finally, things seemed to come into focus for Lloyd. He was on his knees, one hand on the ground and the other clutching his head. Kratos was to his side, the rest of the group here and there, Sheena was on her knees, Zelos had a sword out between her and Volt, protecting her. The world seemed quiet again, sensible, not so rapid…

He looked over at Sheena, at the little body of Corrine, dissolving slowly into sparkling mana. The ninja was sobbing, her hands cradling the little creatures head. It seemed surreal. He had never really liked Corrine- rather Corrine had never really liked him, but for him to actually die like that, just all of a sudden, with Sheena like this.

"Volt's just lost his faith in people, Sheena…"the small voice said, fading just like his body. "Make your vow, and try one more time, I know you can do it, Sheena."

"No! Corrine, don't die!" Sheena screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

The last of the little spirit's body faded away, shimmering bits of mana floating into the air.

"Sheena! Listen! You don't face Volt now you're going to live the rest of your life with him hovering over you! Do you want that?!" Zelos yelled back at her, using a shield of mana to block Volt's attacks. "You can do this, so get up!"

Lloyd choked a bit but found his voice, getting to his feet despite how it felt the world was spinning around him.

"He's right! Sheena, you can do this, for Corrine!" he said, drawing his swords.

Sheena was staring at them, but Lloyd didn't get to hear any sort of response because speaking up had drawn Volt's attention to him. Volt let out another shout of its strange language, shooting electricity at the dual swordsman. Kratos intercepted it with a mana shield of his own, snapping back at Lloyd.

"Lloyd, stay back! Let the others handle Volt!"

"What-? No! I have to-"

"He's trying to kill you, Lloyd!" The Seraph snapped. "Like with Undine, he isn't trying to kill the rest of us but he's actively trying to kill you."

"He's right," Raine grabbed his arm, pulling him back. "Stay back, we'll handle the pact and drive Volt into submission with Sheena."

The others had already managed to finally recovering from Volt's devastating attack, springing into action. Sheena herself had pulled herself to her feet, dishing out her cards.

"For the sake of everyone that died protecting me, I demand your power!"

Lloyd attempted to join the fray again but Kratos cut him off, giving the teen a firm glare of disapproval. He was almost inclined to argue with him, after all, what right did the man have in any of this? Yet…

The teen ended up watching on helplessly, Kratos guarding him, not assisting any of the others but not trying to hinder their progress. He had never felt so useless in all his life, watching his friends fight. It was kind of interesting, in a way, he had never really seen them fight before, from the outside like that. Watching them he felt them, felt their pulses going again, felt sparks from their thoughts and reflexes. It was …oddly beautiful yet alarming at the same time. Something about it, though, something-

Volt fell, submitting before Sheena and the rest. Lloyd perked up, relieved, happy to see they had managed to do it. Volt spoke again.

"He says that he will make a pact with the summoner once she gives her vow," Raine said. "But he says there is one condition to granting you his power."

"What's the one condition?" Zelos rose a brow.

Volt spoke. Kratos' eyes narrowed, raising his sword and Raine gripped her staff. The others tensed as well, hands hovering above their weapons.

"He says he will only pact Sheena if he can take Lloyd's life," Kratos said flatly.

"What-? No! We defeated you, you have to make the pact!" Sheena snapped, her cards out. "You already killed Corrine! Why do you want to kill Lloyd?!"

"That's a very valid question," Raine snapped coolly. "Well Volt? Why do you want Lloyd dead? Another spirit tried the same thing, why? What do the spirits have against him?"

Volt was silent aside from a low hum, the large eyes locked on Lloyd's own. He felt it, the mana, surging from the spirits very existence-

"Agh-!" Lloyd fell onto his knees, panting, holding his head.

"Lloyd-!"

Something was coming. There was Volt's mana but there was a new mana as well, a new feeling. It felt like mana was gathering from amongst them, pulling into one point. A glowing ball of light had appeared beside Volt, multiple tendrils of mana were being pulled into it. Then he felt it. The new being of mana, just like Volt but- different. He felt it before he saw it, the ball of light giving a bright flash, dimming to reveal a large vulpine spirit with multiple, colorful tails.

"C…Corrine?" Sheena whispered, shocked.

"I am Verius. Spirit of Heart," the new spirit said, its eyes locked on Lloyd.

Lloyd panted, staring at it as it walked closer to him, stopping before him and meeting his eyes.

"I understand now," Verius said flatly. "I understand what you are, what we both are, why you did bother me so. You were not supposed to be like this, Cenon, when the boy died you were supposed to become your true self, the shell was supposed to fade."

"Shell…what are you talking about?" Lloyd whispered, panting still.

"When I faded from this world during the Kharlan War, when the mana drained," Verius said, his tails swaying behind him. "There was not enough mana to sustain me, so I vanished from the world. I was formless, drifting through the worlds, until the scientists at Meltokio attempted to create a being from mana, they attempted to create a summon spirit. Impossible of course…people have always been far too arrogant. However, they did create conditions suitable for me to take another shape, a weak, small shape, but one I could take, a being I could become until I was able to take my true form once more."

"I..I don't understand," Lloyd shook his head. "You're Corrine aren't you?"

"Corrine was a shell." Verius answered flatly, his tone just as expressionless. "A false body I could take to sustain myself until I regained strength. Even so, once I had regained that strength I could not take my true form until the shell broke, until it died and I was released from the false body; and my memories returned to me."

Lloyd panted, nearly dizzy from the mana, but things weren't becoming hazy again, they felt clearer, sharper, like...

"You did the same. When you perished from this world you waited and then took on a form that could sustain you. You infused yourself into a zygote at its conception, and you were born as a human, a shell that could protect you until you could take your real form again."

The fox took a step forward, almost nose to nose with the pale, shaking Lloyd.

"But when your shell broke you didn't let it die, Cenon," it said in a low, deep voice.

His heart was pounding in his ears, his mouth felt dry and he swallowed, his fingers curling into the tiles.

"What are you saying?" he managed to ask. "That I'm a 'shell'? I'm-?"

"No, Cenon, you are not a shell. You are not a human, the human who you became, 'Lloyd' is a shell, a false body. You need to remember, Cenon."

"I'm not-!" his snapped, cutting off when he felt his voice change.

Lloyd froze, looking at his hand to see the black gauntlet. No. No wait…could this be? Could this be what it was?

"I'm Cenon's reincarnation, is that what you're saying?" He asked shakily, staring at his hand.

"No. You are Cenon. You just need to remember. For some reason you kept the shell alive, you were freed but you did not let your shell die, that is why you cannot remember. That is why you keep shifting between forms. That is why Lloyd must die, that is why Undine tried to kill you and why Volt and I must kill you, so that you may truly reawaken."

His heart stopped, staring at his hand and then slowly looking up, locking eyes with the Spirit of Heart. Undine had tried to kill him to 'free' him- no, to free Cenon-…but wait. He…_was _Cenon, but he was Lloyd too, wasn't he? Was there a difference? He had said before it hadn't felt like he was possessed, it hadn't felt like something completely different from himself was- no, no this was crazy, he couldn't be-

"You are Cenon," Verius said firmly. "You are the Spirit of Life and Death, the very essence and flow and force of life itself in all its forms. It is time to stop clinging to this false life you have become so attached to."

Volt approached.

"It is time for Lloyd to die."

The lightning came for him, it seemed in slow motion, the surge that would kill him and make him whole. That would end his life as Lloyd.

How dare they?

"NO!" he roared over the thunder, suddenly on his feet, one hand above his head.

The lightning struck his fingertips but did not penetrate his body, instead the electricity sparked and popped before fizzing out of existence like steam. He felt it, felt its energy surge through his body but without pain, felt the pure power of it. It wasn't a heartbeat, but he had a pulse, pounding through him, that burning feeling in the pit of his being again. Volt looked shocked, Verius just as much, growling at him.

"Don't resist, Cenon! This is for your own good! We must kill Lloyd to free you!"

"I am Lloyd!" he shouted back, feeling the energy surge through him.

"You are Cenon-!"

"I am that as well!"

Suddenly it made sense to him. It didn't make sense in words, but it made sense in that moment, to him. Corrine and Lloyd, Verius and Cenon, they were the same. Verius had taken another body and was 'born' as Corrine just as he had taken a body and been born again. Yes, he was Cenon, he knew it as a fact as one would state the weather or the time. He was Cenon but he was still Lloyd. He didn't understand it, but he didn't have to figure it out right that second.

Verius had launched at him, going for his throat. His arm came up, coated in thick ice to block as the fox's jaws clamped down on it, not harming his arm. His other hand sparked, bursting into flame as he clenched it into a fist and slammed it into the side of Verius' head. Volt tried to strike him again and he responded by picking Verius up by the necked and tossing him into the ball of electricity, both spirits letting out a cry of shock. Then, he remembered something. He was angry.

The ground shook, the stone floor jutting up around both spirits, knocking them to the sides as he approached, his eyes narrowed, the long coat billowing out behind him. A source-less wind howled, sparks of flame flicking at his fingertips.

"What gave you the right to decide I would die, hm?" his voice boomed, low, echoing. "I decide that, I decide if someone should live or die, that is my domain! You don't have the right! Neither of you have the right to tell ME who has to die!"

"Cenon! Stop this!" Verius snarled, on his paws again. "We are trying to help you!"

"I don't need your help nor do I want it!" he snapped, teeth gritted. "So both of you, enough!"

"…Very well," Verius answered, frowning. "If it is truly your desire to carry on as you are, then so be it. We will not interfere."

Volt said something. He understood it despite not knowing the words, he was agreeing with Verius. He slowly relaxed, the wind dying down and the ground falling still as well.

"Now…" he said calmly, his voice firm and commanding. "Make the pact with the Summoner."

Volt buzzed again, turning to Sheena. The summoner as well as the rest of the party was stunned, staring at their companion. The being with two names and two forms looked at them, scanning them then looked at Sheena, nodding, a gentle smile of encouragement on his face.

"Go ahead, Sheena."

"I- right." Sheena quickly turned to Volt. "For the sake of creating a world in which the two worlds must no longer sacrifice one another, I ask that you grant me they power."

Volt buzzed.

"I grant my power to thee, Sheena, is what he said," Raine said, her wary eyes going from the two spirits to the more debatable being present.

Suddenly there was yet another flash, blue light this time, mana forming Undine, hovering in the air beside Volt.

"Undine-?" Sheena gasped.

"The link between the worlds has been severed."

"The link?" Genis asked.

"Mana flows from the world in which the spirits sleep to the world in which the spirits are awake, this is the first time spirits in both worlds have been awake at the same time. As a result the mana connecting us has been cut off."

"That's perfect!" Zelos exclaimed. "That's what's keeping the worlds attached, right? So we just wake up all the spirits and the links go kaput, am I right?"

"Then the worlds will separate?" Presea asked quietly.

"We do not know for sure, but the mana connecting them will sever." Undine scanned them, her eyes flicking to Verius.

"I see you have reawakened."

"Yes, no thanks to you," the fox snorted a bit. "You did not attempt to awaken me when we met before."

"Given the state of the worlds, you are currently unnecessary," Undine replied flatly. "Thus there was no point in doing such."

Verius growled a bit, tails moving.

"Do not disrespect me, Undine."

"I am not. I am merely stating fact. You are unnecessary." Her red eyes flicked to the man with the milky eyes. "Cenon is essential to everything, but he resisted when I tried to free him. I respect his decisions, it is not my place to question them."

Volt buzzed angrily.

"It was not your place to question them either," Undine contested flatly, glaring slightly out of the side of her eyes.

There was a flash of blue light as the Maiden of the Mist appeared directly in front of the entity, raising a hand to touch his cheek.

"I do hope you recall us now, dear friend? It was quite painful to see you looking upon us as strangers."

He smiled, a small but charming expression.

"I do apologize for that," he said smoothly, bringing up his hand to touch hers. "It shan't happen again."

Undine smiled a bit in return before disappearing in a flash, Volt doing the same. Verius lingered, eying the spirit of life before turning to Sheena, who looked as if she was considering approaching.

"I thank you for your strength and the kindness you showed me, Sheena," Verius spoke. "But I am no longer Corrine."

"But…you remember me, don't you?" the young woman frowned, upset.

"Yes but it is more complex than that. I am no longer Corrine," the eyes went back to the first target. "Just as he is not Lloyd, and he will learn that he can not continue to be Lloyd."

"We shall see," he answered flatly.

Verius snorted, but turned back to Sheena, giving her a gentle nuzzle. Sheena shook, throwing her arms around his neck in a hug.

"I cannot stay with you, Sheena, I am the Spirit of Heart, I watch over the hearts of men, I make no pacts, I do not bind to anyone."

"I- I understand," Sheena sobbed into his fur.

"Thank you."

Just like the others, Verius disappeared as well, leaving Sheena standing there with silent tears down her cheeks.

"Lloyd?"

Genis had approached him, eying him warily, Raine's harsh skeptical gaze joined with him. Slowly they all turned to him, staring, some pale and some wary.

"Yes?" he answered casually.

"…But you're Cenon-"

"Yes."

Silence fell. It lasted quite a while and a frown slowly came to his face, looking down at himself and then around at them.

"I…suppose this is awkward."

**Well that was a long chapter too, whoo….well, anyway, answers! I hope it came out okay and that it ..y'know…was good. lol**

**Review?**


	19. Chapter 19

**Some of you seemed concerned, hopefully this'll alleviate some of that**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

"This is a good spot as any."

He sat down on the grass, one knee up and he rested his arm upon it in front of him, the white cloak settling around him on the grass like a pool of white and red. They did not sit, standing around him with tense and skeptical, fearful looks. His shifting, churning white eyes looked up at them in silence, Sheena looked away and Genis averted his eyes. What had he been expecting, though?

They just stood there a moment, eying him and awaiting some sort of response from him, when none came they slowly settled down on the grass, keeping a safe distance from him. The only one who refused to sit was Kratos, the Seraph's russet eyes locked on him with a killer's intent, his grip on the hilt of his blade.

"I'm sure you're all very frightened and confused," he spoke finally, his one hand bending his fingers into the grass. "I don't blame you, despite how calm I may appear I'm rather the same at the moment."

"What did you do to Lloyd-?"

"I am Lloyd," he said without batting an eye. "It's like they said; when I was conceived I infused myself into - …myself, wait, I suppose that's confusing."

He brought up a hand to his chin, thoughtful.

"Let me see- ah, when I as in Lloyd was conceived , I as in Cenon-"

"No, no that's not helping," Sheena said, shaking her head with a hand to her face.

"Perhaps we should ask the questions," Raine spoke up. "What we're most concerned with right now is whether Lloyd is going to return-"

"I am Lloyd-"

"Fine then," the woman snapped, obviously exasperated. "Then I mean are you going to change back into Lloyd, as in physically?"

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that." He looked up, thoughtful again. "I suppose- yes, I will, I can't maintain this form for too long-…that's not alleviating your concerns, is it?"

The looks on their faces answered the question for him.

A frown creased his face and he took a deep breathe, his expression becoming serious. He adjusted his posture, sitting straight and looking right at them.

"You all seem to still be under the impression that I'm two different people. I am not. I am Cenon the Spirit and I am Lloyd the Swordsman, my forms and my demeanor alter but I'm still me. I was Cenon before I was Lloyd but I am still Lloyd, think of it as…well, as an adult you're not the same as you were when you were a child, correct? But you're still the same person, yes?"

"…So you're saying it's like you've 'grown up'?" Regal rose a brow.

"In a way…I'm not certain how to explain it in words, but yes, effectively-"

"But-" Raine began.

His eyes flashed to her, narrowed and a strong gust of wind blew by.

"You keep interrupting me," he said flatly. "Stop."

For once the woman actually silenced, but her cold, hostile look remained. He got to his feet effortlessly, his cloak moving as if in a light wind despite the still air.

"This whole conversation can be had at a later date," he said calmly despite the irritation in his expression. "Colette is still in danger and we're wasting time."

"But this doesn't make sense! How did Cenon 'disappear'? How did he become a human and why Lloyd?!" Genis shouted, his fists clenched at his sides.

A flash of frustration passed over the spirit's face and he went- it seemed- to shout, then swayed on the spot. He fell backwards and by the time he fell into Kratos' awaiting arms, he was a brown-haired human again.

"Lloyd-!" half the group exclaimed.

"Ugh…" He groaned, his eyes shut tightly. "Why's everything so…dizzy…I-"

He turned his head and vomited, Kratos quickly adjusting his grip to support him.

"I- ugh, my head…" Lloyd muttered after he caught his breath.

"Lloyd? Are you…?" Presea began softly.

"I think I'm okay," he groaned, shaking his head. "I just-…"

The young man fell silent, staring off, blinking once or twice.

"Lloyd? Is he gone?" Sheena asked warily.

"Is he gone?" Lloyd frowned, rubbing his head. "What are you-"

He shook his head again, pulling up onto his own two feet and rubbing his face with both hands, murmuring to himself. After a moment he looked up at them, blinking again.

"I- wow, that was weird," he said quietly. "Am I- yeah I'm…this again. Huh."

"Are you back to normal?" Raine eyed him, her blue eyes narrowed a bit.

"I don't think I'm exactly 'normal' either way, Professor," he replied, looking at her. "I- …I have no idea how to explain this. I don't feel different- but I do, but- uhm."

Kratos grabbed his shoulder firmly, the dual swordsman turning to meet the man's eyes. The Seraph's face was tight, his russet eyes scanning him intently.

"Do you remember what happened since you changed in the temple?"

"Yeah…of course I remember, I was there. I always remember."

"You're calm."

"Well why- oh, yeah, I guess usually I wasn't calm after changing was I?" Lloyd blinked once, suddenly looking thoughtful. "I guess…well I didn't understand it before so it freaked me out, and I guess I should still be freaking out. Like…I feel like I am scared, but I …don't."

He was met with long, silent glances and frustration became evident in his expression.

"Look, we can talk about this later! Colette needs us and we're sitting here talking like we got all the time in the world! We have to go- and why are you still here?!"

The question was directed at Kratos, who was still regarding him with tense suspicion, one hand curled on the hilt of his blade and russet eyes keen.

"You expected me to leave?"

Lloyd hesitated briefly but his hostility seemed to leave.

"I…no I suppose I didn't, but why are you sticking around?"

"While I do find that an important thing to address, Lloyd is in fact right." Raine frowned, crossing her arms. "Let's make our first priority saving Colette. After that we can address all the others…issues."

Lloyd nodded and without another word started to take his rheaird out of his wingpack, his back to the rest of the group. It was obvious by the looks his friends gave him that they were not at ease with this at all but they followed his lead. The only one who did not was Kratos, who discreetly and silently slipped away from the clearing.

"Hey, Kratos left," Genis spoke up as he mounted his rheaird.

"So what?" Zelos shrugged.

"Shouldn't we be concerned about what he's doing?" Sheena asked.

"No," Lloyd said. "He's got no malicious intent toward us."

"Oh great now he knows the word 'malicious'?" Genis muttered darkly, eying Lloyd.

"Yes, I do." Lloyd said, turning to look back at him. "We're going to Yuan's base. He'll know where Colette is being held."

He turned and started the engines of the rheiard trying to ignore the horrible unsettlement he felt. It didn't matter right now, he told himself firmly; right now they had a job to do and if they had a problem with it they didn't have to do it, he'd do it on his own if he had to and they could interrogate him later. Before he took off he cast just one glance over his shoulder to see if they were going to come with him and to his relief saw them mounting their rheairds. Good…at least they were still with him, for now.

He took off.

It was a relief, really, that they had to fly there. The winds would've made any conversation difficult, so there was none, and plenty of time for him to have an excuse not to try to talk to them. What was he supposed to say that he hadn't already said? It wasn't his fault they didn't understand…then, it wasn't really their fault either, he didn't even fully understand any of it. It didn't matter, he knew he would soon…somehow.

He didn't waste any time at all, as soon as he touched down he walked right up to the gates, the guards on duty lifting their weapons and stammering out an order to identify themselves.

"Lloyd and friends," he said flatly, not even stopping. "Now move aside."

"Wait- Lloyd-? That Lloyd?"

"The 'Cenon' Lloyd, yes, now move."

The guards slipped to the sides just as Lloyd reached them, simply walking past with the rest of his group eying each other before following.

"I don't know whether that means the guards are really shitty or if you're really just that intimidating, did you use the white eyes on them or something?" Zelos asked from behind him.

"If I did, I don't know," Lloyd replied, shaking his head but not looking back. "I-…"

He stopped in the middle of the hallway, frowning and then scanning the doors in the corridor in silence.

"You don't know where were going, right?" Sheena chuckled nervously.

"Well-" Lloyd turned toward on door just as it slid open.

"You certainly have developed quite a nerve, haven't you?" Yuan scowled, one hand on his hip. "You all just waltz right into my base like you own the damn place. All of you, damn it how did everyone figure out where this place was to begin with?"

"You seem as if you knew we were coming," Regal said.

"Well you didn't get here first, once he showed up I was fairly sure you would be next," Yuan snorted, glancing over his shoulder at the second figure.

"What- Kratos?! You came here too?!" Genis blurted.

"I needed to have a word with Yuan-"

"You came to see what he knows, didn't you?" Raine cut him off, arms crossed. "That is a ver interesting idea, well, Yuan? What do you know about Lloyd and Cenon?"

"I know it'd be better to have this conversation behind closed doors," the Seraph replied with a hint of venom to his voice. "Now if you want to keep pointing fingers out here you can, or if you'd rather we all go talk about this like intelligent creatures, follow me."

Yuan turned on heel, Kratos' eyes lingering on them before turning and following him. The group followed the two ancient angels to an office that looked similar to the one in the Triet base, where Yuan took a seat at the desk, propping up his chin on his knuckles and scanning them with his emerald eyes.

"I assume that you're not here to turn yourself over?"

"You know where Colette is, tell us," Lloyd said.

The man sighed deeply.

"Of course, I shouldn't even try anymore…"

"Did you know how Lloyd came to be connected with Cenon?" Raine asked.

"I know what Kratos told me, basically what he told you," Yuan replied, frowning. "Which is…interesting, granted I didn't think he was 'possessed', as Cenon was never the type who would infringe on a life without permission, but…"

"Well what is he then? Like…a reincarnation?" Genis asked, warily eying Lloyd.

"That's one way you could label it I suppose."

"Reincarnation…" Lloyd frowned. "I- …guess that's the closest word for it but that's not it, not quite. I-…I'm just…"

"Earlier he described it like 'growing up'," Raine cut in. "He claims the difference between him and Cenon is no more a difference than a person when they are a child versus when they are an adult."

"…Well that sounds like something Cenon'd say, I'll admit that much," Yuan replied.

"That's another thing." Raine crossed her arms. "You keep talking as if you know Cenon."

"I do- or rather, I did." His frown deepened. "It was a long time ago."

"That's not a good enough answer."

"Well it's the only one you're getting right now."

"That's bull! We're not gonna stand for that are we, Lloyd?"Genis shouted.

Lloyd didn't respond, frowning.

"…Lloyd?"

"It's not important right now-"

That's when the fragile stability in their tense group finally shattered. Genis had turned red in the face, his teeth clenched and glaring, fists clenched at his sides with his little fair knuckles turning even whiter.

"That's it! I don't believe you're Lloyd! I don't! Lloyd would be all over this! You're not Lloyd, you're not! You're that damn spirit! I don't care what you say, you're not Lloyd!"

The dual swordsman flinched, turning to Genis with slightly widened eyes, his skin going just a tad pale.

"I- Genis, I am, I'm still me-"

"Liar! I don't believe you!" Genis shouted at the top of his lungs. "You just look like him, and you're lying to us! You took over Lloyd and you won't give him back!"

Raine frowned, putting a hand on her brother's shoulder.

"Genis, calm down-"

"I'm not going to calm down! You don't believe him either, do you?! You don't believe he's Lloyd! None of us do! Why are we just acting like everything is normal?! He's not Lloyd and you know it!"

Lloyd could only stare at them, frozen in place, feeling a tightening sensation in his throat and a coldness creep over his body. The others didn't answer, but they really didn't have to, their expressions, their body language- what's more, he could feel it. He could feel their tension, their fear, their hostility and wariness of him. It was true, none of them believed him. None of them thought he was Lloyd.

Could he...blame them, really? But what else could he say? What else could he tell them except for the truth? There was no way for him to prove it to them, they would just accuse him more, say he was 'stealing' his own memories. He knew that wasn't the case, he knew he was still Lloyd-…he- he was still Lloyd, right? It made sense to him, it just did, he didn't know how it did but it did, there was no way he could explain it to himself, much less to them, he just…knew. He was still Lloyd, he was just Cenon too! Or- or he was…Cenon…and Lloyd too…

What if he was wrong though? What if they were right, what if he wasn't still Lloyd?

He felt the color drain from his face, still staring at them. After a moment he finally tried to speak but was met only with hostile or wary glances from his friends, who backed away from him, heading toward the door.

"W- wait! Guys, please- I know this…I know this is weird and I can't prove it but- but it's me! Really!" he stammered, feeling fear settle into the pit of his chest.

"Perhaps we should talk about this," Raine said coolly, eying Lloyd. "Without you."

Lloyd felt like he had been slapped, staring at them.

"Perhaps that is for the best," Yuan spoke up. "You can use the conference room down the hall, obviously you all have some things that need to be sorted out."

The Seraph stood, walking up to Lloyd.

"You don't look well. You can rest in the room through there, I recommend you do so…"

"I- I'm fine," Lloyd protested, frowning. "I just…"

"From what I understand since this morning you've challenged Volt, fought off him and Verius, fused consciousnesses and have come here. You have a physical body at present and you've strained it."

"No I…I haven't…"

He hadn't realize just how tired he was until he said it. Maybe it was because he paid attention to it, or maybe the rejection from his friends had finally broken him back to awareness of himself, but he ached to his very core.

"I'll take him to the room," Kratos said, his first time speaking since they conversation started.

Yuan eyed him but said nothing, Lloyd's companions did the same.

"I…I just…" Lloyd muttered, staring at the ground, feeling as if he could pass out and sleep on the rug.

Spent as he was, he followed Kratos to the room, similar to the ones with the beds at the Triet Base. He just stared at the beds, numb. Kratos began to speak but Lloyd spoke first, quiet.

"You want to talk to me don't you? You wanted to at Volt's temple and you wanted to back there but- ...but the others…"

"I did intend to ask you some things, yes, but you're in no condition for that at the moment."

"You don't think I'm me either, do you?" Lloyd trembled, looking at him. "None of you do, all of you think I'm not me anymore- Colette- Colette wouldn't- would she? Colette always…she…"

Lloyd brought his hands up to his head, fingers digging into his hair as he bite down on his teeth in an attempt to hold back tears.

"I will admit I did consider the possibilities your…companions, did," Kratos said in his usual flat tone. "But given how you reacted to that and how you are reacting now, I do not believe that you are no longer Lloyd."

"What makes you sure of that?! Huh?! How come you can be so damn sure but they can't?!"

Lloyd panted, fists clenched at his sides, glaring at the Seraph. The man didn't respond, frowning and Lloyd slowly calmed, looking away.

"I'm sorry, I guess I should just be happy that one person believes me…"

"Do you know what Cenon did? Now, or when you changed?" Kratos asked.

"I don't- well...I mean, I do, it's like- it's like I remember when I'm like that, but when I'm like this I forget it all." he frowned, his brow furrowed thoughtfully. "I'm not quite sure why, I think I do know, I just don't know...right now."

"...I see," Kratos said quietly.

"Some things I know now, but most of it's pretty vague, it's more like a...feeling, that lingers. I...sense things now, so many things, so many horrible and wonderful things, so it's kind of distracting, and it makes me think and feel weird things...but I am still me-!" he blurted, looking upset again.

"I believe you, Lloyd," Kratos cut him off, looking at him. "I do. I don't understand it all, but I do believe you are the same boy that left Iselia. I am sure your companions will come around to that as well, they simply need time."

Lloyd sighed, glancing aside and staring off into space. The Seraph hesitated a moment, scanning the despairing, lost, scared young man and found himself speaking.

"Lloyd-..."

"Yes?"

The old man frowned. Would it make things better, or worse? Would telling him the truth just send him into an even more drastic and shocking spiral of stress, or would it give him some comfort now that it appeared all his friends had turned their backs on him, if only momentarily? Lloyd was looking at him, expectantly, the brown eyes at once so youthful and so timeless...

"There is something...I think perhaps I should tell you-"

"I know."

Kratos blinked, frowning a bit.

"What do you mean 'you know'?"

"I know."

"...You know what, exactly?"

Lloyd's gaze drifted down, looking at his hand as he lifted it up to his eye level, scanning it intently, as if it was something surreal.

"I know...this body came from yours."

Kratos flinched, his eyes widening slightly but quickly forced his composure.

"How long have you known?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Since the first time- well...like that I knew, I didn't know like this for a while," Lloyd said, his expression softened but serious. "I'm not sure when exactly...at Volt's Tower, I knew it after I was like this again, but it...didn't seem shocking, you know? It felt like...when you read an old book, you forgot about it, but then as you read it you remember and then you're like 'oh yeah I remember all this, it's not shocking'. I...I do have a lot of questions, I was going to be mad at you, but when I was going to I just...you just-...I 'felt' you, and you felt so...guilty, and sad..and I just couldn't..."

"You have every right to be angry with me," he whispered. "For everything, deceiving you, losing you, treating you how I have been since the incident before the Lake..."

"You're worried about me," Lloyd said with a little 'heh' a little half smirk curling into his face. "You're always worried about me, you're always scared for me...I don't know, I guess I am mad, but not as much as I want to be."

They stood there in silence a moment, neither moving, neither speaking or looking at each other. Eventually it was Lloyd that spoke up, finally looking at his father.

"It's weird...I feel like I want to do two completely different things right now, and I don't know which one I should do." He frowned again, thinking. "I..can I...do both?"

Kratos regarded him quietly, nodding once.

"...I know there are things you have to do and I understand it, and I don't hate you, and if you go ahead and leave and go back to Cruxis, to what you were doing, I won't hate you or feel betrayed."

The angel frowned and the dual swordsman took a deep breathe, closing his eyes.

"Okay...that was...the first one."

"What is the second?"

Kratos' eyes widened, his body tensing up when the young man threw his arms around the Seraph's body, burying his face into his chest and sobbing, his shoulders trembling.

"Lloyd-"

"I don't understand! I don't understand anything! I'm confused and lost and- and everyone doesn't think I'm me anymore and I don't know what I am and Colette is still- I- I-!"

"Lloyd...calm down, take deep breathes," Kratos said gently, awkwardly putting his hands on Lloyd's shoulders. "It- everything will be all right...it's all right."

The teen said nothing, sobbing into his father's chest; Kratos didn't know what else to do except simply stand there, and let him.

**Well that took a while, but I'm rather pleased with the results and hope you guys will be too  
Reviews pwease? **


	20. Chapter 20

**Here you go, hope you like it**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

He was tired, his eyes closed, the side of his face buried into the pillow and curling the blankets up around him. The door slid open, he heard it, and felt the mana and years of the man approaching him. Though aware of the intrusion, he did not stir. There was no reason to, he trusted him.

"Did I wake you?" he asked, frowning as the boy's eyes opened.

"No, I wasn't sleeping yet," he answered softly, eyes closing again. "Trying but it's…hard."

"I see."

"Do you have any more of that tea stuff you gave me in Meltokio?" he asked. "I think it would help."

"I can make some for you then."

"Thanks."

The man left and he dozed for a bit, a light, half-sleep, opening his eyes again when he felt Kratos approaching. Lloyd looked up, sitting up in the bed as Kratos placed the brew on the bedstand next to him.

"Thanks," Lloyd said again, taking the cup.

Kratos nodded once, sitting down on the bed across from him.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah." Lloyd answered, looking into the cup. "Just kinda…overwhelmed. What are the others doing? Are they okay?"

"They're fine. Don't worry about them right now-"

"Is Genis still mad at me?" he asked quietly, his face falling. "I didn't mean to scare him…any of them, I just-"

"They don't understand, once they do they will come around. I was wary of you as well at first, but now that I'm beginning to understand I am accepting it."

"Beginning to understand?" Lloyd looked at him, a weak half-smile cracking his face. "Yeah I guess…if I don't really understand it it's not fair for me to think anyone else will."

"Things will work out, for now try and rest."

Lloyd looked at him and then to his cup, drinking some of the tea before laying down again and closing his eyes. It must have helped, because soon his breathing slowed and he fell asleep. Kratos sighed a bit, leaning back in the chair. His son was Cenon- rather, Cenon was his son… It was not the first time, though, that Cenon had assumed the form of a human boy. Except back then, it had merely been the spirit disguising himself. That was what had frightened him about this, at first. He was frightened that the spirit had merely taken Lloyd's form, and perhaps his real son had died long ago…

But no. Cenon wasn't the type, he never would be that cruel. Nor was he the type to fake tears or fear, not like the pain he had seen in Lloyd's face.

It was strange looking back at it now. When he had traveled with Yuan and the Yggdrasills, there was the human boy that had tagged along with them that they had erased from history. Of course Mithos erased him, Mithos would never forgive him. He had called himself Vill, Cenon had. Vill, a fifteen year old human boy with bright orange hair and big green eyes. Mithos and Yuan would tease him, say he looked like a carrot. That was before they knew who he really was.

Cenon wasn't like most spirits, the ones you merely had to find and challenge for a pact. No, Cenon was far more picky about who he decided to associate himself with. The spirit had heard about their group making the pacts, so he had taken his guise to join them, to watch them, to learn about them. While he had been doing so, he had convinced them all that he was really as he appeared, a boy named Vill. He would talk with Mithos, exchange quips with Yuan, help Martel with cooking, and Kratos would train him along with Mithos, every day at camp…

Kratos frowned, recalling the dream Lloyd said he had in Meltokio. About a group of people, talking about 'Cenon', and having called him 'Master'…

The Seraph sighed, rubbing his temple.

Even if it was only in dreams at this point, he knew Lloyd had access to this memories. They were, after all, his memories. How much did he know now? How much did he remember about pretending as 'Vill', about the war, about everything that had happened? Did he remember how Cenon had really vanished all those years ago?

"You're going to have to leave his side at some point, Kratos."

"He's resting, keep quiet."

"It doesn't matter if he hears me, it's more likely he'll wake up if he senses me," the half-elf scoffed, walking toward the man, his cape swishing behind him.

"What do you want?"

"…I was wondering how you would react, in all honesty." Yuan eyed him. "Though I have to say, Cenon choosing you to be his human father isn't that surprising. He always was fond of you, a little unusually so in fact."

"He doesn't remember being Cenon, not entirely anyway," Kratos sighed, rubbing his face. "He's frightened."

"He's a spirit, the spirit of life and death no less," Yuan cut in sharply. "There's no point in coddling him, he's one of the most powerful beings in existence."

"He's my son."

"He happened to use your genetics to create a body for himself," Yuan scoffed. "That's all."

"…You still haven't forgiven him, have you? Is that what this is about-"

"Don't insult me, Kratos, I know every well that back then that was-…that was my fault."

"It was our fault. Yours and his for doing that to him, mine for not being able to stop you."

Yuan sighed deeply, his arms across his chest and eying the sleeping teenager.

"When did our lives get so screwed up? You ever stop and wonder that? I mean we were normal…once, now- …I mean sometimes I wonder if I just went as batshit as Yggdrasill did and I'm hallucinating all this."

"You almost sound as if you want to have a pleasant conversation with me, Yuan, it's unlike you."

The blunette glared at the human a moment, his emerald eyes going back to Lloyd.

"He could be the key to all this-"

"You know he's not."

"He could be a very big asset."

"You can't control him Yuan, you know that," Kratos glared at him. "So don't even attempt it."

"I can't control him, I'm not stupid, but convincing is another matter. His companions turned their backs on him, there's no reason he should stay-"

"He wants to rescue the Chosen."

"The girl again," Yuan scoffed. "I-…yes, I suppose there will be no stopping him from that, afterward though is a completely different matter."

"Just let him rest while he can, Yuan."

The half-elf huffed a bit then turned and left, the door sliding shut behind him.

* * *

"There's a few things that don't make sense, which I've been wondering about for some time. If Cenon is the spirit of life and death, how is it he did the things he did? I can understand the plant roots doing his bidding but…the elemental stuff? You know don't you?"

Yuan rubbed his face, confronted with the group's half-elven schoolteacher. She was adamant about her questions, the others were behind her, curious but silent. The Seraph had gone into their midst in another attempt to convince them to aide him in his goals, but instead he ended up with this insufferable woman riddling him with questions.

Well…he might as well tell them, they were good questions after all.

"Cenon has some control over all the elements," Yuan explained. "But it is mainly due to his control of – or rather, that he is, the force of life. For instance…what control he has over water is due to the microscopic life in it, I believe you said at one point he walked on water? That was his power congregating the life in the water beneath his feet to support him."

"What? Surely that can't-" Raine began.

"By all means, it shouldn't, but it does. Cenon's power to control life is supplemented by his own power enhancing that life force in living things. His ability to create winds is based on largely the same concept."

"What about the earthquakes? The lightning? The fire-?"

Yuan sighed, rubbing his face.

"If you're really that interested in the details I'll give you what data I have later, but for now perhaps instead of explaining them all individually I'll give you a more…general, overview."

He crossed his arms, frowning before settling himself down in a chair, eying them.

"As you may or may not know, this world used to be devoid of mana, before the settling of the elves when they planted the Kharlan Tree-"

"The Kharlan Tree? That's just a myth-"

"Just like a person being able to split two worlds apart and the spirit of life and death being your companion."

The group hesitated a moment, put off by his curtness.

"Now then, I'm going to continue. If you want to hear what I have to say then listen, do not interrupt, and believe what I tell you. If you don't believe what I say then there is no point in me speaking at all, are we clear?"

There was a slow, grudging compliance in response.

"Now then, as I was saying. When they planted the tree mana began to seep into this world and life was born. That is not the entire story. There was life on this world before the tree, for many billions of years. The myths go that when the tree and mana came, this world was Neflhiem, hell, and its creatures demons. When the elves brought about their tree and mana they were sealed away in what little remained of their world, which is still known as Neflheim. Do you follow? Yes or no, no questions."

They hesitated but slowly responded to him with hesitant nods of the head.

"Good. Now then, this world certainly was not 'hell', nor were all its creatures demons. You see, life flourished on this world far before that, for great lengths of time. It was perhaps at its prime when things became…unpleasant. Like the elves that later came from Derris-Kharlan, there were creatures that came to this world from another. These are the beings that were and are now known as demons. They were foreign to this world and began to devastate it. They didn't only threatened life on it, but rather threated to kill the very planet itself-"

"Okay, wait a minute. The planet? You're saying the planet is alive?" Zelos scoffed, putting a hand on his hip. "Even if we did buy the whole tree, elves and demon thing, how the hell do you expect us to believe a big hunk of rock is alive?"

"Because it is," Yuan stated flatly. "This planet is alive, it was the first living thing. It has a life of its own, constantly changing, just like the lifeforms upon it. Before I get to the last point I might as well finish this. The demons threatened the life of the planet and it was just fortune that brought the elves about before it was too late. The Kharlan tree produced mana, which as it turns out was toxic to the demons, but harmful to most life on the planet as well. However, as the demons died off, the native creatures to this world, the ones that survived, recovered and evolved to use mana to survive, hence their dependence on it today."

Yuan scanned them all a moment, reading their faces before leaning back in the chair, fixing them with his emerald eyes.

"The spirits existed before mana, but they could not take forms in our world until it arrived. That is why it is difficult for them to appear in the declining world. The reason Cenon can use all the elements is because all of the elements went in to forming the planet. The planet is a combination of all the elements and Cenon is a combination of all the spirits as a result."

"I thought Cenon was life, not the planet," Sheena frowned, biting her lip.

"The planet's life is the first and oldest, and Cenon is life, so think about it for just a moment. Just think." He eyed Raine. "Well? Any ideas?"

"So you're implying…that since Cenon is life it had to exist before the planet or…."

"Or. Yes, Cenon is the planet's life just as he is all life on it. So logically, why shouldn't he be able to use the elements? They're all a part of him, just as every living thing is."

For a minute or so the group could only stare at him in a numb silence, the Seraph scanning them with not just a bit of irritation. He rose from his seat, brushing himself off.

"Well? Any other questions?"

"I-…wait you said- Cenon can control life? Living things?" Genis asked. "Like people?"

Yuan shook his head.

"Cenon never forces anything, he only asks it. For example, the tree roots? He made his will known to them and they did as he desired, nothing more or less. Though…it's unknown just how much power he does have, he could be able to force us all for all we know, but he doesn't."

"And how do you know all this to begin with?" Raine eyed him.

"I asked him," Yuan replied flatly. "Maybe you all could do the same from this point on."

They were silent, mulling over what they had been told and unsure of how to respond to it.

"From the sounds of it, by the way, it seem he's just as lost as you lot," Yuan said as he turned to the door. "You probably know more about him than he does at this point."

Raine frowned.

"Why do you say that?"

"Just stating a fact."

He slipped away without another word.

Meanwhile, the somewhat confused, newly awakened spirit was donning his familiar red attire, slipping up his suspenders and gloves, then adjusting his collar. He gave himself a once over in the mirror, making sure he hadn't missed any buttons. Then he turned as the door slid open and his father entered, frowning.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm done resting, I'm going after Colette."

Kratos frowned and went to speak.

"If my friends still aren't comfortable with me," Lloyd interrupted, frowning a bit. "I won't make them come with me, but I'm going. I'll go by myself if I have to."

"Lloyd, that's dangerous-"

"No it's not," Lloyd said flatly meeting his eyes. "Not for me, not anymore."

For a split second, Lloyd almost thought he had intimidated the Seraph. However the reaction that came about was far from what he expected. Instead of being put off, like the others would have been, the angel's eyes narrowed, his expression steeled. It was the expression he had worn while they were training, when Kratos was scolding him, correcting him, criticizing him. The act of confidence hadn't cowed his father at all, rather served to re-spark his paternal instincts.

"Don't be a fool," Kratos snapped, eyes narrowed. "It doesn't matter what abilities you possess, if you rush blindly into things with nothing but your own arrogance in your capabilities you will face disaster. It doesn't matter what kind of power you have, if you have no semblance of their full capabilities and how to precisely utilize them you are going to do nothing but harm."

Lloyd blinked, looking up at the man, whom had come closer.

"You are not going anywhere without your companions." The Seraph said flatly. "Am I clear?'

Lloyd stared at him a moment, then laughed, throwing the man off-guard just a bit.

"Thanks." Lloyd smiled up at him.

"…For what, exactly?"

"For treating me like I'm not any different," he said with a grin. "Thanks, it means a lot. And thanks for being so worried about me too…but you're right. I won't go anywhere alone. I'm going to go talk to my friends, and then we're going together. I know they want to save Colette just as much as I do."

Kratos relaxed just slightly, nodding.

"Good…"

"What about you? What are you going to do?" Lloyd asked. "Are you…going to stay with us? Or…"

"I will have to leave shortly," Kratos frowned. "I apologize but I've already stayed longer than I should have."

"Oh," he said simply.

Kratos frowned, then looked over his shoulder at the door.

"I'll see if I can get a communicator for you to contact me, if you need to."

"Thanks…I'd like that, if it's not too much trouble."

The Seraph nodded.

"Wait here, I'll see what I can do."

Lloyd gave a small nod of understanding, sighing and sitting down on the nearest chair, thinking. While it was true that it was probably what Kratos said, that it would be reckless, and while he did know that the others wanted to save Colette too…. Well, he supposed there was no other excuse. He was scared. He was scared to confront his companions again, scared to see how they would react, scared that Genis would reject him, Raine would doubt him and all the others would see him as something and someone else entirely. He didn't know if he could take that again, he didn't know if he could take seeing that mistrust and hatred in his best friends eyes again…

He knew he had to confront them. There was no getting around it.

…But…

Down one corridor his father ran into his friends. They looked at each other a moment, standing there in silence.

"Are you going to see Lloyd?" Kratos asked.

"Yes, we are," Raine said, eying him.

"He's very upset, he feels betrayed by you all. Of course he did not say such, but it is not hard to tell."

"Since when did you care about him anyway?" Genis snapped suddenly.

The Seraph met the young half-elf's eyes, however they did not get to exchange another word. Given that Yuan suddenly appeared in their midst.

"He's not with you? Damn!" the man swore, looking around.

"He? What do you mean-…" Kratos' face paled just a hair. "He didn't…"

"That idiot is gone! Damn it all, Kratos, you were right he is just a stupid kid, after all!"

Meanwhile, Lloyd was swiftly flying away from the base on his rheairds, heading toward the location of the nest where Colette was being held. He could save her, he was sure, and that way the others wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. He wasn't sure what he was going to do after that, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it.

**So the first week of class has been…fun, I'm so sore from all the racquetball and kickboxing, lol- oooowww it hurts to laugh**

**Er…review please? **


	21. Chapter 21

**I got a really nice review for this fic a couple weeks ago, it was anonymous though, so I couldn't reply. Just want to tell them thanks, it was very nice.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

He touched down, quickly dismounting and putting away the rheaird.

"Lloyd!"

A smile of relief appeared on his face as he saw her, unharmed but trapped in some strange circle.

"It's okay, Colette, I'm going to get you out of here," he said, rushing toward her.

"N- no! Lloyd stay back! It's a trap!"

A trap-?

There was a flash of light and a blast of mana that sent his head reeling, then realized he was unable to move his feet.

"Ugh-!" his eyes widened, alarmed.

The mana- it was Colette's mana, the circle was spreading it out to snag him! Damn it! He should've sensed something was wrong-

"Lloyd, please, just go!"

"I'm not leaving without you!" he snapped back, struggling to keep his thoughts together.

The mana was too intense for him, he wasn't used to sensing it like this. He had barely begun being able to detect it, and it was always the subtle, ambient mana, not concentrated and targeted like this-

He shook his head, wincing as the throbbing in his head grew worse. No, he could worry about that later, he needed to move- but his body wouldn't cooperate. His teeth clenched in frustration; dammit! Why was it he couldn't do anything?! His body had no damn problem metamorphosing into a spirit at any damn time but not when he actually wanted it to. Great, just great! Lloyd struggled, managing to lift a foot and take a single step.

"Lloyd-!" Colette shouted.

Lloyd whipped his head to the side, a giant set of jaws- two sets, actually- rushing toward him with a deafening roar. His blood ran cold at the sheer size of the dragon and he managed to unsheathe a sword-

A blade of water as big as he was pierced from the sky, slamming into the dragon's head and making it withdraw, shrieking.

"Are you well, dear friend?"

The Maiden of the Mist hovered above him, smiling gently.

"Undine-?"

A whirl of pink and steel sliced into the neck of the dragon, splintering the scales but not managing to pierce.

"Lloyd! Are you okay?!" Sheena shouted from her place on a rheaird.

"Guys-!'

What sounded like shattering glass echoed over the platform despite the strong winds, the crystalline cage around Colette broken apart and the mana retreating back into her body, freeing Lloyd. Kratos grabbed the blonde's arm and pulled her out, the Chosen giving a yelp of surprise to find the Seraph assisting her friends. Lloyd didn't have much time to be grateful, seeing as a few baby sky dragons had appeared to assist their giant mother.

He ran into the fray, fighting off the dragons with his companions. They managed to defeat them and then make their getaway on the rheairds when the nest began to fall from the sky. The whole battle seemed a bit of a blur, though he could remember enough to know he had remained human the entire time, and not used any particularly Cenon-esque abilities. It gave him a mixture of relief and confusion; why was it nothing happened? It was a very dangerous situation, beforehand even ifhe didn't want to some kind of power would leak from him. That was what he pondered to himself as they landed.

Up until his father walked up to him and smacked him across the face.

Lloyd froze, stunned, staring off into space. His cheek stung, one hand slowly coming up and gingerly touching the angry red mark.

"I…" he stammered, staring.

"You were careless. Had we not arrived when we did you would have died."

"I-"

"Spirit or not, you still have a human life!" Kratos snapped, grabbing his wrist roughly. "This body, this human existence, it's just as fragile as any other. That's why the spirits tried to kill you, you do understand that, don't you? You do understand that you can die? You'd become Cenon, permanently, you would never have a real human life again. You'd lose this life, your life as Lloyd, do you understand that or don't you?"

"I- I just-"

"You were arrogant," the Seraph spat, his eyes narrowed dangerously. "That is what happened. Your arrogance endangered you and everyone else."

"Can he even die?" Zelos spoke up, eying them.

"Yeah, I mean…he did die, before, we saw it," Sheena said, biting her lip. "He died and just came back, so maybe-"

"No," Lloyd whispered, his eyes downcast, blank. "No, he's right. I can die, I'm human. That- what happened then was…it won't happen again. I don't have any more chances than that. If I die I won't be human anymore…"

"You're not even human now," Zelos snorted.

"I am, mostly," Lloyd frowned as he rubbed his cheek. "Right now I am, most of the time I am, just with some…other stuff. If I die, though, I…I'll still exist as Cenon, but I'll never get to be Lloyd again. Everyone gets one life, I already broke that rule, I can't…I can't break it again. It's not right."

"Don't you make the rules about that-?" the Chosen asked.

"Yes, that's exactly why I have to follow them." Lloyd said flatly, his eyes briefly flashing white before returning to brown. "…It's…my…responsibility."

Kratos didn't seem any less irritated but remained silent, the half-elven professor took up the cause for him.

"Lloyd that was a mana-trap, that thing they snared you in, do you know what that does?" she said, arms crossed. "It attracts mana-dense forms, living things, to it and then saps the mana away from them."

"I…no I didn't know that-"

"Obviously, if you did you would realize just how dangerous it was. Even moreso, for you. It turns their own mana against them, Lloyd. You're a spirit as well as a human, if we had come a minute later that device would've taken your power as Cenon and used it to damage you."

Lloyd stared at her, trying to process what she was saying.

"She means, Lloyd," Genis spoke up. "That it was dangerous enough for us, but it could have killed you a lot faster."

"And Colette," Raine said. "Seeing as I doubt that the device could've properly contained Cenon's mana, it likely would've overloaded and destroyed everyone there."

"In short, you almost got yourself and the Chosen killed," Kratos interjected sharply…

Lloyd stared at him, stunned into silence.

"I- I…I'm sorry-"

Suddenly, Genis laughed. Lloyd flinched, turning to look at the boy as the others eyed him.

"I-" Genis laughed nervously, rubbing his face. "I'm sorry- no it's not about that- no, just-…He's an idiot! He's a total idiot!"

Lloyd's face flushed, clenching his jaw.

"Hey-!"

"Don't you get it?! He's an idiot!" the boy grinned, throwing his hands up. "He didn't have a clue and recklessly ran off to do something stupid to save someone! He's…"

"In other words, he's Lloyd," Sheena finished, letting out a sigh of relief and a small smile.

"Exactly! No one could do something that dumb but Lloyd! He really is still him!"

"Y- You don't have to keep rubbing that in-" Lloyd huffed, his ears burning red.

Genis ran up and hugged the dual swordsman, shocking him and everyone else.

"Genis-?" Lloyd stammered.

"You're still you, you really are still you," Genis mumbled into his shirt, sniffing. "I thought- oh thank goodness…"

"Genis.."

"Uh…please don't call Lloyd dumb, he was very brave and I'm grateful he tried to save me- oh, I'm grateful you all saved me, of course."

Lloyd twitched, looking over at the blonde chosen who smiled at them all gently. The rest of the group fell silent, having momentarily forgotten they had reclaimed her. A sense of awkward tension settled amongst them, realizing their friend had no idea what was going on…

"Colette-" Raine began.

Lloyd removed himself from Genis' grip and rushed to Colette, throwing his arms around her in a firm hug.

"Oh Colette- are you okay? You're not hurt are you? I'm so so sorry I almost- I didn't realize I could've gotten you heart, I'm sorry-"

"Lloyd, it's okay, I'm okay, see?" Colette smiled at him. "Thank you for coming to save me, thank you all. Just…don't be so hard on yourself, okay? And uh…"

She looked around as Lloyd pulled back from her, her face furrowed into a slight frown.

"I…uhm, could you tell me what's going on?"

* * *

"Where are you going?"

"Away."

The blue eyes regarded the man coldly, the half-elven professor glaring at him with her arms crossed over her chest. She had noticed the Seraph slipping away from the group as they filled Colette in over what had transpired in her absence and set up camp for the night.

"What exactly are you trying to accomplish, Kratos? What do you have to gain from assisting Lloyd, and for helping us rescue Colette? Are you with Cruxis or aren't you?"

"I am with Cruxis, and I must return-"

"What's your relation to Lloyd? Or is it that you have a relation to Cenon? Which one are you concerned about?"

"I am concerned about him, he is not one or the other," Kratos replied flatly, eying her. "As for why, that is at his discretion to tell, now. I will not do it for him."

"So Lloyd knows why you're acting like this?" Raine asked skeptically.

"He does." Kratos nodded.

"…Are you-?"

"Going to leave without saying goodbye again?"

Raine flinched, surprised at the dual swordsman's sudden appearance. She hadn't heard him approach, she hadn't even sensed him. Lloyd wasn't looking at her though, but at the Seraph as he approached.

"You were preoccupied." Kratos replied.

"You said you were going to give me a communicator so I could talk to you," Lloyd said, frowning.

"Ah…yes, I did," Kratos frowned and shuffled around in his pack. "One moment…there."

The Cruxian passed a small device to Lloyd, who scanned it, curious looking.

"How does it work?"

"Raine can explain it to you. I need to be going, Lloyd, I've already been away too long."

Lloyd bit his lip but nodded, pocketing the device.

"Are you sure you'll be okay? Won't they be suspicious?"

"I've been away longer than this before, I'll be all right." Kratos said with a nod. "Don't worry, I'll be in touch as soon as I can."

"Just be careful okay?"

Lloyd hesitated a moment, glancing at Raine then back at the man.

"You as well." Kratos responded.

The teen looked as if he wanted to say something but merely watched as the Seraph took his leave. Raine eyed him, frowning.

"Lloyd? What was that about?"

"He's my father."

Before she could respond he smiled at her, a hesitant smile but a smile all the same.

"I know it's a bit odd but I know you were thinking it anyway. You're always catching on to things so fast."

"Why are you so calm about it?"

Lloyd frowned, glancing away and shrugging.

"Well I think I knew for a while too, and just…well…back at the base he-…he was there for me so I'm just more used to the idea."

Raine twitched a bit, obviously guilty about how she had treated him judging by the expression she gave.

"I'm sorry for how we treated you, Lloyd," Raine frowned, looking away. "Thought if I may be frank I still have my doubts."

"I know, I understand." Lloyd forced a smile. "It's okay though, whether or not you guys trust me I'm still going to down my best to protect you all. Just like Dad was trying to protect me when I hated him."

That was all he said before walking back to the group, Raine looking after him. She frowned, wondering if that statement was from the spirit's wisdom or if Lloyd himself really was maturing…

The next morning they made their way to the Earth Temple. After filling Colette in on what had transpired they discussed their next move, which had been to continue with the pacts. After all that had happened at Volt's temple they nearly forgot the business about the pacts and the mana links, it was the only plan they had at present so the pursued it. Colette hadn't said much about what had occurred regarding Cenon, Yuan and Kratos, but she seemed happy to be back with them. They left it at that. So it was they arrived at Gnome's dwelling.

"I wonder what the ring does here?" Lloyd mused as Genis change it in the pedestal.

"I don't know, let's see…woah-!"

The half-elf nearly fell over and much of the group almost did the same. Lloyd's eyes widened, staring at the ground shaking beneath his feet.

"Earthquake!" Colette yelped.

Lloyd's eyes widened, staring at the stone, feeling the vibrations up his legs. No, more than that, like he could feel the vibrations in the stone, down through the crust- yes, he felt it. He felt the plates of the earth's surface grinding against one another, churning everything upward. The teen gasped, breathing hard, realizing he had stopped for a moment or two.

"Lloyd? Are you okay?" Sheena frowned.

"That- that was," he panted, clutching at his heart. "That…wow. Just…wow…"

He shook his head, an almost giddy grin coming onto his face.

"Woah! That was a rush!" he laughed, shaking his head. "I felt it- I mean we all felt it but- I just- do it again!"

They stared at him.

"What-?"

"Er- well I guess not," he sheepishly scratched his nose. "Nevermind."

It did nothing to alleviate their concerned expressions.

In fact, as they went they only became more concerned.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Lloyd had the silliest grin on his face, which wasn't uncommon for him, really, but it seemed to happen everytime they used the ring.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm great, why?"

"What do you think's wrong with him?" Sheena whispered to Raine.

"Hm…well…I don't see how life has a tie in to crust moving-"

"Hey uh, guys?" Lloyd came over, frowning a bit. "What's the matter? Am I freaking you out again?'

"Well, yeah, actually," Zelos said, blatantly.

"Zelos!"

"Oh, uhm." Lloyd frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. "What am I doing? Is it- oh…the earthquake thing?"

"Yes, Lloyd." Raine bit her lip. "We just don't quite understand why you're acting so…enthusiastic, over the quakes."

"That?" Lloyd blinked.

"Yes, would you mind telling us?"

"Well…" Lloyd scratched his nose, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "It just…makes me feel good, I guess. It's like- how do I put this…"

The swordsman thought a moment, then slowly spoke, his gaze cast off into the distance.

"It's like I can feel it, way deep in the ground. I can feel the plates of the crust move against each other, then I can feel the vibrations. It's like- it's like music. You know when you play a drum or something, and it's loud, and you can feel it vibrate in you? And it feels weird, but kinda good? It's like that, except a million times stronger."

"So you're saying you feel the planet itself?" Raine asked, eying him.

"Yeah-…wait, that doesn't make sense, does it?" Lloyd bit his lip, deep in thought again. "I mean even with the whole Cenon thing, that's life and stuff. Nothing lives down there, right? So that doesn't make sense. I'm not like, the earth spirit or anything. It makes sense if I feel water, there's tons of life in water…"

"This is probably the hardest I've ever seen you think about anything, ever." Genis stared at him.

"H- Hey!" Lloyd huffed, his face turning red. "I can think fine! I just actually care about this! It's not like math or something."

Raine frowned, going over what Yuan had told them and what Lloyd just had. From the sounds of it, Lloyd didn't seem to know why he felt the planet. From what Yuan told them, Lloyd was Cenon, therefore he _was _the planet, so it made sense he could feel it. Though Lloyd didn't seem to be aware of that fact. She watched the dual swordsman argue with her younger brother, getting flustered and annoyed as he always did with the boy's smart remarks. It was hard to believe that hot-tempered, embarrassed young man was the very planet itself…

Wait. Her eyes widened slightly. The planet, the two worlds were originally one world, one planet, forced asunder. The world was parted into two halves, Tethe'Alla and Sylvarant, Cenon and Lloyd, could it be…?

"Hey guys uhm what's this thing?"

"Who you callin' a thing? Huh? Do you wanna fight, losers?"

The group stared down at the tiny little humanoid creature, which was glaring up at them and balling its already rounded hands into fists.

"Oh, uhm, hi," Colette said with a smile. "Sorry to intrude, we're looking for Gnome."

"Hah! A gnomlette!"

In the blink of an eye Lloyd swept to the front of the group, crouching down to get a better look at the creature.

"Wha-?"

"I remember you guys!" Lloyd exclaimed, his eyes alight as he poked the creature's head.

"Whaddya mean remember us?" the gnomlette huffed.

"I-…oh," Lloyd frowned, suddenly looking quite lost. "Uhm…oh crap."

He sighed, rubbing his face.

"I remembered what you're called anyway…" he muttered to himself.

The name had just popped into his head, and for some reason he had been super excited to see one of them just a moment ago. He had had a reason, but the information seemed to have fled his mind. He was so sure he had known what the little guy was…

"You're a friggin' weirdo y'know that?"

Now he was kind of glad he didn't know much about them. Lloyd huffed, getting back to his feet and looking down at the imp.

"So yeah do you know where Gnome is or not?"

"I might, I might not, what's in it for me?"

"Uhm, pretty please?" Colette asked.

"Yeah we really need to find him," Sheena said.

The gnomlette's tune changed almost instantly.

"Ooooh! Well sure pretty lady if ya wan' help I'll be more than happy to give a hand!"

"Well that took a turn pretty quickly," Genis muttered.

"He kind of reminds me of someone…" Lloyd said, sending a side-glance at Zelos.

"Hey- what?! I'm not like that!"

"Sure you aren't."

The group shared a collective laugh at the redhead's expense before following the gnomlette further in. Well, in reality they didn't get too much farther before they ran into yet another little imp that demanded they prepare 'spicy' food for him. Luckily they had ingredients for curry, and figured it was about time for a meal at any rate. So they settled down as Genis stirred the pot, taking a well-earned rest. Well…mostly.

"So hey, spiky, weird-guy, who are you?"

Lloyd blinked, glancing over at the gnomelette that was tugging on his sleeve as he sat on the cavern floor.

"Me? Why?" Lloyd asked.

"You're weird, why?" it asked, pouting.

"That's not the best way to try and get someone to tell you stuff y'know," Lloyd huffed a bit, irritated by the creature's attitude.

"Okay well fine weirdo- I mean, spiky, just…who are you? Huh? What are you?"

Lloyd frowned, wondering if maybe they could 'tell' the same way Corrine had. What were these things exactly? Earlier he felt like he'd known…they had some kind of connection to Gnome, if he was right. So did things that were connected to the spirits just…have the ability to tell?

"I'm Lloyd, why?"

"No I mean what are you? Stop avoiding the question!"

….What was he…

"He's our friend, Mr. Gnomelette," Colette said, smiling as she sat down next to Lloyd.

"Yeah and he's also apparently Cenon, if you know what that is-" Zelos said offhandedly.

"CENON?! DIDJA SAY CENON!?"

Lloyd winced, covering his ear at the sudden screeching voice. Everyone stared at the imp, who gawked at Lloyd with huge eyes and a wide open mouth.

"Er, yes?" the dual swordsman rubbed his ear.

The gnomlette then, abruptly, ran off screaming at the top of his lungs. There was silence as the group stared after it in silence, stunned.

"…So does he not want curry?" Colette asked.

**The reason for the gnomelette's reaction will be revealed next chapter:P**

**Review please? **


	22. Chapter 22

**Yes yes I know I should've updated something else first but I was just so stoked for this chapter and then things kept happening and…blah, sorry for the wait. I'll do a Daddy's Dearest next…**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing**

"I wonder why we haven't seen any of the gnomlettes?"

"I'm still wondering why it ran away from Lloyd."

"Well I'd have to wager it has to do with Cenon, but I don't understand why they would be afraid of him if they're related to the spirits in any way."

"Maybe Gnome doesn't like Cenon or something," Zelos said with a shrug.

"Why would spirits not like each other?" Colette wondered.

"Well Corrine didn't like me, does that count?" Lloyd frowned, thoughtful.

"I'm not sure…" Sheena said, looking a tad uncomfortable at the topic.

"We'll only know for sure when we get there." Raine stated calmly.

Lloyd said nothing but continued to ponder the situation. He was sure there was some reason for the gnomlette's reaction but he'd be damned if he could figure out what it was. They saw hide nor hair of the little imps for a while, then toward the end of their trail they found one waiting for them on a small wooden bridge.

"Oh, look there's one," Colette said with a smile. "They didn't all run away after all."

"You losers want to see the boss, huh?" it said.

"Uh…yeah?" Genis answered, eying him.

"Well fine but Cenon ain't allowed to see him."

Several of them rose a brow but said nothing, waiting for Lloyd's reaction or for the imp to elaborate. The dual swordsman was the one who acted first, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Er, well I kind of need to help my friends with the pact-"

"Nope. The boss don' wanna see you."

"Why? What did I do? I don't really know, you see, so could you tell me what I did?"

"No! The boss don' wanna see you! So beat it!"

Lloyd sighed, biting his lip.

"Uhm, Mr. Gnomelette?" Colette spoke up. "We need Lloyd to help us, we promise we won't do anything bad to your boss, we just need to make the pact."

"Well you're a sweetheart, doll, but the boss reaaallly don' wanna see the guy…."

"Why? If you tell us a reason we'll make him wait here," Sheena said.

"Hey-!"

The gnomlette fidgeted, almost bashful as he eyed Sheena.

"Well, pretty lady, I guess maybe I could tell ya…but…"

"Pleeaaase?" Colette smiled brightly and Sheena copied her expression.

"Aw shucks," the imp rubbed the back of his neck. "All right. The boss don' wanna see Cenon 'cause the last time they played poker he lost a lot to him ya see."

The assorted group could only respond with a long, awkward moment of silence.

"What?" Zelos said.

"Yup."

"What are- you're telling me spirits gamble? You're just messing with us, aren't you?" Genis scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What? No, uh-uh, I'm tellin' the truth. The boss hasn't paid him back in like, four thousand years."

"What would spirits need with currency?" Raine scoffed, looking almost offended at the thought.

"Currency? Wazzat? Like money?" the gnomlette tilted his head. "Nah, not money. Cenon don' care 'bout money. The boss owes Cenon some new rocks."

"…What?" Zelos said again. "What the- Lloyd, dude, you have any idea what he's talking about?"

"I…no," Lloyd chewed the inside of his cheek. "That doesn't make any sense to me either."

"Huh? Well if you don' want them anymore I guess you can go see the boss then." The gnomelette said. "If you're sure you don't want them."

"I'm pretty sure I don't want them," he said.

"Well, all right then. Follow me!"

It headed off and the group eyed Lloyd, who fidgeted under their scrutinizing gazes.

"What?"

"Rocks."

Lloyd scoffed, his cheeks starting to flush.

"Well I don't know! Look, let's just follow him to Gnome and hurry and make the pact."

Despite the strangeness of the conversation they decided to let it rest for then. They had a job to do after all, and trying to wrap their minds around why a spirit would want with rocks wasn't something they were going to accomplish any time soon.

So they pressed onward, following the gnomlette until they found themselves before an altar like the ones that had been in Undine and Volts' temples. Sheena walked forward toward it, readying herself to address the spirit when quite suddenly, the strange hamster-like spirit appeared and pointed a shovel at Lloyd.

"I TOLD YOU I'D MAKE THEM WHEN I MADE THEM! GET OFF MY BACK!"

"Uh-?"

"Oh!" Gnome blinked, suddenly directly in front of Lloyd. "Huh, that's weird."

Lloyd scrambled back but the spirit followed, poking him with the shovel as he stared down at the red-clad teen.

"Hey- stop that!" Lloyd snapped.

"Duuuudde…this is weiiiiirrdd…." Gnome stared, his eyes widening comically. "Really, man? Of all the forms you could take you ended up with this one? Lookit you! You're like a flimsy little broom-head, what's with that hair? And those clothes? Yuck! Man I thought you had class, what gives?"

"H- Hey! Don't insult me, you overgrown hamster!" Lloyd snapped, his face noticeably flushed.

"Overgrown hamster? Dude, really? Wow this is like, embarrassing, what'd the chicks say?"

"Chicks?" Zelos rose a brow.

"Seriously, Zelos? This is going on and that's the thing that gets your attention?" Sheena scowled.

Zelos had a brief look of contemplation on his face which just as quickly turned into a big grin.

"Well of course, babe, ladies are always at the forefront of my mind."

"So like, really, dude? Why this body?" Gnome asked curiously. "Couldn't you have gotten one more intimidating or-? Oh! Ooooooh, I get it! This body is Kratos' son, isn't it?"

Lloyd twitched, staring at the spirit.

"How did you-?"

"Hah! That's hilarious! Dude, we always knew you idolized the guy to a weird extent but seriously? Then again I guess at the time you only had like, two other options and both of them were trying to destroy you."

"What are you even-…what?" Lloyd frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Oh you don't remember? Nevermind then, look if your buddies want my pact then okay, but I am not, repeat, NOT fighting you. That's just not fair, you get me? Like, at all, you'd kick my ass and I'm not up for that. So, you sit out, mkay?"

"Wait! Tell me what you were talking about!" he snapped, frustrated. "What do you mean options? I-"

"Sheesh you really don't know anything anymore, do ya? Look, if you don't remember I ain't tellin' ya. So why don't we just get to the pactmaking thingie?" Gnome made a shooing motion with his paw. "You go sit over there while I fight your friends, mkay?"

Lloyd went to protest but Raine silenced him by putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked back at her and she met his eyes, shaking her head with a small frown.

"If he says he won't tell, he won't tell. If it's important you'll remember it in time, Lloyd. Right now we have a job to do, remember?"

It did nothing to curb his frustration but he sighed, looking at the group.

"A- are you sure you don't want me to fight?"

"It's all right, Lloyd, we can manage without you for one fight," Genis said with a light smirk.

Despite meaning it to reassure him, Lloyd felt a bit rejected. Still, he returned a weak smile back and nodded, then went off to the side and sat down.

He watched Sheena go up and ask the annulment of Mithos' pact, then watched as the earth spirit and his friends proceeded to fight each other. Lloyd sighed, propping his head up on his arm, his elbow resting on his knee. They were doing fine, he knew, he could see they had it all under control. Even so, he couldn't help but feel left out; he couldn't stand just sitting there watching. Every time Gnome's shovel swiped for one of his friends he nearly leapt up, every time they dodged a spell- No, he told himself, he had to keep calm and just trust in them.

Lloyd sighed, closing his eyes and trying to calm himself down. Instead he found himself thinking to what the gnomlettes had said earlier, about rocks. Why would he have wanted rocks? Seemed like a silly thing for a spirit to care about, except for the earth spirit, of course. Cenon was life, right? What did life care about-

His eyes snapped open.

Oh…oh!

"You promised me a new mineral four thousand years ago and you still haven't gotten it together?!" he found himself shouting, suddenly on his feet. "What, did you just think I was gone for good or something?!"

"What-? OW! OW! CHEATER! CHEATER!"

The hamster was on the ground, flailing and clutching his round, furry head. Presea blinked, tilting her head as Gnome rolled around in pain.

"You let your guard down," Presea said flatly.

"It was his fault! He promised to stay out of it! No faiiiiiirrr!" he whined.

"Well YOU promised me those minerals now didn't you?!" Lloyd snapped, crossing his arms and glaring at him.

"Oh come on you said you didn't remember-!"

"I just did! How am I supposed to make my lava-snails without those minerals for their shells! Huh?!"

His friends stared at him and he glanced between them and Gnome.

"….Lava-snails?" Genis finally asked, his brow raised.

"Well yeah!" Lloyd huffed, pointing an accusatory finger at Gnome. "Hamster-boy here promised me some heat-resistant minerals so I could make shells out of them so I could have snails that could swim in magma."

They continued to stare at him with incredulous, baffled expressions and the dual swordsman pouted, crossing his arms across his chest.

"They were going to be so cool too, I already had everything planned out for what they'd eat and how they'd lay their eggs and-….what?"

There was more silence and Gnome sat up, rubbing his head and rolling his eyes.

"Neeeerrrrdddd!" he jeered, sticking out his tongue.

Lloyd's eye twitched and Gnome yelped; large, thick roots had burst from the ground and ensnared the spirit, who flailed.

"Wait a minute! I take it back-!"

"Who are you calling a nerd, you chubby rodent!?" Lloyd snapped, stomping towards him. "At least I can come up with better things to do with dirt than to roll around in it!"

"Hey! I do more than that and you know it!" Gnome stuck his tongue out at him. "Who do you think keeps the soil healthy enough for your precious little frilly flowers to grow, huh?!"

The roots tightened, making Gnome let out a squeal and Lloyd smirked smugly.

"That was your own fault, you insulted them."

"Oh come on, man-! All this over some silly idea for a new animal-?!"

"Silly!" Lloyd shouted, looking purely offended. "Silly- silly was what happened when I made those snarky little gnomlettes of yours! I mean did you bother teaching them any kind of manners at all?!"

"I totally did!"

"Yeah, sure you did."

"Well you brought'em to life so don't blame me!"

"You designed them!"

"Uh….guys? Can we- uh…make the pact now?"

Lloyd and Gnome both looked over at the group and suddenly looked sheepish. Lloyd cleared his throat and backed up, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Er, yeah, sorry guys. Go ahead."

The roots released Gnome and he pouted, going back to his altar.

"Hurry up and make your vow already so I don't have to deal with Mister Grumpy anymore."

Lloyd grumbled to himself, pouting as Sheena made her vow. Gnome cast another glance at Lloyd.

"So uh, we cool, buddy?"

"No. You owe me."

"Oh come on! You couldn't make them now anyway! You're human! Well...kinda!"

The teen twitched a bit at the statement, a brief look of confusion crossing his face before he shook his head, gripping it a bit.

"I…oh." He frowned. "I- yeah, right…"

Sheena cast him a glance but then spoke her vow to Gnome, who conceded and then vanished in a flash of mana. The group sighed a bit in relief, then eyed Lloyd.

"Uhm…Lloyd? Are you okay?" Colette asked.

"Wh-? Yeah, I'm fine, sorry I just kinda- I got worked up."

"Lava-snails, Lloyd? Seriously?" Genis rose a brow, his familiar mocking-amused tone evident in his voice.

"W- Well they would have been cool!" Lloyd snapped, his cheeks flushing a bit. "I mean, I had it all planned out. They would've been in Efreet's temple to start with, and they would've eaten coal because it has organic matter and then they would've had these funny little feelers-…."

"You know, I should be questioning how you know words like 'organic' but at this point, yeah, Cenon thing, we get it. Just…now it's like…" Genis smirked a bit. "It's just-"

"Dude, you're a total nerd," Zelos said.

Lloyd flinched, scowling.

"I am not a nerd!"

"You are so a nerd, you are SUCH a nerd." Zelos laughed. "Did you even hear yourself? You were going on like the Professor does whenever she finds some old buildings! Dude, Cenon is a _dork_!"

"Well- well I- shut up, we need to hurry up and get going anyway, Celsius is next right?"

"That is what we decided on, yes…" Raine said.

"Uhm- let's get going then, I'm sure everyone is tired and we could use a rest." Colette spokeup with her usual smile.

"Yeah," Genis agreed a tad rapidly. "Let's go set up camp outside."

Lloyd was relieved that they decided not to pursue the issue that Zelos had clearly made the start for, though he knew they must all still have it on their minds, he was grateful his friends were trying to act like things were as normal as possible. It reassured him to know that despite it all, they were still on his side- at least, they were on Lloyd's side.

The thought troubled him, getting a frown onto his face.

Lloyd's side? He was Lloyd- yeah, yeah he was, he was sure of that. Like he told Colette, he was still him, he was still Lloyd. Yes, he was still Lloyd…but…was he still Cenon?

"Lloyd? You coming?"

"Huh-? Uh, yeah! Sorry, spaced out."

He'd question that strange thought later.

* * *

"It is freezing!" Sheena moaned, hugging herself to try and keep warm.

"Why didn't we bring any coats?" Genis shivered.

"Oh…I don't think it's too cold," Colette said, a thoughtful look on her face.

"You still have angelic resistance to temperature, dear," Raine explained as she tried to warm her hands.

"Oh! You're right, sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, let's just hurry and find a place to buy coats."

"I know a place around the corner," Zelos said. "Come on, not too far. Let's hurry I'm freezing my sexy ass off."

Ignoring Zelos comment they quickly entered the establishment, immediately relieved by the warm fireplace cackling in the building. They quickly went about selecting heavier coats and Lloyd rubbed his nose to try and get the numbness to fade. It was kind of funny but a relief too, that even as weird as he'd become he was still normal enough to nearly get frostbite. He looked through the racks of coats, looking for one that would fit and then turned into one aisle. Turned into one aisle, and directly into Yuan.

"Yu-?" he began.

"Shh," Yuan said flatly, cutting him off. "Just going to give you a bit of advice. You're heading to make the pact with Celsius?"

"I- yeah-"

"Don't." Yuan said flatly.

Lloyd frowned, eying the Renegade leader with obvious suspicion.

"Why? I thought-"

"No, I don't mean don't make the pact, I mean _you _don't go. Stay in this city, or anywhere, just don't be there when they challenge Celsius."

"Why not?" Lloyd asked, curious. "Is it because Volt and Undine tried to kill me? I don't think that's a problem anymore, we made the pact with Gnome just fine earlier today-"

"For all the other pacts I don't care what you do, in fact if you're really set on going to this one I won't stop you, I'm just giving you some advice. Don't go. I'm not sure if it would really be 'dangerous' for you, but you'll regret it if you go."

"Why?" he said. "If you'd give me a reason-"

Yuan turned on heel.

"If Kratos was here he'd recommend the same thing, Lloyd. Celsius isn't someone Cenon would have a pleasant time running into right now."

Lloyd twitched at that.

"Wait- why? Yuan-"

With a flash and a surge of mana, he was gone. Lloyd cursed a bit under his breath, knowing he'd be too far gone for him to find at this point.

"Lloyd?"

He turned around and spotted Genis, who scanned the aisle with a frown.

"Did- was someone here? I sensed someone's mana but…"

"Yeah…let's get everyone together and I'll tell you guys."

Once the group gathered in the lounge of the inn, Lloyd relayed what Yuan had told him to his friends. They looked puzzled or at least curious, trying to figure out what the blue-haired Seraph's motivations could be.

"It could be a trap of sorts, to get you alone," Raine suggested. "Though given the track-record, Yuan seems unable and unwilling to try to force you into anything…"

"Is it possible he's devised some other scheme to somehow coerce Lloyd into helping him?" Regal pondered.

"Well he said Celsius and Cenon aren't going to be good together, something like that, right?" Sheena frowned. "What could the ice spirit have against the life spirit?"

"Perhaps Celsius would attempt to kill him?" Presea said.

"No, I don't think that's it," Genis shook his head. "Seems like there's more to it than that."

"Maybe Celsius is Cenon's ex-girlfriend." Zelos said with a lax shrug.

"Wh- what?" Colette stared.

"Oh come on, that's ridiculous," Genis rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure spirits don't date."

"Well apparently they play poker, so who's to say?" the red-haired chosen laughed.

"Now, seriously, what could this be about?" Raine crossed her arms, deep in thought. "Whatever it is, I don't think we should leave Lloyd behind. Even if we did he'd likely get into some other sort of trouble anyway."

"Yeah."

"That's true."

"Yup."

"Hey!" Lloyd pouted.

"So it's settled then. We'll all head to Celsius' temple together in the morning. Everyone get some rest."

They disbanded to their rooms and Lloyd plopped onto his bed, sighing as he stared up at the ceiling. Was every encounter they had with a spirit going to cause some drama?

**Yes, Lloyd. Yes.**

**Review please?**


	23. Chapter 23

**Well this should be fun**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

"It's so cold…" Sheena shivered, letting out a sneeze.

"It's really pretty though," Colette chirped with her usual sunny smile.

"It took forever to get those stupid gloves though," Zelos moaned. "Did we really have to go out of our way to do that just to get some weird flower?"

"A flower growing in this environment is quite fascinating though." Raine mused to herself.

They stood around the small crystalline plant that was rooted into the outcrop of rock, overlooking the rest of the iced over cavern. Lloyd frowned, looking out over the area. His breath was a puff of steam in the chilled air, as were all the others. There was something about this whole region that made him feel…he wasn't quite sure. It was a freezing, harsh environment; it was difficult for anything to live here at all and yet- yet they did. A penguinist waddled by down below and a lobo prowled through the glaciers, the cuticles on its back providing some camouflage to its surroundings. It was amazing, really, how they managed to live here.

He felt a small smile on his face, a warmth building in his body and a deep, serene sense of affection. They were beautiful, how they blended into their surroundings and how they persevered in the cold and dark... It made him happy.

"It is quite amazing, how life can take hold even here, is it not?"

Lloyd blinked, glancing over his shoulder. Regal had spoken, the others having plucked the Celsius' tear and were now looking at him curiously.

"That is what you were thinking about, was it not?" the man asked.

The teen hesitated a moment and then nodded, smiling sheepishly at them.

"Yeah."

He started for the tunnel entrance without another word on the subject.

"Come on, it shouldn't be too much further in right?"

"Er- yeah, with this flower we should be able to freeze the lake," Genis said.

"Yeah, that's been bugging me," Zelos eyed Lloyd. "If you can walk on water and shit why don't you just freeze the lake yourself, huh? I mean you made ice before, remember at the bridge? Why don't you just try it again?"

Lloyd slowed a bit then turned partially, looking at Zelos with a curious blink.

"Oh- well I- I guess…I could try," he frowned, his eyes downcast. "I guess it just didn't occur to me- but I mean, usually- why are you guys all so eager to see me do things like that now? I thought we were well…trying to- well that I was trying to avoid doing stuff like that."

"It doesn't matter anyway, we can just freeze the lake now so it's a moot point." Raine cut in sharply. "Let's hurry onward, it's too cold for us all to stay here for very long."

"I agree, I'm freezing," Sheena said.

They made it to the lake and Genis, whom had the flower, touched its petals to the water. Almost in an instant the lake froze solid and the group expressed their awe.

"Now we can cross!" Colette smiled.

"Everyone be careful, it's probably slippery," Raine instructed.

"It can't be that- WOAH HOLY MARTEL-"

They winced as Zelos slammed face first into the ice.

"You idiot you shouldn't have tried to rush out," Sheena scowled, carefully stepping onto the ice.

Curiously Lloyd stepped out, careful not to slip. He wobbled a little but the others seemed to manage well enough. Briefly, Lloyd thought back to the lake in Sylvarant and the first time he'd experienced Cenon's- well…his power. How he ran across the surface of the lake and how amazing it felt. Lloyd smiled a bit and then eyed the other side of the lake and split into a grin. He took off at a sprint and the others called after him. He felt his body about to slip and he quickly moved his body into a slide, one foot out in front and the weight resting on the back leg. With one quick zip down the ice his feet plowed into the snow on the other side and he pivoted around, laughing to himself.

"That was awesome! You guys should try it!"

"Are you insane?!" Genis called over. "I'd break my neck doing that!"

"But it's fun!"

"Well, it does look fun but I'm not sure…" Sheena hesitated.

"I'm just going to walk, thank you," Raine said, doing so along with several of the others.

"Doesn't anyone care about my precious face?!" Zelos whined.

Lloyd rolled his eyes but waited patiently for his friends to cross, hugging himself a bit to keep warm. It was colder further into the caverns but hopefully the fight with Celsius would warm them up. Though they hadn't forgotten Yuan's odd 'warning' and there was some hesitation as they peeked into the altar room.

"Lloyd….do you want to stay behind?" Raine asked. "We don't know what Celsius will do…"

"If she doesn't want me to fight, I'll just watch like I did with Gnome." Lloyd shrugged. "If she tries to kill me well…I mean, none of them have managed so far, and I have you guys with me. It should be fine, right?"

"He'll just come in after us anyway, he can't stay put to save his life." Zelos rolled his eyes. "Just let him come with us and cut out the middle man."

"Well…all right, but everyone be careful."

They had barely stepped into the cavern when the exit froze shut behind them, a wall of ice separating them.

"Woah-!"

An icy, piercing wind blew from the altar and it felt like it cut straight into their bones. They brought up their arms or hugged themselves in defense against the cold and quite abruptly, in a burst of blue light she appeared.

Celsius looked down at them with her blue eyes, as icy and her essence itself. They cut as sharply as her wind, sweeping them and then locking on the wide-eyed Lloyd. The wind picked up and her fingers curled tightly into fists at her sides.

"You."

Another wall of ice jutted up from the ground, cutting Lloyd off from the others. Lloyd gasped, looking over his shoulders and then back at the spirit, drawing his swords.

"Wait-!"

He let out a shout of pain and he realized his legs had been covered in ice, freezing his feet to the floor. Before he could do anything he felt icy fingers dig into his cheeks and force his face forward, to look into her eyes. Her nails dug into his skin and chilled his blood, however the ice in her eyes was far more attention-grabbing. She was nose to nose with him, hovering slightly off the ground.

"You did it." She whispered softly, a shaking in her voice. "You actually did it…you _IDIOT!_"

"Wh-?! AGH-!"

She smacked him across the face, her nails slicing open his cheek and drawing blood, the frigid cold making them burn as the fluid met the air.

"How _COULD YOU_!?" she shrieked.

Her voice almost blended with the howling wind, reverberating in some kind of terrifying harmony in the air. Lloyd gaped at her, pale and stunned. She was terrifying, the icy wind blowing her hair and skirt back and her eyes- her entire being seemed sharp with rage. Her teeth were grit, her fists clenched and pure fury burned in her cold eyes. Lloyd stammered, attempting to make sense of the situation.

"I-"

He cut off with another shout as she struck him again, drawing blood from his nose. The muffled voices of his friends were in the background, barely audible in the screaming winds.

"How could you do this to me?!" she shrieked, slamming her fist into his stomach. "How could you?! How could you just- just-!"

"I- I don't know what you're talking about!" Lloyd choked, attempting to collect himself. "I don't know-"

"Exactly! You don't know! You don't know at all! You don't remember!" she shouted, her teeth gritted.

Then he noticed the droplets forming in her eyes, barely held back. He stared for just a second and she grabbed his face again, forcing him to meet her eyes.

"You monster," she whispered, a hitch in her voice. "You forgot everything, didn't you?"

His eyes widened and he felt a wrenching feeling in his stomach more intense than the punch she had delivered to it. For a moment he seemed numbed to the cold and to the pain, to everything but the hatred and tears in her eyes and the twisting in his heart. He didn't know why, he couldn't remember why, he didn't know why but he felt it. Guilt. Such intense guilt that he couldn't explain, like when Iselia had burned, but- but as if…

"You forgot us! You forgot all of us! Undine, Volt, Gnome- me! You forgot ME!"

The tears she had been holding back slipped down her blue cheeks, the drops hissing into steam. Her lips were quivering but her teeth were still gritted, her nails dug painfully into his face.

"You forgot me," her voice cracked softly. "You disappeared for four thousand years, became a human and you forgot me…"

An audible crack shock the cavern and she looked up, Lloyd managed to twist to look behind them. The wall of ice had been blown open by a couple fire spells, and from the looks of it, Presea and Colette's combined strength.

"Lloyd! Lloyd are you okay?!" Colette cried.

A shrill laugh froze them almost as efficiently as her ice had, all of them staring at her. She laughed, hugging herself and doubling over. Steam continued to rise up from her face and Lloyd knew she was still crying.

"Ce- Celsius-"

"And you replaced us!" she shouted, jerking her head up.

She was crying freely now, her body shaking as if the cold affected her as well. The rage was gone, died out like the chilled winds. She was sobbing, looking at Lloyd with pure despair.

"You replaced us…" she trembled, hugging herself more tightly. "All of us, your friends- we were your friends, we all were. You- you didn't even remember any of us. Gnome- Gnome was heartbroken…but you didn't even know, did you?! You didn't even know how hard it was for him to see his best friend not remember a damn thing about him! You didn't know what Undine felt to see you parade in with some humans and care about them but not even recognize her!"

Lloyd was completely speechless, his mind a blank. The guilt only intensified, it felt hard to breathe, he felt like he didn't deserve to even be breathing to begin with. What was this? What was she…talking about? Did he really-

Oh Martel.

Yes…he didn't even think about it before. He didn't remember but- but…if he had been Cenon, if he had been a spirit, then the other spirits had been his companions, his friends. Oh no, oh Martel no, he had forgotten his friends. That's what he had done, wasn't it? He'd forgotten his friends, it would be just like if he completely forgot who Colette, Genis and the others were…

"Celsius…" he whispered. "I…."

"No! Shut up! SHUT UP!" She shouted, bringing her fists up at her sides and opening her arms. "Shut up! Don't you dare! You forgot us! You threw us away! We loved you, Cenon! We loved you and you forgot us and went on to go play human with these wretches! You forgot about us and replaced us like- like toys!"

The wind began to pick up again and Lloyd jerked, panicked.

"Wait- Celsius, no!"

Ice burst from the ground again, this time freezing his companions. They shouted and struggled, their heads still exposed but the rest of their bodies unable to move.

The spirit's eyes narrowed on Lloyd, the snow and ice beginning to blow through the cavern again.

"Volt had the right idea…" she muttered. "We need to free you, Cenon, that's it… We need to kill this human you've become, we need to destroy it. Then you can come back, then you'll remember, then you'll return to us…"

"Celsius, no! Please-!"

A spear made of ice formed in her hands as icicles exploded from the ceiling, floor and walls, creating a twisted framework of jagged, sharp, frozen spikes.

"Then you'll come back to me, Cenon," she said, her fingers tightening on the weapon.

She locked eyes with him, her jaw tight and lip twitching.

"I won't let them take you away from me again."

Celsius gave an inhuman war cry and charged forward, thrusting her spear toward his heart. Lloyd saw her come forward and took a deep breathe, closing his eyes in resignation, bracing himself for what had to come.

Her eyes widened, shaking. The spearhead had broken, splintering. Its tip had shattered upon impact with the black breastplate. The ice around it was melting away, chunks of it falling to the floor and dissolving into the air. Celsius slowly looked up from the weapon and met the white eyes.

"Ce- Cenon-" she stammered.

He said nothing, just looked at her. The spirit shook more, shaking her head.

"D- don't- don't look at me like that!"

He slowly lifted his hands up.

"No! Stop! How dare you look at me like that! How dare you pity me!" she shrieked. "I-!"

She cut off, eyes darting down to her hands on the spear. He had lifted his hands up to hers, gently curling his fingers around her cold blue ones. That was all he did; he didn't say a word, didn't move, just looked at her.

Celsius let out another cry, this time one more of anguish than of rage. She fell against him, her face in his chest and she sobbed. The spear dissolved into flecks of ice and she wept, pounding her fists weakly against his chest as he rested his hands gently on her shoulders.

"H- How could you-" she sobbed. "How could you forget me… I- I lo- I…"

She slid down and ended up on her knees, covering her face in her hands as he slowly stepped back to kneel down before her.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

"Then come back! Stop! Stop this and just-!"

She cut off, staring at the look on his face, the sad, soft smile.

"I can't die, Celsius, I can't, not yet. I'm alive…this is my life, these are my friends, I have to live this life, it's mine."

"You're a selfish bastard," Celsius spat, hanging her head again. "I hate you."

He looked at her in silence a moment and then slowly went to touch her cheek. She slapped his hand away, vanishing in a burst of blue mana and reappearing above her altar.

"You!" she shouted, pointing at Sheena.

The ice thawed, leaving them all free.

"Pactmaker! Make your vow! Make your vow and leave me be!"

"I- …For the sake of a world in which the two worlds must no longer sacrifice one another, I ask for thy power."

"Granted. Now get out and never enter my temple again!"

Celsius disappeared in yet another burst and the remaining ice disappeared, leaving them all standing, staring, in silence.

No one spoke, hardly anyone moved. While no one fully comprehended what had just happened, they were rocked so much by it that they couldn't bring themselves to break the unsettling peace that had consumed them. They only could stare at Cenon, who didn't look at them. He was still kneeling on the ground, staring at where Celsius had been.

Abruptly he changed back into the Lloyd they knew but he didn't move either. Then after a moment or two he fell forward on his hands and knees, his head hung and his shoulders shaking.

"Lloyd-"

He choked back a sob, shaking his head and digging his hands into the dirt.

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry…" he cried freely, his eyes shut tight. "I'm so sorry…"

Lloyd pushed himself to his feet, wiping his eyes stubbornly and then looking at them. They didn't know what to do but he didn't put that burden on them. He turned and walked back through the way they had come in, not saying a word to any of them. They followed, silently. They exited the caverns and Colette went to break the silence.

Then all of a sudden, he stopped, looking at the frozen flower they had used to freeze the lake, staring at it. Raine had been carrying it on the way out, wearing the penguinist mittens.

"Professor...can I see it?"

Raine eyed him a moment, frowning.

"Lloyd are you sure that's a good idea? You're…perhaps we should discuss what just happened-"

"Please, Professor."

Raine was silent a long moment, as was the rest of the group. Finally the half-elf nodded, setting the flower down so she could pass the mittens to Lloyd. Once the warm mitts were snug on his hands he picked up the glistening flower, staring at it. It looked like an ice-sculpture, was it really a flower at all? Was it-...

He closed his eyes, feeling the cold chill in his fingers from the 'plant'.

It had been a gift.

His eyes snapped open but he didn't move, didn't even look away from it.

It had been a cold year, very cold, many things had died. Plants, animals, people...it was an act of nature, it was a part of life, no one's fault, yet it still had upset him, still had made him ache with loss.

She had come to him as he observed a frozen landscape where a warm, healthy forest usually was, as he had observed the dead and dying plants, the animals already long fled or deceased. They had said nothing to each other, though she had tried many times to do so. He had looked at her, silent, solemn as she tried to apologize and then ended up just hanging her head, fists clenched at her sides.

_"I don't- I don't mean to kill your creations- I like them, I really do, they are...they're beautiful, they're..." _

She had fallen silent again, a tear hissing as it slid down her icy cheek, its heat vaporizing the liquid as it crossed her icy skin. Still, a small part of the drop had fallen to the icy ground, freezing into a tiny bud. It was then she looked up at him, then down at the 'bud' of her tear on the ground.

She put her hands to the ground, around it, the small pebble of ice growing, sculpting itself into a beautiful flower. He had only stared at it, then her as she looked up at him.

_"The...real flowers will be back someday," she said softly. "Until then I...I can make these, for you...if they will make you happy."_

The chilled wind howled around them but the flower remained in place, unaffected by the gust or cold. Slowly a small smile curled into his face. He stepped forward, placing his hands atop of hers, on either side of the ice-sculpture.

The bit of ice flushed blue, beginning to pulse, exuding vapor into the air, breathing in the cold air. She had stared at it, eyes wide, even wider when he took her hands up in his, meeting her eyes.

_"Thank you."_

Lloyd opened his eyes, having not realized he had closed them again.

The Celsius' Tear was alive.

He had been the one that gave it life.

…**.I wrote that in one go**

**(plop)**

**Oh my God…I feel like I just got done with a workout but…mentally…weird**

…**I am so freaking proud of this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it**

**Review please? **


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